Postsecrets The Naruto Chronicles
by kitsune203
Summary: Sasuke loved Naruto, but moved away too soon to tell him how he felt. He wrote a postcard in to a organization, and it shows up online. Watch how fate just doesn't want to leave it at that. mostly Sasunaru, hints of Kakairu, Shikatem, LeeSakuGaa, Kibahina
1. Part 1

Naruto – Postsecrets

Ok, I think I'll tell you a little bit about this idea before I get started. This will tell a little bit about the fanfiction, so you will know what to expect.

1. This is a slight rip-off of the post-secret website (postsecret . blogspot . com spaces removed), and I give them full credit for the idea of secrets anonymously mailed in, telling dark secrets no one else will hear. I love that idea, so I decided to make a fanfiction about it.

2. This is a yaoi story. Please do not hurt me. I understand if you don't like gay relations (it's your opinion, and I respect that), but please do not read this and say it is crap because of this. I have a touch of a sensitive soul, which brings me to my next point.

3. Flaming. Most authors do not like it. Well, I am not most authors. However, if you are going to flame me, can I ask that you leave an idea of how I could improve? Any pointless flames will be deleted. That's just the way things go.

4. Please do review. I'm not quite fond of people just reading a story, and then leaving it. I want to know what you think! Please tell me?

5. There will be a minimum of Japanese. While I have tested as nearly fluent in the language (I failed by 4 points…), I think it only makes sense for characters with a Japanese background to speak Japanese (I think Sasuke is the most traditional Japanese, so he will be the only one speaking), unless they are talking to someone Japanese who cannot speak English well. It makes no sense any other way. Then again, this is simply one of my preferences. Please do not leave a review saying to add Japanese. I find translating for people that cannot speak troublesome.

6. Pairings of this fanfiction. The main pairing is Sasuke and Naruto. I'm thinking about Kakashi and Iruka, but they would probably get their own companion fanfiction. Tell me what you think, please.

7. If you want to beta-read, for the love of all that is holy, email me (see my profile). I do not want to have horrendous grammar. Thank you.

Read and review. Thank you for sticking around through this rant. I know it's quite troublesome.

**Begin prologue**

To say Naruto was bored would be an understatement. None of his friends were online, his guardian, Iruka, was not home, and (to top it all off) the TV was broken. So, being the rational person he was, he hit his head on the desk repeatedly. After about ten minutes of said head hitting, he decided to email one of his friends, whom he hadn't seen in a while. Just a random "Hey, how're you doing?" email, not really anything important…

Or so he thought.

Little did Naruto know this email would change his life.

When Naruto opened his email he noticed something. The screen read "Inbox (1)". He blinked his eyes in a near disbelief. Someone was emailing _him_? Normally, he would just instant-messaged with whomever he felt necessary. Feeling an urge to click the smooth, white mouse button, he clicked on the link. The email was from his friend, Kiba, and read as such:

"Yo! Naruto, how are ya? Guess what? Hinata sent me this awesome website, and don't worry, there's no pr0n. Go look and see!

-

Kiba"

Naruto knew that Kiba was dating Hinata, so in order not to piss his friend off, he clicked on the blue hyperlink. Even if Hinata was a little weird, maybe the website was good.

Looking at the address, Naruto realized that it was a blog. He groaned inwardly, thinking "Oh, great. I'm going to read some emo kid's crappy poetry… I'd take porn over that any day…" Of course, what he saw next amazed him. There was only one line of text, from what he could see. It said "Postsecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard."

He did not know what possessed him to scroll down the page. Maybe it was boredom, maybe curiosity, or maybe a mixture of the two. Whatever it was, it caused him to look. The first one made him laugh a little, reading "I love my blanket more than my pillow…" the second one made him feel a little sad, reading "I have no clue. And it's all your fault." However, the third one really spoke to him.

"I haven't spoken to you in years, since my brother killed my soul… I wish I told you I loved you back then."

In the corner, it read "forgive me?" in a very small print. Somehow, Naruto felt a connection with this card, and its writer. Who? Who would have sent this in? He needed to know!

And then, cold reality hit him. The first sentence of the website read "Postsecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard," didn't it? But, the curiosity burned within him. Who wrote this? Why did he feel a connection? Why… did he have an urge to write in a reply?

**With Sasuke**

Having sent in a postcard no less than a week ago to an organization he had known nothing about, to have it posted on the internet, was a scary thing. Yet, somehow, it made his chest seem a little lighter. He had finally done it. He had actually expressed feelings.

Why he had done it, he didn't know. His current best friend/ stalker, Sakura (who received it from her across-state pen-pal, Hinu or something like that), had emailed him the website, saying that maybe he could get some of the hatred for his brother out of his system. God knew he needed it. So, why did he have to send it in? He had no obligation to those people! However, something in his heart told him to… something that had long been forgotten.

How long had it been since he had seen that blonde hair, the blue eyes, and the persona that was _his_ Naruto? How long had it been since he smelled the other boy? How long had it been… since he started hating himself? His brother? Seeing no use for these pointless questions, he started on his postcard.

Two weeks later, he saw it on the website. Staring back at him and making him wonder if he had, indeed, done the right thing. Only time could tell.

Looking at the cracks in the ceiling, he wondered if Naruto was looking at his postcard…

**End prologue**

Normally I don't like stories that have a prologue… But, I thought this story might require one! So, here it is. The prologue! Tell me what to do to make this story better.

Oh! Just so you know, if you go to my profile, and look in my deviant art account (kitsuneofstarz203 . deviant art . com), you will find all the postcards that go along with the story! Just something I thought might help while reading. You know, to be able to visualize the creations.

Well, please read and respond. Writers live for this!


	2. Part 2

Naruto – The Postsecret Chronicles

Ok, 1st **official** chapter is now up. Thank you for all your support. Review replies are below.

** With Naruto **

Naruto continued looking down the page of forbidden secrets that people were too afraid to tell anyone. Looking down, he realized that the people on the site were writing about the postcards they read. He sucked up his gut, and wrote a reply to the one postcard that intrigued him.

To: Frank frank docdel .com 

CC: --

BC: --

Message:

Frank,

This postcard spoke to me. Perhaps I know this person… Maybe not. Who's to say? I simply wish that whoever wrote this postcard is reading this. I want him (or her) to know how much this meant to me. It seemed as though I almost know them… Maybe I do?

Thank you for making me realize,

Naruto Uzumaki

Naruto smiled at the email he had just written. As unusual as it was to sign his own name, he felt as if he could trust the organization. Maybe he could, maybe not. He _felt_ that it was fine. With a steady hand, he clicked the "send" button.

** With Sasuke **

Sasuke was at school, listening to his teacher and his guardian lecture about the themes in Of Mice and Men. Somehow the story seemed to tug on his heartstrings. The thought of killing one's brother for killing another seemed to be how the book ended, the way he read it. To him, the story was indeed much like his own life. Only, his brother and he were not that close at all and they didn't have such a rough life. The bell rang. Mr. Hatake left, called by the principal about something. In all truth he could care less.

"Sasuke!" Sakura was running towards her friend, full speed.

"Oh. Hey, Sakura," came the ever-stoic reply.

"Sasuke, your postcard got published! Can you believe it? Though… Who is the one that you love? Don't tell me it's that pig!"

"No, don't worry Sakura…" _He's probably forgotten about me…_

"Well, if you say… Still, it seems like whoever it is must be lucky…"

"I highly doubt it…" Sasuke said with a sad look in his eyes.

"Whatever you say…" Sakura said, her eyes a little downcast, being turned away. Honestly, she loved him, he could show _some_ emotion!

"Oh! That reminds me! I packed you a lunch today… I figured you might want some. And Mom says that you and your…" Sakura trailed off, still not knowing what to call Kakashi and Sasuke's relationship. Even after all these years of living next to him, she still had no idea what to call them. She was afraid to call him Sasuke's dad, but guardian sounded too formal… This was something to ponder over, indeed.

"It's fine, Sakura. What time do you want us over?" he said, a little happy that he could eat with Sakura.

"Anytime's fine… Though, I think it will be ready around 6:30… Any earlier, and we might actually have to _talk_," she said, in a joking fashion.

"Do you want me to just go home with you?"

"No, I have a bit of homework, as well as writing to my pen-pal."

"Her _again_? I mean, what's so special about this Hinotsu girl?"

"Her name's Hinata! And it's important to me! She's very sweet, and I think we're going to meet sometime soon."

"Where does she live again?"

"Upstate, I think."

"Why didn't you just meet her sooner?"

"I didn't know her well enough… Still, I think I'd better get off! Need to make sure that pig isn't doing anything!" She handed Sasuke the lunch she made him, and off she went.

Left alone, Sasuke began eating.

**3 hours later**

Sasuke began on his seemingly endless pile of homework. Deciding to take a break, he decided to look at the Postsecret blog. He scrolled down the page, only now there was some text beneath his letter. He scanned it over with his eyes, not believing what he was reading. Making sure, he scanned the name signed once more.

_Naruto Uzumaki_

Not knowing what to do, he ran over to Sakura's.

"**Sakura**!" he bellowed, running into her kitchen.

"Oh, hello, Sasuke," her mother greeted him.

"Mrs. Haruno, where is Sakura?" he asked, a bit impatient.

"I think she's over at Ino's… Why?"

"I need to see her."

"You can stay here until she gets back. I think you'll save her from having to cook dinner with me." _Young love, young love. My Sakura's finally found someone!_

"Thank you."

Waiting around for a few more minutes, he heard the front door open.

"I'm home! Mom?"

"Sakura! Sasuke's here to see you!"

"Eh? About what?"

At this, Sasuke tore into the living room, at the speed of sound. He desperately needed to talk to someone about this. The excitement? Happiness? Worry? No matter the emotion, it was tearing him apart.

"Sakura, can you keep a secret?"

**With Naruto**

Naruto was at home, instant messaging Kiba, Hinata, Gaara, Temari, and Shikamaru. He wanted to bring up the website to Hinata, but he didn't quite get the chance.

ramenlurver00: Hinata, can I ask you something?

dog-boy13: She's not dating you.

lilac-beauty: I'd love to, but I'm afraid I just got a new letter from my pen-pal, Sakura…

ramenlurver00: No fair!

dog-boy13: It's like you two are obsessed with each other… No fair!

lilac-beauty: She's a good person, and it says here she wants to meet me someday…

-thisistroublesome-: how do you know she isn't some stalker?

-stopcomplaining-: I don't think there are any problems with it! Honestly, stop being so lazy.

-thisistroublesome-: I'll show you lazy!

-stopcomplaining-: Fine, show me what you've got big boy.

ramenlurver00: Erg! Not in front of us… . 

_-thisistroublesome- and –stopcomplaining- have left the chat room_

Dogboy13: I hope they use protection…

I don't want them to get E-pregnant and have E-babies…

XD

Racoonboy22: I'll kill him.

_Racoonboy22 has left the chat room_

Ramenlurver00: o.o

Dogboy13:agrees:

lilac-beauty: I should get writing… See you later?

dogboy13: You know it!

ramenlurver00: Sure!

_ramenlurver00, dogboy13, and lilac-beauty have left the chat room_

So, Naruto didn't exactly get to ask Hinata if she knew anything about the postcard. Luckily, his small mind was distracted as he heard the front door close.

"I'm home!" the familiar voice bellowed up the staircase.

"Iruka!" Naruto ran down the stairs.

"Hey, Naruto. How does ramen sound?"

"This early you're asking? What exactly happened?"

**With Sasuke**

As soon as Sasuke asked, Kakashi came in.

"Dinner's ready."

Sakura frowned as he left, but told Sasuke he could talk to her later. Sasuke clearly wasn't happy, but if he could manage keeping it in thus-far, he could hold it a little longer.

Little did Sasuke know that Kakashi would be saying something that meal that might change his life.

**End Chapter 1**

So, how did you all like it? Well, time to reply to reviews. You all are very much loved.

Sibbie: Thanks for reviewing! It was very much loved! It's so nice to hear from ye old friends…

BlackGravitation: You'll find out yet. D

Remedy for Chaos: I meant heart! Though, if Sasuke was hard, maybe (I'm such a bloody pervert)… Nah, I think I meant heart! Thanks for reviewing!

Kari No Tenshi: I'll italicize them. Formatting better? Thanks for the critique!

MsKeller: Thank you so much for reviewing! Though, I think longer chapters may work…

Ttt-katana: Thank you so much for reviewing! You have no idea how it feels to get back from a lunch break that was long over-due (5:00 at night… More like a dinner break, huh?), and see a review. I was sooo happy!

Louvieee: This soon enough for ya? Hope you enjoyed!

Alex's Little Duckling: Interesting idea… Hmm… I'll think about that, but that was not my original intention… Hmm…

To all reviewers: Your reviews made me so happy I added this chapter much sooner than I thought! Thank you, for being so kind!

And tell me who you want a lonely Lee with. I'm thinking Gaara, but I do like LeeSaku… What do you all think? I've decided there will be some Kakashi and Iruka loving in here, but there won't be a lot. I think I might write a side-ficlet for them. What do you all think?


	3. Part 3

Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

First of all, I'd like to say thank you so much to all my reviewers! I love your support more than anything else, and I couldn't keep updating like this if it weren't for you! Continue to review, and I will be a happy hamster-esque person.

I'd also like to point out that this will be updated every 1-3 days. I think you guys are owed to know the time-frame. It really depends on how much work I'm doing and stuff… And how lazy I'm being! … Remember, reviews make me less lazy! Now then, on with the story!

**With Naruto**

"So, Iruka, why'd you take me to my favorite restaurant? Is something up?"

Iruka was silent for a moment, before deciding to answer. "Well, I think I met someone today at work."

Naruto nodded his head, knowing that Iruka worked as the biology professor at his high-school. Luckily, Naruto was in the physics track. Iruka was a great guy, but too much of anything could drive a person crazy.

"Do you understand?"

"What? Is there a new kid at school? A new teacher?"

Iruka sighed, noting Naruto's naïve mind. "No… I mean, yes."

Naruto looked confused. All of a sudden his eyes widened in realization. "Oh! So… Who's the lucky lady?"

Iruka sighed, still a little frustrated. How could he explain what happened today?

_Earlier that day_

Iruka was walking through the hallways, a little nervous. He wasn't used to having to interview a teacher for science, let alone someone for a different science track! Darn the old teacher for moving away… If he ever finds Gai again, he will personally see to it that he would be in the hospital for weeks.

Visualizing how it was exactly that he would kill Gai, he didn't notice as he walked into someone. It was a little strange that this person was wearing a surgical mask, but he decided that nothing was wrong. _For all I know, it could be his allergies!_

"Oh! I'm sorry for running into you!"

Kakashi blinked once. He blinked again, not believing how beautiful the man he had run into was. _Must… not… drool…_

"It's okay, no harm done, right?"

"Um… Right!" Iruka smiled sheepishly.

_Dumb, but cute. I could get used to that face…_"Do you know where the biology room is? I'm supposed to meet someone there about a job here… The headmaster at my school thinks that I should change to this school, because you have a shortage on physics professors, and that was what I majored in."

"That would be me!"

Kakashi blinked once more.

"Do you have something in your eye? Are you alright?"

Kakashi smiled at how nice the teacher was. _I could **definitely** get used to that face._ "No, I'm just surprised that you're the one I have to talk to. I was almost sure it would be an old hag."

Iruka frowned at being called an old hag, but for once he let it slide. "Shall we go over your application?"

_You can go over my applications **any day.**_ (1) "Of course."

The rest of the interview continued, and as it continued, Iruka had the feeling that Kakashi was hitting on him. That is, unless touching hands and staring at their crotch was in the norm. Somehow, Iruka doubted this, seeing as how stoic the man was said to be on his recommendations. _A person that takes his job seriously…Really? _

After the interview, Iruka decided his application to be good. "Congrats. You got the job, but it needs to be approved first."

"How about dinner to celebrate?"

_Dinner? Oh, no! Naruto's probably starving!_ "I'd love to, but I have something else to do." Kakashi's face fell. "Maybe another time?"

"Yeah… another time…"

_End flashback_

Evidently, this was a bit of a strange meeting, but it did restore Iruka's belief in love at first sight.

"Iruka? You're spacing out on me! Tell me who it is! Is it Anko?" He shuddered, thinking about his psychotic gym teacher. "Please tell me it's not Anko."

"Don't worry, I wouldn't date Anko."

"Thank God! So, who is it?"

"He's going to start teaching at the school in about 3 months, around next term. I offered that he could stay with us, along with his adopted son, who's about your age."

Naruto happily slurped up his ramen, until he heard the words "along with his adopted son." "What? I can't stay with a guy! There's only one spare bedroom!" Then it dawned on his poor head. "Wait… he?"

Iruka blushed, and nodded. God help his poor soul. He couldn't have Naruto angry at him for this reason!

**With Sasuke**

Dinner went on as always. Mrs. Haruno's dinner was good, and it wasn't burned. Kakashi could burn anything if he so willed it. Sasuke shuddered, remembering the time his guardian had set fire to the kitchen while boiling water. After than day, Sakura made it a point to invite him over for dinner and always pack his lunch. Something about not wanting her friend burned to death. Still, anything was better than Kakashi's cooking, so he wasn't complaining. Kakashi was just happy to eat dinner that he didn't have to cook.

"Everyone, I have something to tell you," Kakashi got everyone's attention with the serious tone he used.

"What's up Kakashi?" Sakura asked with some concern in her voice.

"Well, you know how I had to leave the class, because of the headmaster?"

Everyone nodded, seemingly worried. _Was he fired?_

"Well, I'm being relocated."

Sasuke stared at him, and blinked. Sakura started to laugh.

"There's no way you'd be relocated! I mean, what school would take a pervert like you? Hah!"

"Sakura!" Her mother obviously did not take kindly to calling teachers perverts.

"No, I'm quite serious. The school in the north part of state took me in. I just got back from the interview."

"No! I don't want to leave!" Sasuke ran out, in a flash.

Kakashi sighed. "Please pass the potatoes."

**End Chapter**

This is an **actual** pickup I heard when applying for a job at Best Buy. I was talking to one of my co-workers, and the computer was crashing at his register, so I offered to go over the applications and processes of the computer… It ended up something like that. XD

Now then, what will happen? Will Iruka and Kakashi sleep together? What about Naruto and Sasuke? Are the potatoes poisoned? And what exactly will Sakura do, now that she's lost Sasuke? Well, I'll tell you this, Sakura's not letting go that easily. But how will she still see Sasuke? Oh, I love questioning my story… Though, now I have an idea of how I want this story to go. Yay!

Replies to my awesome reviewers:

Alchemist Neko-chan: This soon enough for you? I'm attempting to make these updates quick, like the _awesome_ story Roommates. Go read it. Now.

SwtTom0-chan93: Glad you like the site! I personally love it, so then I got to thinking when I saw this postcard with butterflies and it said "being fat doesn't bother me". I thought it sounded like Choji (his name means butterfly), and then, this came out of my mind! XD

Black Gravitation: I always seem to love your reviews… Thanks for reviewing! Hope the wait didn't have you too much off…

Chiyo: Oh my God! You reviewed! Thanksies so much, Chiyo-chan! Though, I'm expecting email from you… I want to have you and Nienna over soon!

Pic's Pixie: Love your u/n! Though, I've always been wary about the Neji and Gaara pairing… But, I could probably do something about it… I think I'll do a Lee/Saku unless everyone here wants a Lee/Gaara (Tell me!)

Kari no Tenshi: I do this because I love having my name shown to… Does make you feel special, huh? No problem! I love writing these, it just makes it that much better that others like it!

Hiroyukishinji: Well, now you know. XD Now, go wonder about potatoes!

Shinchan01: Hey you! I'm glad you like it! Continue reviewing!

Sweetmusic-01: Neither can I! (sweat-drop) I've thought through the plot, but I don't know how I'll end it or when. **Stop the madness!** XD

Sibbie: I love reading your mind. You know that I can do that. (wink) Don't worry, the chat wasn't something between anyone I know… Maybe Rose… Not sure, though! XD

Assassin: Of course it's not! Things would be too boring if it was. And I'm not much of a boring person. Too psychotic, you know?

Red Atari: Thanks for your support! It's loved!

To all reviewers: I loves you for reviewing! It makes me feel very warm and fuzzy on the inside. Now, off to an assembly to honor sports players… Merg…

… Well, read and review.


	4. Part 4

Postsecrets – The Naruto Chronicles

Wow… 32 reviews in 3 days. I love you guys so much! Thank you for your undying (I hope!) support. I love writing this, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside that you read this!

At the end there's a bit of a rant, so you don't have to read it, but if you want to get it over with, go on and read it… It's a little long though… nn;

**With Naruto**

After a silence, Naruto spoke. "So… You're gay?"

Iruka nodded his head, too afraid of Naruto blowing up in his face about this. He couldn't handle Naruto hating him.

"Why do you think it's that bad? Are you a homosexual with homophobic tendencies?" Naruto giggled at his own joke.

Iruka sighed in relief. "No… I was just scared that you might hate me for this."

"Why?"

"Well, he will be living with us."

"What?" Naruto remembered his guardian's words from earlier. "Oh, right. Still… I don't want to share my room."

Iruka sighed, looking back at his dinner.

**With Sasuke**

Sasuke ran home. He sat on his bed, in thought about something.

_Well, he did say he was switching schools…Still, where are we staying? _Sighing, Sasuke remembered. _Oh, that's right. He's probably hit on some poor, innocent guy to get a house. I feel sort of sorry for the bastard. Wonder if they've slept together yet…_Sasuke shuddered, not wanting to think about Kakashi in that way.

**With Kakashi**

"So… Kakashi, you're not teaching at my daughter's school anymore?" Mrs. Haruno said with some worry in her voice.

"Yep, that's the gist of it…"

"So, you and Sasuke won't be eating with us anymore?"

"Afraid not."

"Pray tell, what school are you two going to?"

"International school of sciences."

"Sakura has said something about that, isn't that right dear?"

"Hey! You're right! That's the school Hinata goes to!" Sakura was clearly excited.

"Hinata?" Kakashi was clearly confused.

"My pen-pal. She's supposed to go to school there, along with her boyfriend. She says her favorite teacher is some person named Iruka, and she constantly tells about what he's taught them in biology."

"Hmm…" Kakashi pondered.

"Is something the matter?"

"This 'Iruka'… I think I met him. Wait… yeah… I think I'm living with him until Sasuke and I can find a house of our own."

"Don't tell me you hit on him."

"What makes you think I would do something like that?"

The question hung in the air, in all of its stupidity. Even Mrs. Haruno knew about how Kakashi flirted with men. She pitied this 'Iruka'.

"What? I didn't use any pick-up lines or anything!"

Sakura and her mother both exchanged a look. _Kakashi not using a pick-up line? _That's impossible! As impossible as Mrs. Haruno poisoning the potatoes! As impossible as cows standing on 2 legs and talking! As impossible as… well, you could guess.

"That… is very unlike you… Kakashi," they said simultaneously, a little weirded out.

"Well, he's a nice person. I don't want to make his life hard," Kakashi was obviously blushing under the mask.

"And living with him, even though you want to molest him doesn't?" Sakura questioned.

"No. No it doesn't," Kakashi claimed, in an undignified manner.

Sakura sat up. "Hope you don't mind living with three other people."

"Three?"

"Iruka, Sasuke, and Naruto."

"Naruto?" Kakashi was evidently missing something.

"You know, Iruka's son?"

"Son?"

"Yeah… Hinata used to have such a crush on the kid! It was so cute!"

"Son…" Kakashi was still adapting to the idea that someone close to Sasuke's age would be living in the same house as he and Iruka. He could always tell Sasuke to screw off if he wanted to molest someone, but he couldn't do the same thing with another person's son. _Damn. I'll have to wait to molest him._

**With Naruto**

"So… what's going to happen with the room arrangements?" Naruto was a bit nervous. He didn't want Iruka to have sex with some random person, but he also didn't want to share a room.

"I was hoping that you could share a room with –" Iruka was cut off with Naruto.

"Aw, man… So mean!"

"Now, it may not be that bad. Who knows, you could get to be friends!"

"I still don't want to…" _Well, at least Iruka won't be molested._

**With Sasuke**

Kakashi walked into his home. "I'm home Sasuke."

"Welcome back." Sasuke still had the pout on his face.

Sighing as he sat down, Kakashi locked eyes with Sasuke. "Look, moving isn't that easy. I know that you don't want to leave your friends and whatnot, but could you do this for me?"

"Fine… Still, do you have any idea of the price of houses in the area?"

"A little." Kakashi grinned sheepishly.

"Yet you still want to move?"

"Well, it doesn't matter for the time being."

"What? Why?

"Well, we'll be living with someone."

"A guy you hit on? Please tell me it's not that guy at the high-school reunion," shuddering at the memory of Kakashi and his "rival". He remembered said rival was in that area. His son scared him.

"No. Not him. Never. Ew."

"Ok, then who?"

"A new person…" Kakashi trailed off.

"That's just great. Someone I don't know. I bet you used some lame pickup line to get him to let you stay."

"I assure you I didn't use any pick-up lines on him."

"You lie."

"I didn't say I didn't _think_ them."

"Great… just great. I'm going to live with a total stranger!"

**With Sakura**

Dear Hinata,

Today was wacko! I fought with my mom about calling my teacher a pervert, something was off about those potatoes she cooked, and my teacher and his son are switching schools! I can't believe it. Sasuke is moving! I mean, I could understand if it was just Kakashi… I mean, he could leave Sasuke here, right? **Please** back me up on this.

I just don't want to lose him. You know? I mean, he's really nice… And I've gotten used to him being there for dinner and whatnot. I mean, I'll miss him!

But there is a good part to the news! They're going to teach at your school! The best part? They'll be staying with your favorite teacher, Iruka! I know it sounds really weird, but it's true! Is Iruka always that much of a softie? I see why you like him! (Ha-ha)

Even better is that I'm helping them move into his house, so while I'm on break, you and I can hang out! Just name the time and place. I will be there (not like some weird-o super-hero). So, just mail me back! I can't wait to meet you…

Still, what is Iruka's son's name? I have a feeling Sasuke will be sharing a room with him… Unless if Kakashi's going to ravish your teacher on a nightly basis (something to warn him about), which is okay by me… Just make sure he knows how much of a pervert Kakashi is. And while you're at it, tell him **never** to let Kakashi near the stove. Ever. He set his own house on fire! Luckily my mom called the fire dept. before things got too bad…

Well, mom's calling… What a pain, huh? Well, hope to hear from you soon!

With kindness,

Sakura Haruno

Sakura got up from her desk, quite pleased with the letter she had just written, hoping that Sasuke would be living with good people. She didn't doubt Iruka's goodness; he seemed quite nice from what she heard. It was his son she worried about. Hinata often told her about his pranks and whatnot. She just hoped Sasuke wouldn't go insane.

**With Naruto**

Lying down in his own bed, he thought about how the rooms would turn out.

_Three months, and then I get a roommate. Well, this should be interesting._

**End Chapter**

Ok, well, I attempted to make this chapter a little longer… 4 ½ pages… I could probably write a little more, but… I think I left off in a fairly good place, right? That's my problem. I can never find a good place to end on…

Reviewer replies:

Chi no hana: Well, it **is** the teenage years… XD

Black Gravitation: Yes! The potatoes!

Alchemist Neko-chan: No problem! I love updating quickly to keep people interested!

Faerie-killer: I like how I made Sakura… I'm proud of you for posting! Have a cookie!

Suicidal Affair: Thank you! I do too, incidentally! XD

SwtTom0-chan93: You learn something new everyday.

Avila7989: Updating! Yes!

Kari no Tenshi: I don't know yet… But at least I know how to finish it! Decided that last night…

Shinchan01: Like I said, I have issues on where to leave it off… I'm so bad at that sort of thing!

Sibbielee113: Kakashi got transferred to the school where Iruka teaches. In short.

Sexyspoonswillruleusall: Maybe… Maybe… I leave you in suspense! Though, I do have secret cameras… Who's to say if they belong to Sakura or not? (evil grin)

**Rant**

I am sick and tired of people hating Sakura and using horrid Japanese! Sakura **can** be annoying, yes. I will admit to her being annoying at times! But I don't think that she'd be all evil and PMS-y for him being gay. That is not the case! I don't think she'd hate anyone for being gay. Honestly, she's a-ok, and I think she might be pissed. Hell, I'd be pissed, too, if the boy I had a crush on turned gay/ was gay! Still, I wouldn't be a moron about it! And don't get me wrong, fanfics that make her a nice person who immediately treats Sasuke like her freakin' best "girlfriend" sicken me too. Things _should_ be awkward for a while between Team 7! It's freaking _normal_ for people to be different around each other after something like that! Honestly!

Now, about the Japanese… I hate it when people say stuff like "kuso baka". People are always like "it means damn idiot!"! No. It doesn't. It literally means. "Shit! You idiot!" And they don't even bother punctuating it. So, it means "Shit idiot!" Wow… your non-existent studying of the Japanese language makes me want to hit a baby. If you are going to attempt a language, at least _study _it. Take _lessons_. You might actually learn something! It really pisses me off when people don't even _attempt_ at correction. Now, I will show you a crap selection of Japanese, then I will tell you want it means.

"Sasuke-teme, aishiteru."

"Dobe, watashi aishiteru anata."

"Sugoi!"

"Naruto-kun…"

"Teme…"

Ok, this is the best I can come up with for this. It literally means "Sasuke-bastard, I love you. Dead-last, I you loving. Wow! Naruto… Bastard…" Of course, people don't know that aishiteru is really truly loving. Something you will never hear, except between married couples. Not to mention how other people don't even bother with correct freaking _grammar_. It **should** be "Naruto-kun ga daisuki da." Meaning, they care a lot together, and he's being semi-nice/ teasing (usage, people, usage!) to Naruto.

**End rant**

Sorry, I needed to get that out. Well, review and stuff. And don't flame for the rant.

PS – Read my One-shot for sasusaku!


	5. Part 5

Postsecret Chronicles

_Disclaim: Not mine, except for plot. Please don't sue… I only have this here sock!_

**With Naruto**

**Beep! Beep! Beep!** The sound of an alarm clock rang out. A sleepy hand reached out to turn it off.

_3 days until whoever it is moves in_… Naruto was still dreading the day… He liked having a room to himself! And aside from that, this kid could be a total bastard! He did not like the idea _at all_.

"Naruto?" Iruka walked into Naruto's room.

"Yeah?" Naruto lifted his head up from his pillow.

"You aren't too angry about having to share a room, right?"

"Just a touch."

"I'll make it up to you once they move out. Anything you like."

"Anything?"

Iruka sighed, not liking where this was going. "Except committing a felony. That I don't think I could do."

Naruto pouted. "Fine…"

**With Sasuke**

Sasuke was not happy. Today was the day they were moving. He decided to sleep in for a _nice long_ time. And then he'd take a hot shower, taking his time. He _did not_ want to leave.

"Sasuke? Are you awake?" Sakura burst into his room.

"Mrph…"

"Come on, we need to get you moved in!" Sakura exclaimed.

_Well, I don't._ "Mrphhh…"

"Sasuke, come on! I have entrance exams to take!"

_What? _"Huh?"

"I'm going to attempt to get into your school's boarding program. Get up, you lazy butt! It's not my fault if you miss your ride there."

"Right." Somehow, knowing that _someone_ he cared about aside from his guardian would be there cheered him up. He was somewhat happy that she might be there. _God knows she can keep fan girls away… She normally scares them off for me…_

Getting out of the bed with a new appreciation for Sakura, he stalked towards his laptop. He was checking his email, when he remembered that he hadn't quite told Sakura about the reply to his postcard.

"Sakura, wait!"

"Huh? What is it Sasuke?" Sakura spun around relatively quickly, knocking a lamp over.

"What was that crash?" Kakashi walked into the room, a little worried. Upon seeing glass on the floor, he… laughed? "Clean that up, would you? I want to get there as soon as possible!" _I'm moving in with 'Ruka today! Yay!_ Giggling at his nickname for Iruka, he danced out of the room, with the all the grace of a monkey on crack.

"…" Sasuke couldn't quite find words to describe what he just saw. _That was…What exactly was that? I'm scared…_

"That was… awkward?" Sakura had some confusion in her voice as well. _I'm letting Sasuke live with this weirdo? _

"Get in the car, guys!" Kakashi's voice sounded from inside the car.

Sighing, Sasuke walked towards the car. _Evidently, fate doesn't want me to tell Sakura about the reply…_

**With Naruto**

"Are they coming today?" Naruto whined a little.

"Yes. Get back to cleaning," Iruka said, making his point by yelling over the vroom of the vacuum cleaner.

"Why do we have to clean or them? They're intruding on out life!"

"It's the nice thing to do, Naruto!"

Naruto got back to dusting. Today, Iruka seemed to be very strict. He wouldn't be surprised in the least if Iruka made him wear a suit to welcome these new guests to their home. Frowning, he continued his trek across the mantle. _Let's just hope that this guy isn't a total bastard. _He thought. What a surprise he was in for.

**With Sasuke**

"Sakura, I don't want to listen to classical music!" Sasuke exclaimed. He had somehow developed a hatred for Mozart that ran so deep, it made you wonder if he hated his brother less.

"I have to listen! It helps me focus!" She wasn't giving up on her plan to listen to Mozart _that_ easily.

"Why don't we listen to rock for half the ride, and Mozart the second?" Kakashi attempted to make a compromise. _I'll be damned if I show up to 'Ruka's house with a headache because of these two!_

"Fine…" Sakura said, disappointed.

"But I don't like classical!" Sasuke apparently wasn't willing to give up his Atreyu either.

"Sasuke, I'll put on rock first. We'll listen to yours, and then hers."

"But-!"

"Do you want this car driven into a ditch?" Kakashi would actually do it. Sasuke knew better.

"Fine… Put on 'The Curse'." He smirked, knowing it was Sakura's least favorite album.

Kakashi sighed; the music would kill him sooner or later. Why did Sasuke have to like metal? He supposed it was his karma coming back at him.

**With Naruto**

"Hinata? What are you doing here?" Naruto was surprised to see Hinata at his door-step.

"I'm here to help with any chores…" she said in her usual quiet voice.

"Take this!" He shoved the duster into Hinata's hands. "Could you also help with the kitchen?"

"S-sure," Hinata was a little over-whelmed.

"Ok, the fridge needs to be cleaned. Iruka's going _insane_ about the fridge being spotless. Surely, he won't get angry with you if he finds a speck of dust, right?"

"A-alright…" Hinata continued to blush.

"Good! I'll get to work on my room. Oh! Can I have the scrapings from the side of the fridge?"

Hinata, not one to question Naruto's strange demands, simply nodded her head.

**With Sasuke**

"Ok, we're here," Kakashi said, while pulling into the driveway of a semi-normal home. Given, there were some strange noises coming from inside of the house, but Kakashi wasn't one to question.

"For the millionth time, Naruto, don't steal the fridge scrapings! I'll be _damned_ if you're going to prank them!"

"Just try me!"

"P-please don't fight!"

Kakashi frowned.

"Ah, that must be Hinata," Sakura said, a hint of happiness in her voice.

After getting out 3 small suitcases, Kakashi stood at the front door. He thought about just barging in, to see Iruka covered in sweat, his clothes sticking to him… No! He would knock. That way, no refrigerator scrapings would fall on him! _Take that, refrigerator. Take that._ Without a second thought about it, he knocked twice.

Iruka ran to the door, about ready to kill any salesmen that may be coming at this time. He was _not_ in the mood. Not at all.

"What do you want?" Iruka opened the door, not even checking to see who in the world it was.

Kakashi blinked. He just got there, and already he was being yelled at? Maybe being with a total stranger wasn't the _best_ idea he'd ever had. "Umm… Sorry if we're early?"

Iruka, seeing who it was, went into panic mode. "Ah! Kakashi, I'm so sorry! You see, there's this one solicitor that is always here, and he…" Iruka trailed off, the awkward-ness of the moment getting to him.

"Well, if it's not too much trouble, could you let me in?"

"Ah! Of course!" Iruka said, still blushing. "Naruto! Get over here!"

Sasuke's eyes widened at the name. So did Sakura's. _Wasn't that the kid that wrote in the reply to Sasuke's letter? _

"But I don't _wanna._" Sasuke picked on the voice. It was indeed Naruto!

"Naruto…" Iruka was using his warning voice.

"Just hold on a second! Hinata needs my help with something!"

"Oh! Okay, then!"

Sasuke was upset that he couldn't see Naruto at this moment. _Oh well, I waited 10 years. I can wait a few more minutes. _

**A few minutes later**

_Only a few minutes… only a few minutes…_Sasuke was repeating the mantra to himself, almost holy in his mind.

"Iruka! Hinata got something on her shirt! I'm going to walk her home!"

"Fine! Be safe!"

"I will!"

Sasuke perked up his ears at this. That would mean Naruto would have to use the front door, right? _Come on… Front door… Front door…_A new mantra started.

Unfortunately, God appeared to like mocking Sasuke, as he heard a slam of a door that was definitely _not_ the front door.

_He'll be back soon… Soon… soon…_Sasuke started a new mantra, his foot beginning to twitch a little.

"It appears Sasuke's getting a little nervous," Kakashi commented to Iruka, when being asked what would be good for dinner.

"Ah! Do you want to see your room?"

"Sure." If Sasuke couldn't see Naruto, his room would suffice for the moment.

There was nothing too special about Naruto's room. There were two beds, a desk, and a computer. However, his calendar was, if anything, a bit trashy. Nonetheless, it was **Naruto's**! Sasuke was in heaven simply because of this fact.

Sakura stood in the doorway. "Ah, so this is the room Sasuke's going to be staying in?"

"Yes, this is Naruto's room."

"Hey, Iruka, will Hinata be coming back?"

"Probably, though, why do you ask?" Iruka seemed a little lost.

"I'm staying at her home tonight."

"I see… Are you two friends?"

"Pen-pals."

"Ah, yes. She and Naruto should be getting back soon." As if reading his mind, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, Iruka, is it alright if I eat with Hinata tonight?"_

"For the most part, I think… I'll be there to drop Sakura off."

"_Who?"_

"Sakura. Hinata's pen-pal."

"_Ah, Ok."_

"Good, I'll be there soon," Iruka said as he hung up the phone. "Sakura! Come on, I'm dropping you off at Hinata's."

"Alright, I'll be there in a minute!" She turned to Sasuke. "You'll be fine, right?"

"I'll be fine. Go." Sasuke nearly commanded her, but Sakura decided it was because of the long car ride that made him like this.

"I'll be back tomorrow to help you move in! See ya!" Sakura walked out of the room.

"Bye." Sasuke decided a nap would be quite nice. In a room that was Naruto's, he decided it was for the better. He could nap while waiting for Naruto. Sighing, he lay down on the bed, and fell asleep.

**Later that night**

Naruto sighed, walking into his room. Seeing a lump on his bed, his first thought was one of pure charity. _What the hell is someone else doing on **my** bed?_

But, since he wasn't in the mood for a fight, he lay down in the spare. _This is far from over._

Those words resonating in his head, he fell asleep.

**End Chapter**

Whoo hoo! A long(er) chapter! 6 ½ pages! Hooray!

A story about my reviews:

Ok, on Saturday I was talking to my friend in Nebraska, and she told me to send her an invite to g-mail. So, I opened up my mail. I open it up, and I saw a _whole_ page of reviews from I was just so happy that I saw all of these! I immediately told her about it, and she laughed really hard, but I just want you guys to know _how_ much I appreciate it. Once the story is over, I will make you all a cool picture that says "I reviewed Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles" on a postcard (XD)! Now… to reply to all you wonderful people!

Kari no Tenshi: I liked that line, too! It was so much fun to write!

Red Asatari: Indeed, though a simple "sumimasen" would have sufficed.

Suicidal Affair: Sorry, we'll have to wait a bit more! Just think about Sasuke's face when he wakes up next to Naruto, though! XD

Sexyspoonswillruleusall: Indeed! (nods in agreement) I'm sorry I didn't update as quickly as normal… I was busy with dance!

…toolazy: I'm glad you agree! (gives cookie to all that agree)

Black Gravitation: Keeping it up, keeping it up! Thanks for always reviewing!

Tashayar-chan: I'm glad about the promise! I have promise! Yes!

Muffin Ruler: It's fine! I'm trying to make them longer, but I always have a problem about where to end it…

Avila7989: Sorry about the wait! Hope you'll review again!

Sonicfanatic: Thank you so much for the review! I know how it is to have a culture stolen… Happens enough with all the fat Americans who claim to be Irish… None of them have a citizenship there! Merg!

SwtTom0-chan93: Little interaction between Sasuke and Naruto, but I think it's gotten better. At least they're moved in now! XD

Alchemist Neko-chan: Yes, with punctuation. But most don't use punctuation, so… Thanks for your review! It makes me want to have your babies (though, I think you be female, so there is a slight biological problem there… XD)

Well, please review! They make me a happy muffin-type person!


	6. Part 6

Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

_Disclaim: I don't own, you don't sue! Thanks!_

Before I get started on this chapter, I want you all to know that I was sad to only get 5 reviews… Still, I decided to put out this chapter regardless… Read and review (please review)!

**At 6:00 AM**

Sasuke woke up, the first beams of sunlight coming into the room. In his usual fashion, he stretched out his arms. All of a sudden he felt something wet on his bed. _Oh fuck… This is Naruto's bed! Must clean… Must clean!_

Of course, he stripped the bed of the sheets, as quietly as possible. Apparently the _smell_ of Naruto was too much. He looked in the other bed, only a tuff of blonde hair was sticking out, the breathing of the blanket blob rising up and down, in a steady fashion. Well, at least Naruto wouldn't wake up… Though, after last night's dream he was more desperate than ever to see Naruto.

_The Dream (lemon-y)_

_Sasuke was on his bed, when a blonde form made his way into the room. _

"_Sasuke?" the form spoke._

"_Yes Naruto?" Sasuke raised his head, surprised to see Naruto, the same as ever. Some features were more defined, most baby fat lost, but it was Naruto._

"_Take me now, Sasuke."_

(A/N: From here on out, it is quite graphic. You have been warned!)

_Sasuke leaned down to Naruto's face, caressing it ever so slightly. Starting at his lips, he worked his way down to the blonde's shirt. In one fluid motion, all of Naruto's clothes were off. Sasuke continued his journey downwards._

_Naruto continued moaning at the touches of it all. This just made Sasuke work faster. He just made it to Naruto's inner thigh, when all of a sudden Naruto pulled Sasuke head entirely onto his member._

_Sasuke wasn't complaining. It was fine if Naruto was pushing him to lick. He was more than happy to comply. Starting with some small licks, he continued his way down the member. Just as he had Naruto panting for it harder and faster, a light woke him up…_

**Back to the real world**

Sasuke sighed. If just _knowing_ the blonde was that close, he couldn't imagine what it would be like to actually _see_ the blonde. Nonetheless, he continued on his way to the room in which the washer was located. Unfortunately that room was the kitchen.

Unfortunately, his wonderful guardian was in said room. Sasuke simply dumped the sheets in the washer, and turned it on.

"So… Who's the pervert now?" Kakashi had that stupid grin on his face.

"Shut up." Sasuke was _not_in the mood to deal with this.

"So… the kid's good looking?"

"I haven't seen him yet." Sasuke was really starting to regret his trek to the washer.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. Really," Sasuke knew what Kakashi was thinking and was in no mood to deal with that. Luckily, at this time, Iruka was in the kitchen. Sasuke already liked the guy.

As if Iruka's being there was enough, Naruto decided to choose that moment to come down.

"Iruka! My bastard of a roommate **stole** my sheets and my bed last night! I can't believe him!" Naruto stopped as soon as he saw Sasuke. "Are you the bastard? I will seriously kill you!" Iruka had to literally hold Naruto back.

"Naruto! Be nice!"

"He stole my sheets!"

Sasuke was evidently disappointed. _How_ could Naruto not remember him? He _signed_ his name to the reply of the postcard! Maybe it was because he didn't know his name… Naruto looked different enough, with his slim body and sharp features. No doubt _that_ part was nice and long too…

A crash interrupted him from his thoughts. He noticed Kakashi had dropped the coffee pot.

"Hey, **Sasuke**, could you help me with this?" Kakashi put extra emphasis on Sasuke's name. Sasuke was a little happy that Kakashi could read his thoughts at times like this.

"So… Sasuke's your name?" Naruto asked.

"Y-yes." Sasuke was a blushing a little at this.

"What a weird name! I thought only ninja were named that!" Naruto was _laughing_ at him. _Laughing!_

_If my name's that strange, why couldn't he remember it? Just my luck… No one remembers me… _"Well, it's not worse than Naruto. Sounds like you were named after some noodle." _I could attempt to make him remember our old joke about ramen this way, right?_

"Of course! Ramen are the best! I am honored to be named after such a delicious noodle!"

_Well, he still likes ramen… This is **definitely** Naruto_. "Of course it is…"

"Sasuke, go on and eat breakfast. It's good." Kakashi was happy with the food Iruka made. Much better than his own.

Sasuke eyed the meal. "You didn't cook this, right?" He remembered that one time with the water… No chances were to be taken when it came to Kakashi and cooking.

"Nope! Iruka did!" Kakashi was smiling, as always.

With that, Sasuke sat down. A home-cooked meal sounded damn good. He only ate Mrs. Haruno's food at dinner. Never breakfast. He was growing to like this "Iruka" more and more.

**End Chapter**

Of course it's short! I only got a few reviews, to whom I will reply and give cookies.

Kari no Tenshi: I always look forward to your reviews! Thank you _so_ much for reviewing! As always, I continued… Even if it _is_ crazy short.

The Naja: Updated… Though, not as how I wanted… Please review!

Avila7989: Well, now they've seen each other, but Naruto, being the idiot he is, wasn't so remembering…

Tashayar-chan: Love your name! I'm glad it made you giggle… I giggle, too! XD

Cherry Daze: Updating…

Another reason this isn't longer (I'm not _that_ much of a bitch!), is because I have to memorize _this_:

w w w . p r i v a t e h a n d . c o m / f l a s h / e l e m e n t s . h t m l

Seriously, visit the page. You will see why time is taken out of my schedule to do so. Just remember to remove the spaces!

Now, there is evil-ness behind me (in the form of a debater!), and I must leave to type things for literary magazine… Oh, lord… I hate this more than anything.


	7. Part 7

Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

_I do not own Naruto. I am not making any money off of this. Don't sue._

**After Breakfast**

Sasuke was saddened that Naruto did not remember him. Was he really that forgettable? Could he ever be remembered? Or was Naruto just confused?

He was immediately pulled from these thoughts just as a very familiar female voice was heard.

"Sasuke, we need to get you unpacked!" Sakura was happy, getting to handle some of Sasuke's possessions. _Score for Sakura, 1. Score for Pig, 0. I rule!_

"Huh? Oh, right." Sasuke was clearly out of it.

Going out to the U-haul Kakashi had gotten, they all started pulling out random boxes, reading everything from silverware to "Kakashi's books". Of course, the books would probably be better labeled "pornography", but no one said anything. The fact that Kakashi had not molested Iruka yet was enough proof that he obviously cared about this man very much. Sakura decided her pervert teacher deserved a boyfriend. Even if she didn't know if said boyfriend was gay or not. Sasuke just liked the man because he cooked. And he didn't burn water. That was _definitely_ a plus.

By the time all the boxes were loaded out, Iruka had finished making more food. Sasuke was appalled. He was used to the 2 meals a day, one bought at a cafeteria, the other made by either Sakura's mother or some worker at a fast food restaurant. He mildly wondered if Iruka liked his men chubby… In which case, Kakashi was screwed. As lazy as Kakashi was, he was not vain enough to gain that much weight. Not deciding to delve into the matter any further, he bit down into the sandwich. _This man…he cooks too well to **not** be gay. No, he has to be._

After the meal was finished, everyone went back to their respective tasks. Sasuke to silverware, Sakura to things in Sasuke's room (Sasuke had no choice; he promised to do heavy lifting with Kakashi), Kakashi to any furniture and his books (his collection spanned at least 5 bookshelves; quite a selection for porn), Naruto to clothing, and Iruka to whatever remained. After all, the man was cooking wonderfully. No one was complaining.

**With Sakura**

Sakura was busying herself with carrying the things that were on Sasuke's bookshelf at his old home. She was walking up the stairs, then down a longer hallway, when she dropped a book. Deciding it would be a sin to leave one of Sasuke's belonging on the floor, she leaned over to pick it up. However, the title was quite the title.

"My innermost thoughts?" Sakura read the title to herself. She was most certainly concerned with the title. It sounded as though Sasuke was suicidal. She looked both ways, before dropping all the books to the floor, running into Sasuke's room. She shut and locked the door.

"Let's see what makes Sasuke tick…" She saw the "do not read" warning on the first page, written in crude writing, which she did not recognize as Sasuke's own. Frowning, she turned the page to see more of the crude writing.

_Saturday, January 17th, 1995_

_Today Mommy and Daddy took me to a new place with big brother! It was so much fun! Brother let me play with him for a long time, and he even allowed me to eat lunch with him! I hope for more days like this!_

_Sincerely,_

_Sasuke Uchiha_

Sakura could not believe what she was reading. She realized Sasuke was adopted, but she thought he was adopted at a young age, like most children. Yet, at this time, Sasuke must have been _at least_ six years old. Did he have a foster family? Sakura paid no mind to the old saying "Curiosity killed the cat." She decided, in her favor, "Satisfaction brought it back" was to be used as she read onwards.

_Tuesday, January 20th, 1995_

_Today Naruto and I played on the playground it was so much fun! I really did have a good time, because brother picked me up on time and everything. I got rice-balls for dinner, because Mommy wanted to make them. They were yummy_

_Sincerely, _

_Sasuke Uchiha_

Naruto…? Could it be the same one as here? Sakura had questions like this running through her head, she decided to skip a little. Maybe by reading further along she could learn something.

_Wednesday, July 20th, 1997_

_Today was the same as usual. I spied on Naruto in his seat. I'm not sure how I feel about him, but I think it may be something more than friendship…Still, Naruto kissed me on the cheek… I just wish he could understand what it means… Does he like me like that? I'm too nervous to make the first move. What if he rejects me, and we're never friends again? This is too much. At least brother is willing to play basketball with me! He says I'm getting better, everyday! _

_Sincerely,_

_Sasuke Uchiha_

Sakura's jaw literally dropped at this. At this time in reading, she was pretty sure it was the same Naruto, but now Sasuke loved him? _What the hell? I'm supposed to be Sasuke's girlfriend! _Deciding to read on, and see who exactly this "brother" person was, she flipped the pages a little, before finding one that had a few wet spots on it.

_This seems… Interesting? Was it raining when he wrote this?_ Sakura checked the lock on the door once more, before deciding to read some of the text on the page.

_August 21, 1997_

_I hate my brother. How could he? How could he do that? How?_

_The doctors all told me to keep up with the journal. They said it would help with the grief. Do they have any idea? Any idea of how it feels to have everyone you care about slaughtered in a mere moment? How it feels to be forced to watch this happen? How it feels to know someone you trusted so much do this? To have someone who made you so happy, someone who spent time with you even if they acted annoyed, someone who said they loved you trample your heart?_

_The doctors also said that the police were hard at work getting my brother into the court. They won't find anything. I know he flew the country after killing them… I know he's too smart to stay in the country before the news was spread. I know that._

_The doctors don't want anyone to see me… What they don't understand is that I need the one last person I care about here. Naruto… will we ever meet again?_

_They said I'd meet my new dad today. I hardly feel anyone could replace my own father. They don't understand. I don't want a new father! I don't! But, I'm not given any choice… Just tossed around like a rag doll, I suppose. Much like the dolls all the girls play with. I wonder if my mother ever played with dolls?_

_I will never forgive my brother. I will avenge my family. One day, I will find him. I will force him to death. And when he dies, I'll make sure everyone sees. I'll make sure everyone knows that I'm not a crying child anymore. I'll prove it. I am an avenger for my mother and father. _

_Sincerely,_

_Sasuke Uchiha_

Sakura looked up, feeling something wet sliding down her own cheek. His family was murdered? He was living with Kakashi by force? Did he regret not running away? Did he regret not being stronger? If so… did he regret meeting her?

Still crying, she put the book on the new desk Sasuke was going to share with Naruto. She thought about writing a note to him, but decided against it. _If he wanted me to know… He would have told me._

She was starting to question her feelings for Sasuke, when she heard a loud crash come from the kitchen. Standing up immediately, she ran towards the door, thrusting it open and running down the stairs. _Did Sasuke hurt himself?_

Running into the kitchen, she saw nothing. And then she heard a loud crash from the living room. She once again ran towards the crash. _I'll be damned if anything happens to Sasuke!_

**In the kitchen**

The front door banged open. Sasuke dropped what he was doing immediately. _Are robbers common here?_

"Naruto!" A loud voice resonated. Sasuke didn't want anyone near _his_ Naruto, so he followed the voice.

"Lee!" Naruto's heavenly voice was heard. "Help me with these goddamn clothes! I swear to God, they have more clothes than anyone I know!"

"Of course!"

At this, Sasuke ran into the room, poised to attack. He stopped after seeing a bowl-cut and fuzzy eyebrows. _Oh, God. No. Please, no!_ Unfortunately, he was not to be unnoticed. If he was to want anything at this moment, he would choose the amazing power of disappearance. Sadly, no super-powers were granted.

"Sasuke!" Lee noticed him, and bounded towards Sasuke.

Sasuke, being the genius he was, threw down a lamp and ran out of the room. It was just this moment Sakura decided to appear.

"What was that crash?" Sakura had some concern in her eyes. Then she saw a lamp. Immediately followed the _worst _eyebrows she had ever laid eyes on.

Lee blushed, seeing the girl in front of him. She was simply beautiful, her green eyes reminding him of the color he and his father's house was, along with the time of spring and seaweed, along other various things. "Would you go out with me?"

Sakura visibly paled, suddenly wishing for the exact same thing Sasuke had been wishing for only so short a time ago. _Please let me disappear…Or better yet, **smite me!**_

**With Sasuke, who had run out of the room**

"Kakashi! This place is _not _safe!" Sasuke ran into his guardian's room, in a panic.

"What do you mean? This area has a low crime-rate."

"Code green."

Kakashi visibly paled as well. And then came the cry from the door.

"_Iruka! How are you? Still in your ultimate youth?_" A visible ping was heard.

Exchanging glances, Kakashi and Sasuke agreed to lock the door. Sasuke from terror, and Kakashi from some unknown emotion. From the green tint of his skin, one could guess nausea.

**Once again with Sakura**

"No! I'm not going to be your girlfriend!" Sakura was not used to letting men down easy. Of course, Lee was a hard worker. He wouldn't give up that easily.

So he started to blow kisses at her.

"Nooo!" She dodged every single one of his kisses. Deciding to use the same tactic as Sasuke, she threw a table down, and ran out of the room, Lee following her. Leaving Naruto alone with a broken lamp and over-turned table.

All of a sudden, a _very_ angry biology teacher appeared. "Naruto… What happened to our living room?" He was attempting to remain calm. He was losing control. _Only two more years, one month, sixteen days, seven hours, five minutes, and thirty-six seconds until he's at college. _This somehow calmed him down.

"You see, Lee ran in here, and then…"

"Hello, Naruto!" Gai ran into the room.

"Hi, Gai."

"Naruto! Why is the living room destroyed?" Iruka still wasn't happy with his home.

"Like I said, Lee ran in here, and then…"

"Are you saying Lee would do such a thing as destroy a home?"

"No, not at all Gai! I mean, it _was_ partially his fault, but-" Naruto was once again interrupted.

"What do you mean, Naruto?"

"He ran in here, and-"

"We know that, Naruto. Continue." Gai did not understand the _basic_ concept of not interrupting.

Evidently, this was going to take a lot of time and patience.

**End Chapter**

So, how'd you like it? I introduced Lee and Gai's personas in! And Sasuke's past! And it's a long chapter! I spent nearly 2 hours thinking it through, so what do you guys think?

Well, time to respond to what you guys thought last chapter:

Kari no Tenshi: Of course I do! Your reviews are always so nice! I love them very much! I realize the chapter was short, so I added a lot more than usual to this chapter. Though, I think the story's moving a touch quickly… what do you think?

swtTom0-chan93: It's ok… and this is a Sasunaru, because I think that's the better pairing…Yummy Naruto-uke! XD

Tashayer-chan: Wow, your father? Same with mine, only mine ruined it by pointing out the screwed-up physics… (cries) Giggles… teehee… Giggles… So cute!

Avila7989: There is a reason, it just isn't revealed _quite_ yet… I'm too evil to do that!

Brokn Innocence: I'm glad you stumbled, too! And thanks for your compliment on Sakura! I think I did a pretty good job of her this chapter… Soon we will see her resenting Naruto! Don't worry, Sasuke will keep her in check! XD

BeutifulDisgrace246: For some reason, long reviews make me feel all warm on the inside… I think I'll answer all of your questions eventually!

Sibbie: I'm glad you still like it! And I'm probably suffering from some Japanese withdrawl, though my teacher's due date is nearing (two more weeks!). I can't wait to baby-sit the kid once I'm older! It will be so much fun! Hooray for Bulgarian babies!

Lunamaru: Thanks! I'm glad you guys are getting a "cute" vibe… Though, I included some drama in this chapter! Yay!

FXL: Yay! I'm on a favorites list! (does a happy dance)! Keep on reviewing! I'll be so happy if you do! (wink)

Naruke: Love the name (laughs)! Review more, yes… yes… XDD

Black Gravitation: Well, that means I must have some good writing skills, right? XDD

Sexyspoonswillruleusall: I hope I'm updating to meet your requirements!

Red Asatari: Like I said, it has a reason! It will shock and surprise you all (or maybe not… XD)

Well, review! I was so happy to get all these reviews this chapter! And look at the long chapter you got! It motivates me, I swear!

Random fact: Fruit bats are not really bats; they are flying foxes. And Elizabeth wants to have Cristian's babies (or Gaddhi's)… Just some things you hear over the course of a school day.


	8. Part 8

Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. Don't rub it in._

_NOTE: This chapter was written in a limited time-frame. Forgive for any short-ness._

**With Sasuke and Kakashi**

"Kakashi! Where are you?" Iruka's voice could be heard.

"Kakashi, should we be leaving yet?" Sasuke said in a hushed tone.

"I'm not moving until Gai is gone." Of course, Kakashi was very stubborn.

"Kakashi! Gai's gone! You can come out now!" Iruka's voice was once again heard.

"That's good. We can leave." As Sasuke moved to unlock the door, Kakashi held him back. "What is it now?"

"We can't trust him. Not if he doesn't know the secret word." Iruka started knocking on the door.

"Kakashi, get out here! I can't carry up your bookshelf!"

"What's the magic word?"

Outside the door, Iruka grimaced. "Please?"

"That is not the secret word," Kakashi stated very plainly.

"…" Iruka was obviously having to think this one through. "Salsa?"

Kakashi gave in and opened the door. "How did you know the word?" He was clearly stunned. Of course, Sasuke ran out, full speed.

"No more porn…" Sasuke was evidently disturbed about something. Kakashi looked at his retreating form.

Looking back at Iruka, he once again asked, "How did you know 'salsa' was the magic word?"

"I think you'd like spicy foods, and I remember Naruto's word is ramen. Therefore, I guessed yours was either 'enchilada' or 'salsa'. Then I thought about your love for those pornographic books, and I thought 'saucy'. And since salsa's a sauce…" Iruka trailed off, realizing Kakashi was staring at him. "A-are you upset?" Iruka didn't like people being upset with him.

"No… It's just… salsa!" With that, Kakashi ran downstairs in an attempt to hide his amazement from the other teacher.

"That was… strange," Iruka spoke to himself as he once again went down the stairs. These were going to be some strange months.

**With Sakura**

After Lee left, Sakura was ecstatic. She was never so happy to see someone leave! At least Ino didn't look as if she had mutant caterpillars crawl onto her face that died! Of course, Sasuke chose this moment to run into the room.

"Sakura… What are you doing in my room?" Sasuke was evidently confused.

"Ah! I got put in charge of organizing your books!" Sakura smiled at him.

"Of course. Would you mind going downstairs to ask Naruto for some help up here?"

"Are you sure? I could help you!" Sakura did not want _her_ Sasuke getting molested by that Naruto!

"I think Naruto could do a better job of it than you."

At this moment, Sakura's mind went into panic mode. _Are they sleeping together? No! I can't allow that! If only I knew how to seduce Sasuke…_ "I'm sure I could help with whatever it is!"

"Well, could you tell me where the hammer is, then? I want to hang up my wall-scroll and I don't think they want tape all over their walls."

Sakura paled. _A… hammer? I thought those things because of a… hammer. _"I'll go get Naruto."

"Thank you," Sasuke didn't quite understand why Sakura went from beet red to pale to sweaty. He suspected it was something that men just weren't made to understand. Thinking that, he simply went back to the task of putting up his books. He spotted his journal on the desk. _Was she just sorting books, or was she reading this?_ Deciding to trust his friend of six years, he put up the book.

**With Sakura**

"Naruto! Do you know where the hammer is?"

"The garage… Why?"

"Well, you see, Sasuke was planning to put up a wall-scroll."

"Not in my room! I hate the guy!" Naruto was about to run out, when Sakura finally realized something.

"Naruto… Do you hate Sasuke?" _That's so unfair! Sasuke feels so strongly about Naruto, and Naruto can't even return an **ounce** of that affection!_

"I don't _hate _him…" Sakura sighed, content with Naruto's reply, "But if he hangs that up in _my_ room, I will!"

Sakura once again paled, running after Naruto. _It's now my mission to get Naruto and Sasuke together! I mean, if Sasuke's gay (and I think he is…), I want to make sure he gets a little bit of love! Maybe that will make his meeting me less regrettable!_

"Naruto, wait!"

"What is it, Sakura?"

"Um… I don't know where to put what silverware! Could you help me out?"

"Umm… Ok?" Naruto was confused as to how _anyone_ could be confused with putting up silverware, but decided to put up with it and help her.

Of course, this way, Sasuke never got his hammer.

**Later that night**

Dinner was very silent, with Sasuke angry about the lack of hammer, Naruto confused about how _anyone_ could be confused with silverware, Iruka blushing for some unknown reason (Sasuke guessed it was seeing the expansive porn collection), Kakashi smiling for some unknown reason, and Sakura thinking about something. All of a sudden, Hinata showed up!

"Um… H-hello… Sakura, c-could you come home n-now? M-my father d-doesn't like me o-out pa-past dark…" Hinata managed to stutter though the silence.

"Sure! Umm… Yeah! See you later Sasuke, Naruto!"

"Hm," Sasuke's angst-y reply came.

"Bye." Naruto appeared to be distracted as well.

"Be safe!" Iruka was _so_ trying to hide something.

"Don't have unprotected sex." Leave it to Kakashi to give the useful advice.

**With Hinata**

"Oh Hinata! Could you tell me something?"

"W-what is it Sa-sakura?"

"Do you remember Sasuke?"

"I-I j-just met him… So y-yes?" Hinata was confused.

"When did Naruto move here then?"

"A few years a-ago… W-why do you a-ask?" Hinata was still confused.

"Did he _mention_ a kid named Sasuke?"

"H-he d-didn't talk at a-all, r-really…"

"Ah…" So there was a chance this was still _the _Naruto Sasuke was writing about.

"Of c-course, Naruto d-did write th-that po-postcard reply," she said, in almost a whisper.

"What postcard?" Sakura was interested.

"I-it was o-on p-postsecret…"

"Was it about a kid with a brother?" _I know Sasuke wrote in a card, but I didn't think that was his!_

"Y-yes. I th-think…"

"Oh my God! Hinata, I love you!" Sakura hugged her friend before dragging Hinata back to her home. "Come on, we have some plotting to do!"

"W-wait, Sakura! The entrance exam is tomorrow!" Poor Hinata, her voice was simply lost in Sakura's determined mind.

_I **will** make sure he's happy, even if it makes them miserable in the process! Yeah!_

**In Naruto's Bedroom**

As Sasuke made it into the room, Naruto ran past him, jumping on his bed. "Mine! Not yours! Mine!"

Sasuke simply sat down on his bed, tired from moving around heavy objects, spoke slowly. "I know, moron. Now let's get some sleep in. I'm beat"

"Hey! Who are you calling a moron!" Naruto was apparently offended.

"You… Moron."

"Mrg!" Naruto decided this would be a great moment to tackle Sasuke.

Of course, Sasuke didn't block, being so tired. Of course, Naruto jumped head first. Of course, this resulted in their lips touching. And, of course, Kakashi picked that moment to walk in. As soon as he walked in, the two boys shot away from each other, Naruto rubbing his lips with his hand, and Sasuke sitting there, blushing.

"Honestly, Sasuke, you've only known him two days. Don't rush these things, and if you must… wear a condom." Kakashi began to exit the room, before turning around and saying, "And Naruto, pillows are good noise blockers. Just because you and Sasuke want to engage in this tiring activity, doesn't mean Iruka and myself want to be kept up by it." With that final bit of advice, he left the room.

"That never happened," Naruto stated matter-of-factly, before turning around and going to sleep.

"Right…" Sasuke simply lay there, touching his lips, before letting sleep take him.

**End Chapter**

Once again, I'm sorry about the short-ness! I had to cut it short, because I have very little time to complete this (about 10 minutes), so I'm going to go on and respond to all reviews (they made me feel so great!)!

Kari no Tenshi: Lee remembers Sasuke from a high-school reunion with Kakashi. Gai and Lee were there, of course. They just happen to live in the area (to the un-hope of Sasuke and Kakashi)!

Blue-genjutsu: Oh, he will… He will… (is evil and likes to prolong things to keep people reading).

BD246: Sorry I abbreviated your name! Your review made me giggle… Teehee!

moonlitStarDestiny: XDDD I will _have_ to tell her about that! Your review made me laugh simply because of that!

Avila7989: He'll get it… soon, soon… I think! XD

Narutomania: (in robot-y voice) I will continue. I will update soon. XD

Brokn Innocence: I'm glad it made you laugh! I always break out laughing while writing these, much to the disturbance of those around me!

Black Gravitation: You aren't a parrot (at least, I hope not o.o)! But… just in case… (gives crackers)

Sibbie: I had to do that! It was necessary! XDD

Stormy Weasel: I love your username… Teehee… weasel…

Sonic Fanatic: That **can** be evil… UPDATING, YO!

Sexyspoonswillruleusall: Yeah… I added the code green in an attempt to make it slightly humorous… Though, I think it failed miserably…

Chimericle: Next installment here! Next one coming soon, and it involves a fruit bat, a shovel, and Super Teacher Squad! Or, some future ones… Fruit bats and shovels are _definitely _being used…

Chi no Hana: Yes he will! After all, with Sakura plotting nothing can go wrong… right?

Midnight Shining Star: Updating! Believe it!

Well, continue to send in those lovely reviews that make me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside! Really, they do!


	9. Part 9

Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

_Disclaim: I don't own anything but the simple plot-line. Though, I will admit that the latest update in Postsecrets had a postcard that sounded like "Roommates". Go check it out!_

School. Naruto never did like it. Of course, when you're going to school in order to escape the person you're rooming with, school was indeed a wonderful thing.

However, when you find out said person was in your first period class, you learn that school is simply a mindless torture device made by adults in an attempt to get back at you for blowing up their front lawns. Honestly, adults were so immature.

The teacher walked in. "Good morning, class. I'm your homeroom teacher. Name's Anko. Headache occurring. Drank too much last night. I'll be taking a nap. Don't talk."

Sasuke stared in disbelief. This person had a _hangover_ on the first day back? A _hangover_? Even Kakashi knew enough not to get drunk the _day_ before school.

"Psst, Sasuke!" Sakura was staring back at him. She'd passed her entrance exams, and was currently sitting right in between Sasuke and Hinata. Hinata was too busy fretting over her teacher's condition, mumbling something about tea, when she spoke to Sasuke.

"What, Sakura?" Sasuke asked.

"Sasuke, Hinata and I have lunch D period. Could we eat together?"

"Nope, I have lunch E class."

A groan was heard from the desk next to Sasuke.

"Do you have a hangover?" Sakura immediately jumped to conclusions. Of course Naruto didn't drink! Well… at least not before school started.

"No… Just lunch with the bastard." Naruto kindly nodded his head in the direction of Sakura. Sasuke seemed rather pleased. Then, a scooting of a chair was heard.

"Do not worry, Sakura! I will sit with you!" Sasuke immediately turned towards Naruto and started to ignore Lee. _If I ignore it, it will go away… If I ignore it… it **will** go away._

"Lee, don't bother…" Sakura was obviously _thrilled_ with the idea of sitting with the boy that had a crush on her.

"But, my dearest-!" Lee protested.

"Go away!"

With a sad look on his face, Lee scooted off into a setting sun. Why the sun was setting in the morning, no one knew. Then again, in a classroom where the teacher has a hangover, nearly anything is possible.

By the time everyone had finished talking, the bell rang.

"See you later, Sasuke!" Sakura waved at Sasuke.

Sasuke just tilted his head, as if to say "I heard you and I don't care."

**Next Class**

"Naruto… what are you wearing?" Sasuke was disturbed by Naruto's get-up. Some shades and some form of heavy coat. A spy would be a vision to appear in one's head, until one realized the sunglasses were orange and said jacket was red and really poof-y.

"Sasuke! Stop stalking me!" Naruto was evidently annoyed behind some shades. He didn't want people to know, but he was taking a home economy class. And here he thought the jacket and glasses were the perfect disguise!

"Idiot, I have this class too."

Naruto stared. He stared some more.

"Can't get enough of me?" Sasuke teased. After all, he was in a semi-good mood; after all, he was going to eat lunch with Naruto.

"No way! I'm in no way queer! Even if my dad is!" Naruto stuck his nose up in the air before walking into the classroom.

_Remember, Sasuke, he doesn't mean it. He will fall for you… He will._ Sasuke was attempting to convince himself that Naruto _would_ fall in love with him and that he _would_ not regret it. No more precious people were going to be ripped from his life. With that thought, Sasuke also walked into the classroom.

"Get at a desk, with another student. Come on, hurry up," the teacher said. He had scars all over his face, and evidently was pretty serious. Of course, the pink apron was a bit tacky against the rough skin and tough scars, but who was going to question the guy? He was over six feet tall, and evidently did not enjoy any bullshit in his class.

Naruto practically ran to the station at the back of the class. He would be damned if he was going to stand close to _that_ apron! Everyone else hesitantly made their way to the seats, Sasuke deciding to sit next to Naruto.

"Ok, class. Whoever you sat with is now your partner," the teacher started. "I will be your teacher, Ibiki. Welcome to Home Economics. Here you will learn to confront terrors of life. For those who thought this would be an easy 'A', get out now."

Naruto groaned, practically sliding down in his seat. He was _hoping_ for an easy class, but apparently that would be _too_ easy. Of course Ibiki had to teach it.

**Lunch-time with Sakura and Hinata**

Sakura had already started to make friends with the other girls at the school, having known Ino. Just because she and Ino didn't get along didn't mean they weren't friends. They were best friends. And now that she was at a new school, Sakura decided to be like Ino. Of course, she knew how to make friends. But, Ino just happened to have that air about her.

Then again, it might have been the fact that she had saved the other girls from Lee's eyebrows. But, Sakura _liked_ to think it was because of her charm.

"So… Sakura, why did you want to sit with us? And what's that red binder?" Temari asked. Temari was evidently the older sister of a guy with a crush on Lee. Sakura felt sort of sorry for Temari and her little brother.

"I wanted to ask you all for help on my mission!" Sakura beamed at them.

"Umm… Wh-what is the mission?" Hinata asked in a confused manner. Everyone else simply stared at Sakura.

"We need to get Sasuke and Naruto together!" Sakura grinned like the cat that swallowed the canary.

"And… how would you do that?" Temari was evidently thinking it over. _Sounds interesting… And since Lee likes her, maybe she could help make my brother a little less psycho…Then Shikamaru and I can have some "quality" time…Still, I have no idea how she'll pull it off… Still a good after-school activity._

"Sakura, I have to agree with Temari… Naruto does not appear to like Sasuke much, let alone love him," Hinata spoke quietly and meaningfully.

"_That_, my friend is where this binder comes in!" Sakura stated, holding up her red binder, almost worshipping it. Everyone else stared at her.

"Um… Sakura, I don't think school supplies will help us here." Tenten decided to speak against the silence. People were starting to stare at the scene.

"No! It's what's _in_ the binder!" Sakura exclaimed, slightly offended.

"So… What's in the binder?" Temari asked.

"Sasuke's inner-most thoughts!"

"…" Sakura was greeted with silence. After all, how would anyone know the guy's inner thoughts?

"What?"

"Sakura… How do you know these things?" Temari asked, starting to think Sakura was a bit of a crackpot, and might have no clue about what she was talking about.

"I read his journal, but don't tell him." The rest just stared at her, again. She read the sexy Sasuke's journal! And she was telling mere _mortals_ like them? Was the girl insane? Or was she telling the truth?

"Sakura, there is _no way_ you could have gotten your hands on Sasuke's journal! Just no way!" Temari was clearly surprised. The rest simply nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

"I'm serious!"

"Yeah… Right," Temari was losing interest, causing the other girls to lose interest.

"Look, I got it while helping him move into Naruto's house!"

"And you would have helped him move in because…" Tenten simply let the phrase sit there in mid-air, as if it was something totally insignificant.

"Sh-she's telling the truth!" Hinata stood up for Sakura. "Sh-she knew Sas-sasuke from his old home… Th-they were n-neighbors."

"Well, I guess that might make a little sense," Tenten stated, re-doing one of her buns as she said it. "Still, I find it hard to believe."

"It's the truth!"

"Of course it is, sweetie… Of course it is." Temari apparently sympathized with the poor girl.

"Well, if you aren't going to help me, I might as well do it by myself!"

"We never said we weren't going to help… We always _could_ spare _some_ time to this," Temari said, still a little interested. "But, only if you help _me_ with something."

Of course, Sakura agreed. How little she knew this promise could affect her… And the rest of the story.

**Lunch-time with Sasuke and Naruto**

"Dog-face! Over here!" Naruto called out to Kiba. The fact he had first met Naruto while his dog was with him earned him the nick-name.

"Hey! Naruto! What's up?" Kiba looked up from his food, apparently interested in the fact that Naruto had someone with him. The fact that Kiba didn't know the kid made it even more interesting.

"Nothing much, you?" Naruto said, sitting down. Sasuke sat down next to him.

"Who _are_ you?" Kiba asked.

"Sasuke," came the short reply. Sasuke was not in the mood to give long replies. He practically had to run to keep up with Naruto, and he would be damned if he were to lose sight of the blonde idiot.

"Ah… Naruto, who is he?" Kiba asked once more, hoping to get a more lengthy answer out of the blonde.

"My stalker. Feel free to kill him. In fact, please do kill him." Naruto also appeared to be worn from walking so quickly, in an attempt to get away from Sasuke.

"Of course…" Kiba said, slowly backing away.

With that, they continued to eat their lunch in an uncomfortable silence. When the bell rang to get back to class, they all silently thanked every deity known to man-kind.

**With Kiba, while walking to his class**

Kiba turned around, having felt his shirt being tugged on. He wasn't too surprised when he saw Hinata, but when he heard what she said… Well, shocked would be an understatement.

"Kiba… C-could you h-help Sa-sakura get Na-naruto-kun and Sa-sauke-san together… please?" Hinata was obviously being serious. It was very odd to hear his girlfriend speak in her family's main tongue, even if it _was_ only suffixes on the names.

"Why?" Kiba asked, evidently worried about Hinata. She was very flustered and evidently was having a sweating problem.

"Um… Y-you do-don't h-have t-t-to… I-if you do-don't w-want…" Hinata said, about ready to cry.

"Hey, hey, I didn't say I wouldn't help!" Kiba always _was_ a sucker for a girl in distress.

"R-really?"

"Really. I'll help. Just tell me what to do."

"G-get online t-tonight, p-please…" Hinata said, before walking away.

"What did I just get myself into?" Kiba wondered to himself, before walking towards his next class. Little did he know that he had just started a trek that may ultimately destroy his sanity… and perhaps involve a few costumes.

**End Chapter**

(cries) I am **so** sorry that it took me so long to come out with this chapter! My school work was piled up, and my teachers have been telling me my options next year, and some weren't very nice, so my dad was angry because of my econ grade, and… WAH! I was going insane! But, it's out now! And it's long(ish)! Now, to reply to all reviewers… And for those who have reviewed faithfully, feel free to request art. In fact, DEMAND that I draw! I'm currently attempting to do some new art… And tell me if I should start a doujin on this story! I need some work drawing romance, and I think this could help me with kissing and (sex) scenes. What do you think?

Iyfanatic: Well, where I live, it's nearly a sin to visit someone when they're moving in/ have new people moving in unless if you are _really_ close. I mean like sister-ly or lover close! And it was set near the end of vacation, so school just started! Hope that cleared some things up for you…

FMA-lover16: He might find out… Or not… I'm so evil! D

Akabaka: Oh my Buddha! A worshipper! (throws candy) Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!

swtTom0-chan93: I know, I know… It's ok… It's ok… That's one of the reasons I didn't update, actually! I couldn't log in to write when I had time. XP So sorry for the long wait!

FXL: You went through all that… to review? (is touched) I loves you! (gives a whole batch of cookies)

iNUYASHAS-only-lover-KAGoME: Yay! I'm hilarious!

blue-genjustsu: Glad you like it!

Narutomania: He took part in the chat; he'll be there… Believe it (datte bayo)!

Kari no Tenshi: Of course it's funny… Salsa **is** salsa after all… (nods) As for the whole Sakura thing, I think it was because she realized that Naruto didn't feel that way about Sasuke, and she knew how Sasuke felt… Besides, she has followers now! And a new costume (should be revealed soon).

Ok, guys! My review hopes for this chapter is to get at least 100 reviews! If I can, I will write a crazy long chapter, and perhaps run around the school 5 times!

Needless to say, I want you guys to review! Come on, come on! I know you want to! XD


	10. Part 10

**Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles**

_I don't own Naruto; all I do is use the characters. No profit is gained, except my happiness._

The school-day had just ended, and Sasuke was following (or according to Naruto, 'stalking') Naruto home. Naruto was annoyed beyond all reason. After all, Sasuke was in _all_ of his classes, followed him at lunch, and he had a suspicion that everyone always walked away when they saw the two together!

"Sasuke, stop following me." Naruto stopped in his tracks.

"Why?" Sasuke asked, some malice in his voice. He_ knew_ that he was annoying Naruto, but he also didn't want anything bad to happen to him.

"Because you've ruined my life! I don't have any friends! They avoid me, thanks to you! _Go away!_" Naruto screamed at Sasuke.

Sasuke pulled back, about ready to die. Then he heard a voice.

"_Sasuke…"_ Sasuke just stood there. "_Sasuke…_" Sasuke felt himself being pulled away.

"**Sasuke!**" With that, Sasuke sat up, seeing Naruto looming over him. He did the first thing that came to mind. He jumped onto Naruto and began hugging him.

"Arg! Why did you just jump me! Get off!" Naruto yelled, all the while attempting to get Sasuke off.

"I thought I told you _no_ sex in public places, Sasuke…"

"Kakashi!" Naruto screamed. "Help me! Rape! Rape!"

"Sasuke, don't rape Naruto… I don't think anyone wants to see that…" Kakashi said. Of course, he wasn't focusing on the fan-girls that _might_ want to see some XXX from Naruto and Sasuke. As well as some _fan-boys_.

With that, Sasuke flung Naruto across the room, causing him to slam into a desk. Naruto hit his head and it began to trickle red. Everyone in the room was silent before a moment before Naruto started to feel his head.

And then he promptly fainted. No one ever said Naruto liked blood. Indeed, Iruka walked into the room, in an attempt to remind Kakashi that being late to teach physics wasn't a good thing. Then he saw Naruto fainted, with blood dripping out of his head. Now Iruka was panicking. Sasuke was sitting there, frozen with terror. No more blood… no more blood… no more… no more…

With that, Kakashi picked up Naruto and carried him to the infirmary. Sasuke simply followed. Iruka was trailing them, asking what happened. And Naruto was still bleeding.

**With Sakura**

Sakura was sitting down, with the other people whom she had managed to trick into getting Sasuke and Naruto together. Among them were Lee, Gaara, Temari, Kiba, Hinata, Tenten, and (by some miracle) Neji. Of course, Temari was going to ask Shikamaru about joining into the group, but he was sick that day. Temari simply said that she would email Shikamaru with the plans, and then he would join in on the plans. Now, this being their first meeting, there were some issues to deal with.

"Ok, as your self-appointed leader, I want to say thanks for coming. Now, who has _any _clue about how to get those two together?"

Kiba raised his hand. "Why don't we send both of them flowers from the other?"

"That's a stupid idea," Neji said. "It may come up in conversation at one point."

"Fine! Let's see you think of something better!" Kiba yelled, displeased his idea wasn't liked.

"I know!" Lee raised his hand. Everyone's eyes turned towards him.

"Well?" Gaara spoke for once.

"We could have Sasuke save Naruto from a purple manatee! Nothing says 'I love you!' more than a purple manatee saving!" Lee did his nice-guy pose, and seemed to be quite serious.

"… Lee?" Sakura was looking at him through her fingers, which she had spread over her eyes.

"Yes, my hopeful girlfriend, the great Sakura?"

Sakura shuddered at the name, but continued anyways. "That… is even _stupider_ than Kiba's idea. No, I think stupid isn't quite a good word for it… _Insane_ seems to fit better."

"Wait a moment Sakura," Neji spoke. "He _might_ be on to something, here…"

Sakura stared. _Everyone I work with is going insane! _

"Think about it… No questions would be asked by either of them, and it would be a conversation starter at the dinner when they eat together."

"Neji _is_ right, Sakura," Tenten said. _Maybe he'll like me better if I begin to agree with him more. _

"Ok, fine. Let's say it _is_ a brilliant plan. Well, where in the world are we going to get a _manatee_ suit, much less a purple one?" Everyone looked at her. "Oh, no. I live in the dorms! I can't sew anything!"

"P-perhaps I c-could sew th-the c-costume…" Hinata said.

"Ok. Now, who is enough of an _idiot _to even _think_ about wearing the manatee suit?" Sakura asked, about ready to die from the stupidity around her.

"Purple manatee, Miss Sakura," Lee corrected.

"Oh, _purple_ manatee suit. Forgive me," Sakura said as she rolled her eyes.

"I would." Gaara raised his hand. Everyone stared.

Temari looked at her brother. He must really be serious about Lee! "Um… Gaara? I don't think you'd cause much fear in the hearts of others in a manatee-"

"_Purple_ manatee," Lee corrected.

"_Purple_ manatee suit. I don't think it'd work with you. And shouldn't there be two? If Sasuke only beat up one manatee, I don't think Naruto would be very impressed," Temari finished. Besides, she wanted to see Shikamaru suffer. He would wear the purple manatee suit. "I'll volunteer Shikamaru to wear the manatee suit."

"Ok…" Sakura said, stunned that people _actually_ wanted to see people in manatee suits. Somehow she felt this was more about personal amusement more than anything else. But, it was just a hint.

"I'll wear the other," Kiba said. If his plan wasn't good enough, he at least wanted to do _something_.

"Ok… what _is_ the other suit?"

"A pink ostrich, Miss Sakura." Lee didn't seem to want to sway from his answer.

"_Right._" Today was an odd day for Sakura. She was coordinating the rainbow-colored zoo animals. With her luck, Lee would be living close to her dorm. She shuddered at the mere thought of that. _No… The dorms wouldn't like that! … Would they?_

"Ok… Hinata will sew the suits tonight and Neji could you help her?" Tenten asked.

Neji shook his head. "Remember? I'm living in the dorms. Hinata's father thought it would be best."

"I see… What room?" Having not known the dorm-mates until after the first day of classes was tradition. People were simply told to drop off their things the day before classes, have a nice dinner with their families, and come to school with fresh food from home. It was practically _tradition_.

"I'm in flat 146, with two roommates. You?" Neji was willing to give off some information for Tenten. After all, she _was_ cute.

"In flat 147, with two roommates! Seems like we're neighbors!"

Sakura jumped into the conversation, "Yes! We can _so_ get some more planning in with this!"

"Of course, Miss Sakura! It would appear as if I have the same room as Neji, so we are now neighbors!" Lee grinned at Sakura.

For Sakura, it appeared as though her world had just exploded. _Great… A whole year next to Lee… Can a female live that close to radioactive eyebrows?_

**With Kakashi and Iruka**

Naruto was still knocked out, but the doctor had notified them it was no big deal. He was knocked out from the shock of feeling blood. According to the doctor, it happened quite often.

"Just remember to let him get some rest, he probably has a minor concussion," the doctor reminded them as the group left. Sasuke couldn't take his eyes off the peacefully slumbering Naruto, held in Kakashi's arms. The bleeding was nearly stilled.

"Thank god it wasn't anything too major…" Iruka said, with a certain emphasis on the word "too". The worry was still evident in his voice, but it seemed to have calmed down from the initial time he had seen Naruto. Kakashi's cheek still hurt from where Iruka had slapped him, by accident. In truth, Kakashi felt he deserved it. After all, it _was_ partially his fault that Sasuke shoved Naruto at him with such strength. He'd have to remember to talk to Sasuke about that later.

Sasuke was still staring at Naruto, feeling absolutely horrible that he had done these things to Naruto. He noted the bandage on Naruto's head was still white on the outside, meaning the bleeding had stopped. That was good.

Naruto started to move around a little in his sleep, causing Kakashi to stop dead in his tracks. Was he waking up?

Apparently not. He simply clung to Kakashi's white, now red in some places, shirt a little tighter. Iruka seemed to still be a little off, but he was glad Naruto was still the same old person. He did have a tendency to cling to things in his sleep.

Sasuke realized that this settled Iruka a little, and he was grateful for that. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if Naruto was dreaming…

**In dream-world**

Naruto was standing on his own, in a pitch-black background. There was some liquid on the floor, and whenever he stepped, he was sure to hear the dripping noise.

Step. _Drip._ Step. _Drip._

The pattern was awkward, but Naruto felt he must keep moving forwards. Something, or someone, was following him. He quickened his pace a little.

Step. _Drip._ Step. _Drip._

All of a sudden, he felt something grasp his waist.

_Drip. Drip._

He attempted to scream, but heard nothing. He attempted to fight, but he couldn't move. All he could do was listen to the steady drip of the liquid surrounding him.

_Drip. _Pause. _Drip._

The person behind him had a mask on. The mask was white, with tears printed on him. Naruto saw something move. The freak was moving his arm to pull something out!

_Drip. Drip._

Naruto had once heard if you died in your dream, you'd die in real life. That's why you always woke up before hitting the ground if you were falling. He couldn't die, not in this freak world!

_Drip. Drip._

The masked figure pulled out a piece of paper. Naruto took the paper, having gained some strength back into his arms. He looked at it.

_I haven't spoken to you in years, since my brother killed my soul… I wish I told you I loved you back then._

Naruto immediately recognized the postcard. He turned to the now retreating figure of the masked figure.

"What the hell is this supposed to tell me?" Naruto screamed at the retreating figure.

_Drip. Drip._

Suddenly, a crash was heard. Naruto spun around to see a shattered mirror with a young boy's face upon it. Wait a moment… He recognized this boy! But… from where?

_Drip. Drip._

The boy spoke. "I haven't spoken to you in years, since my brother killed my soul… I wish I told you I loved you back then."

_Drip. Drip._

Naruto gaped. The same words written on the postcard. But… Why would this boy be saying them?

_Drip. Drip._

All of a sudden, Naruto heard more dripping behind him. He spun around to see Sasuke in a mirror that reflected the younger boy. Suddenly, Naruto realized.

_Drip. Drip._

"S-Sasuke?" Naruto was clearly confused.

_Drip. Drip._

"Why don't you remember me? Why? Was it too much to ask that you return the feelings?" Sasuke shed some tears. It was then Naruto realized what the dripping sound he had heard all along was.

_Drip. Drip._

Now both Sasuke and his reflection were crying. Naruto spun around to see this. He was so confused! The little boy looked similar. Then, another crash was heard. Another dripping noise was added.

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

Naruto faced himself. Or rather, a child version of himself, who walked into the younger Sasuke's cracked mirror and brought Sasuke over to his mirror, which wasn't cracked, and was glowing.

_Drip. _

The younger Naruto and Sasuke had stopped crying. Their mirror began to recede, as Naruto looked at this. Why was it he was remembering things before… the incident?

_Drip._

Memories flooded Naruto's mind, just as Sasuke's tears had flooded this dream world. Naruto clung to his postcard, as he knelt on his knees. Memories of shared ice-cream, happy families, and chocolate chip cookies flooded his memory. All of them flooded his memory.

_Drip._

Couldn't the dripping noise just stop? Couldn't it just halt altogether? Why wouldn't he stop crying?

_Drip._

It was then Naruto realized what he must do. He pulled the older Sasuke from the mirror, and hugged him.

The dripping stopped, and Naruto woke up in his bed.

"Was I supposed to remember?" Naruto spoke to his ceiling as he turned to Sasuke's empty bed. A bird outside his window chirped happily, singing its merry tune.

**With Iruka and Kakashi**

Sasuke had just gone off to bed, and Kakashi and Iruka were sitting on the couch, both sitting on opposite ends. Because Iruka had slapped Kakashi, Kakashi was starting to wonder if Iruka hated him, and he couldn't stand that. Iruka was worried that Kakashi hated him for slapping him.

"Well… I'm off to bed. All the excitement from today has me dead beat!" Kakashi waved towards Iruka.

"Wait! Kakashi!" Iruka called out to Kakashi.

"Yes?" Kakashi asked, turning around with hopeful eyes.

"Would you like some coffee or something? Y-you know, to talk over?" Iruka asked, stuttering a little.

"Of course I would," Kakashi responded with a smile on his face.

While drinking, they talked about their first days teaching. Kakashi had a good day, while Iruka was still dealing with some prankster students.

"Well, it's 11, and I don't want you to get too angry with your students tomorrow. I'll go to bed and allow you to get some rest in," Kakashi said, happy that Iruka didn't hate him.

"Wait!" Iruka once again called out to his new friend, not wanting him to leave.

"Yes?" For the second time that night, Kakashi turned around to see Iruka nervous once more.

"Um… Well, today scared me a lot… Would you be willing to share my bed?" By this point, Iruka was beet red, and didn't care, if it meant Kakashi didn't hate him. Kakashi talked to him, sure, but couldn't you do that with people you totally hated?

"I'd be delighted," Kakashi smiled through the surgical mask he always wore. Perhaps… perhaps he could just show Iruka what was under his mask. Just Iruka.

That night, as they lay next to each other, Iruka sighed. He was so happy that Kakashi was willing to share a bed with him when he needed it. Maybe it was time he finally settled down with one person. Maybe it was time to start trusting people with his heart.

Looking upon Kakashi's face, Iruka realized he did care for the man. Even if he had yet to see his whole face, he realized he didn't care. He simply wanted to be with Kakashi.

Kakashi lay there, not aware Iruka was looking at him. After giving it thought, he realized he wouldn't mind things being like this for eternity. Him and Iruka lying in peace, without a care of the world. Just him and Iruka.

With those thoughts, they both drifted into a peaceful sleep.

**End Chapter**

Well, I added some drama in this chapter! How'd you like it? Did I do a good job with it? Tell me what you think! I _crave_ to know what you think! And speaking of what you think… I'd like to thank each and everyone for reviewing, not just meeting what I hoped for, but _totally_ surpassing it! I was so happy, I ran 3 miles with my mom! And I'm not kidding (is actually serious)! Thank you so much, you guys make the writing experience worth so much! Now to reply to your wonderful-ness!

Muffin Ruler: Screamed in joy? Yay! I made someone happy! (does happy dance) So… it was really that good?

Midnight Shining Star: Updated! I hope you like it!

Avila7989: Mwahaha! You will find out yet. You will find out yet.

iNUYASHAS-only-lover-KAGoME: Well, 10 chapters. I think he might torture Sasuke a little more, though!

Kari no Tenshi: I ran 3 miles! Do I _really_ have to run around the village, too? Fine… But not on my hands! I have _no_ sense of inner balance! Thanks for reviewing, though! It always makes me feel special when you review, because you're so awesome! Reviewing all my stories and whatnot! Thanks so much for reading!

Suicidal Affair: It _is_ the smex! Of course I'd love it! XD

Meisme: Review more often! It makes me feel so good whenever you review! I love it so much!

moonlitStarDestiny: Love you review! Love your review! Love your review!

Brokn Innocence: Fai! Sorry… Wheet-woo just tickles me pink… And perhaps a touch of purple to honor the manatee! Hope your questions were all answered in this _awesome_ chapter!

Sonicfanatic: Glad I've captivated your interest this long! It makes me feel like a special-type person!

Iyfanatic: Of course they are! He _is_ Naruto after all!

FXL: It may, and it may not. I actually have a plan, though! I think you'll laugh (at least, I'm hoping)!

Loverspastforgotten: I don't know… I want to finish this story soon, so that if (SPOILER) Sasuke ends up not coming back, I can say it was because I didn't know. (END SPOILER) – w – I can hope, right?

BeaitufulDisgrace246: Don't freak out! You all are my 100th reviewers in my heart! I should start off on my doujin, I guess… It would be fun! Though, I think I'll draw a sample pic and post it next chapter! What say you?

Mangaluvr: I think it's more funny than fun, but… Think what you want! Though I was really tempted to make Gaara a panda.

Blue-genjutsu: I hope I'll find time! I think I'll draw backstage during my 8+ dance requirements this weekend… I think I'm going to die this weekend… O.o

swtTom0-chan93: I'm not dead yet, and I'm sorta hoping it won't happen soon… XD

black'nred: He may show up later or not… That's an undecided detail.

Black Gravitation: At least you are reviewing! Thanks for making writing so much better!

Sasuke2006: Funny with drama is what I'm going for, but somehow it ends up as crack…

Naruke: Fan? … I have a fan? (shiny eyed expression) Thank you so much!

Sibbie: Thanks for talking to me about the digestive system, even if I fell asleep! It's friends like you that make my day… Well, make my day funnier?

Next chapter: there will be some scenes including the _awesome_ news class Sasuke and Naruto are in and what they'll be doing! It will be close to what my school does, and I don't mean any offense to my school. I just think it would be something fun to do! XD

Well, read and respond! Tell me what you think! And put it as bluntly as you feel! I can't read minds about what my reviewers want, after all!


	11. Part 11

**Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles**

_Disclaimer: I don't own, even if Kakashi **is** the sex._

The next morning was a strange one in the Umino household. It was very strange, indeed.

You see, Naruto wasn't sure how to handle the situation with Sasuke. He knew his dream meant something, and he remembered everything before the incident. He didn't think he could imagine that. Still, it wasn't everyday you have homosexual tendencies towards your roommate. Naruto just pondered this while he nibbled on his toast with strawberry jam. You could tell he was thinking, as he did _not_ like strawberry jam.

Sasuke was in an awkward position. He didn't want to see Naruto after hurting him. He was lucky Kakashi let him take his room the night before… Sasuke really couldn't bear to see Naruto hurt. So, Sasuke got up and left early.

Kakashi woke up with a little problem. It didn't help that Iruka's arm was laid over him, or that he had a certain dream involving this person. It also didn't help that Iruka kept snuggling closer and closer! Honestly, was he a snuggle bear or something? Well, he hoped that nick-name would never come about. So, shuddering as he did so, he got out of bed and ran (quite literally) to the shower. He would need a nice, _cold_ shower after waking up next to Iruka.

Iruka was having an odd morning because he was confused as to _why_ Kakashi left him in the bed alone. Did Kakashi not like him? Was he really that unbearable to sleep with? A little upset that he was _that_ bad, he got up to make breakfast, only to find Naruto nibbling on some toast with strawberry jam. Something was amiss. After all, Naruto did _not_ like strawberry jam.

"Naruto, is something wrong?" Iruka walked over to Naruto, who still appeared to be off in his own dream world.

"Hm? Oh… Um… No." Naruto frowned, biting into the jam once more.

"Are you sure?"

"Uh… sure." Naruto never was a good liar, Iruka could see something was indeed the matter.

"Naruto, it would be easier to talk this over. If we do this now, we may not have to deal with Sasuke," Iruka said, hoping that a mention of Sasuke not being there would cheer Naruto up. Of course, this just plunged Naruto even deeper into thought.

"Iruka, is it weird to have a dream?" Naruto asked, still nibbling on the jam. Iruka was now wondering if Naruto was sick. After all, Naruto was always the one talking about dreams.

"Naruto, are you feeling alright?" Iruka raised his own hand onto the forehead of Naruto's. Naruto didn't _feel_ warm.

"I'm serious! I wanna know!"

"Well… to my knowledge you're the one always talking about dreams." Iruka was thoroughly confused.

"Not like those dreams! I mean the dreams you have at night!" Naruto was getting frustrated. He loved Iruka and all, but Iruka could be a dunce at times.

"Oh! Well, what about them?"

"Well, I had a dream last night… It was really strange," Naruto said nervously.

"Strange how?" Iruka asked, more concerned than before. He always wanted Naruto to be alright. After all, Naruto's _real_ father did save his life. He owed something to that.

"I had a dream… It was before the," Naruto paused in speech, almost as though the next word was a sin to be unspoken, "… incident."

Iruka all of a sudden pulled out a chair and sat near Naruto, truly concerned. The doctors had always said these things would never come back! The memories were blocked out by trauma, they said. They said the trauma would always be there, and it may not be better to remind him. "What were you dreaming, Naruto?" Iruka gulped, slightly worried about what the answer might be.

Then, a taller figure walked into the room. It was Kakashi. Iruka did not want to worry Kakashi about Naruto's emotional problems, so he simply mouthed to Naruto, "We'll talk later."

Kakashi looked at the two of them. "Ah, Naruto! I didn't know you liked strawberry jam! I'll have to get some later." With that, Kakashi walked out.

"Why would he think I liked strawberry jam?" Naruto asked, taking another bite of his toast. "Yuck! Who the hell made this?"

**At school**

Naruto would attempt to seek out Sasuke, but it appeared as though Sasuke was _avoiding_ him. _Why in the world would Sasuke avoid me?_ Naruto thought. _Just yesterday he was stalking me! This doesn't make any sense!_ The bell rang for lunch, and the students filed out.

Naruto frantically was looking for Sasuke, when a manatee popped out at him. This wouldn't be out of the normal, only… Well, this certain manatee was purple and accompanied by Big Bird. The manatee then whispered something along the lines of "troublesome".

"What… in… God's… name?" Naruto stared. The two creatures stood still for a moment. Then… it happened.

Naruto started to run away from these creatures, when he ran right into Sasuke. Though, the situation soon turned into 'He ran onto Sasuke'. You see, Naruto knocked the pretty boy over, and they were nose to nose.

Until the ostrich ran onto Naruto's back in an attempt to catch Naruto, forcing Naruto's lips onto Sasuke's. The ostrich immediately ran off, scared of some death glares coming from random ostrich-haters.

As soon as the weight was brought off of Naruto, he pulled up for air.

"What the hell was that all about, moron?" Sasuke looked at Naruto for an explanation. Was the idiot attempting to make a fool of him, or did he mean it? Well… at least the idiot's blood was back, otherwise the pretty blush would not be adorning his face at the moment.

"A pink bird was chasing me! A really big bird!" Naruto screamed.

Sasuke looked both ways. There was no pink bird. What in the world was Naruto talking about? "Naruto… Did the bump hurt your brain to the point of hallucinating?"

"No! There was this big pink bird! And there was a purple manatee!"

Sasuke paused, as if in thought. "Was there a pretty green unicorn too?" Two could play at this game.

"No! Just the big bird and manatee!" Naruto exclaimed, with a serious face.

"Ah, I see."

"You better see! Bastard!" Naruto stormed off.

**Somewhere else on campus**

"Sakura, the plan was a success. They kissed, even!" Lee was jubilant that his plan had actually worked!

"Really?" Sakura was surprised that a stupid plan that involved ostriches would work. "Well… That's nice?"

"Would you be my girlfriend?" Lee attempted his line once more. Maybe she was in a good mood with him.

"Lee, your eyebrows are too bushy."

"Oh." Lee walked away defeated.

**On the walk home**

Sasuke and Naruto were walking home, not saying a word. It was awkward enough to have to walk together after the kiss.

"So… Naruto…" Sasuke decided to break the silence.

"Um… yeah?" Naruto had never been in this situation before. Then again, not many people were in the position of walking next to a childhood crush who liked you and you didn't remember and you just now kissed after being reunited. Maybe it was normal to be a little weirded out.

"Could we not mention the… kiss to Kakashi?" Sasuke was blushing at this point. It was hard to put things like this bluntly.

"Why would I? It was embarrassing for me too, bastard!" Naruto picked up his pace, walking ahead of Sasuke.

Sasuke stayed behind Naruto, not wanting to catch up. Apparently he was serious about the big pink bird, and Sasuke made a fool of himself asking about green unicorns. He made sure to ask Iruka if Naruto always hallucinated.

**At the dorms of DOOM**

The dorms of DOOM earned their name well. They were well known for "building character". Of course, to the founder of the school "building character" meant that people _least_ likely to get along would be put into a room together, or the people were next-door neighbors. It was nearly a tradition for the cops to be called in near the end of the year, due to the tension caused between neighbors and roommates. Often they'd room a pervert with a prude, such as the instance in 2000, when a gun was fired into someone's arm. After that, porn was banned from the campus. Of course, some students (and one new teacher) fought for the right to read porn. The headmaster was currently reviewing it, in all sincerity possible. The new teacher was threatening to leave if he didn't get his "diplomatic rights" to read trash in public.

Getting back to the dorms, Sakura, Temari, and Tenten were all roommates. For the most part, they got along. But, there were those times when they _didn't_ get along. Like the time Tenten was throwing knives. That was indeed a moment to prove the females were "building character". Or maybe the time that Temari had fans blowing air through the flat. All of their homework was swallowed by the windows. "Building character" was held with high regard.

The next door over, it would appear more character was being built. You see, Kiba was rooming with Lee and Neji. One would assume Kiba and Lee would get along, but in truth, Kiba made fun of Lee. Neji thought they were both much too loud. Lee hated Neji, and Kiba thought he was a bastard.

One might wonder why Kiba hated Neji. No, it wasn't quite because he was Hinata's boyfriend or his horrid body odor at times. The dog he kept wasn't that bad (given it made a point to always poop on Neji's side of the flat)! No, it was the porn. You see, one evening Kiba was looking at porn. Neji heard him giggling like an insane maniac. Neji got curious. Neji looked at the magazine. Neji saw pictures of Hinata doing things. Many things. Neji stole the magazine and flushed it down the toilet, page by page.

Luckily, they got along with their neighbors! Well, except that one time Kiba made a pass at Temari, and her 'creepy' brothers attacked him, along with Shikamaru. And that time Tenten nearly hit Neji with a knife when she was throwing them. She did hit Lee, and he was in the infirmary all night, along with Sakura. Sakura didn't want to, but no one else would.

That night was different, though. It was party time! After all, Sasuke and Naruto had kissed! Everyone involved in Plan: Kangaroo was invited, and for once only a few fights happened.

"Sakura," Lee mumbled. "Be my girlfriend!"

"Of course, Lee!" Sakura exclaimed, clearly drunk. Someone had spiked the drinks (some suspected Temari, but there was no evidence).

Gaara stood there, sad that his love was going after Sakura. He didn't like the girl one bit.

"Gaara, talk to him! For God's sake, he could like you a ton!" Temari whispered harshly to her brother. "And if not, he's drunk. Have 'im for one night, huh?" She giggled and ran into a room with Shikamaru.

Sighing, Gaara walked over to Lee. He didn't want a one night stand, but maybe, just maybe, he could get Lee to say something.

"Lee?"

"Mr. Ostrich?" Lee squinted his eyes, looking at the red blob in front of him.

"No, it's me, Gaara," Gaara said, insulted that he was called an ostrich. He wanted to be a manatee.

"Righteous! Groovy raccoon man!" Lee said, in a horrible Austin Powers imitation.

"Right… See you later." Gaara quickly ran away. He'd be damned if he was to confess his love to Lee, while Lee was Austin Powers, and he was a raccoon.

**At the Umino household**

Sasuke was sitting at the table, minding his own business, when Iruka walked in.

"So, how was your day, Sasuke?" Iruka smiled at Sasuke.

"Hn."

"Did you find anything new or interesting?"

"Hn."

"Did Naruto say anything to you?"

"Something about a pink ostrich and a purple manatee."

"Right," Iruka slowly backed away from Sasuke. He turned to the counter to begin chopping vegetables for a dinner. He heard the door open once more, and he turned to see Kakashi, whose hair was an odd periwinkle color.

"Kaka…shi?" Iruka could not believe his eyes. First purple manatees and now periwinkle hair?

"Don't… ask."

Sasuke looked up from his book to see Kakashi. Sasuke slowly walked out of the room, up the stairs, and into his room. A door slam was heard, followed by a 'what the hell, you bastard, I was getting dressed!', followed by a thud, then a 'do you need a tissue? Your nose is bleeding a lot!'. Iruka stood, looking at Kakashi.

"Can I ask?"

"No." The reply came quickly, and terse.

"Will I ever find out?"

"No."

With that, Iruka finished chopping the vegetables. Some things may be better not to ask.

"I got attacked by a purple manatee."

Iruka stared at Kakashi. Were Kakashi and Sasuke playing some joke on him? Then again, with Kakashi's hair dyed purple, the joke could be on anyone.

"That's odd. Sasuke was just saying something about a purple manatee."

"Was he?"

"Well, he said Naruto saw a purple manatee."

"Where?" Kakashi asked, grabbing Iruka's shoulders.

"I have no clue."

"Damn it! I need answers!" With that, Kakashi ran up the stairs into Naruto's room, where he saw Naruto shirtless, and holding something up to Sasuke's nose.

"Oh, I'm sorry I walked in. Remember to use protection!" Kakashi ran out, very quickly, only to run back in. "Where did you see the manatee, Naruto?"

"In the cafeteria."

"I see, I see…" With those words, Kakashi ran out once more.

Downstairs, Iruka was sitting at the table, sipping some drink while he waited for the dinner to finish. "Kakashi, where are you going?"

"Going to buy hair-dye."

"You aren't going to kill the manatee?"

"What do you take me for, a psycho?" Kakashi ran out the front door, to get hair-dye. He ran back in a few moments later. "Do you want anything?"

Iruka shook his head. "Just come back in one piece."

"Will do." With that, Kakashi was off once more.

Iruka stood up slowly, and walked over to check on the dinner. He slowly went to go sit back down. Then he laughed long and hard. After all, it would be cruel to laugh at a man whose hair was periwinkle. At least, while the man was still in the room.

**Later that night**

Kakashi's hair was back to its normal color, Iruka made a good dinner, and Sasuke's nose stopped bleeding. Still, Iruka had not talked to Naruto, and he had a sneaking suspicion that something was up between Naruto and Sasuke.

Naruto was happily going upstairs to sleep (Sasuke in tow), when a phone rang in the kitchen.

"Hello?" Iruka picked up the phone.

"Hello, is Kakashi there? He'd better be!" the woman on the other line did not sound happy.

"Um…" Iruka looked to Kakashi, who was shaking his hands wildly. He obviously did not want the phone call. "No."

"Well, that's just great!" the woman was screeching into Iruka's ear. "He must be out drinking, while you keep care of the home! Damn him!"

"Ma'm, what do you mean?" Iruka was attempting to remain calm.

"My daughter was caught at a party with liquor! Drunk!"

"I'm sorry to hear that, Mrs…?"

"Haruno."

"Then, you are Sakura's mother?"

"Yes. Are you a teacher at that school?"

"Well, that's what I get paid for," Iruka was speaking as to not upset the woman.

"I would hope so! She's just so out of hand! I mean, she was fine at home, but now she's gone insane!"

"I can assure you she's quite the bright student. Why she would consider drinking is beyond me…" Iruka was hoping to save Sakura's hide.

"Do these things happen often at that dorm?"

"Not often, no."

"Not often? I'm making her leave that school!"

"Wait! Um… She could stay with Kakashi, so a more careful eye could be kept on her!" Iruka knew Gai was… Gai because he was rejected by women. He would _not_ let Lee be the same. Lee had hope! Sakura could help!

"In a home with 2 unmarried men, and 2 teenage boys? I think not!" Sakura's mother was a force to be reckoned with.

"Please don't remove her from the school! She is such a brilliant student!" Iruka once again attempted to make Sakura's mother realize that he _really_ wanted Sakura to stay at the school.

"I realize that, but if drinking continues…"

"I can assure you that the school will be tough on them!"

"That's not enough! She was going to _sleep_ with a boy!"

Iruka's eyes widened. "What was the boy's name?"

"Rock Lee!"

Iruka cursed under his breath. "I see… Well, don't take her out! I'm certain the school will take appropriate action!"

"I demand they start a program to show the dangers of it!"

"Drinking?"

"No, sex!"

"Oh. Um… You got a deal!" Iruka agreed. Anything to keep another Gai out of the world would be done. _Anything_.

"Alright. I plan to hear about it."

Iruka hung up the phone, sighing. Kakashi looked at him. "What did you just do?"

"I think there is going to be a sex education class soon."

"I'll bring my porn!" Kakashi ran upstairs, grinning under his mask.

"Like hell you will!" Iruka followed him, as sleep fell upon the Umino household.

**End Chapter**

I'm so sorry I didn't update! I was sick, schoolwork was killing me, and on top of all that, I had dance recitals all weekend. Luckily, I only have strep, and I am feeling slightly better, school work is finished (except for lit…), and dance recitals are over!

Only, now I have those finals coming up… XP I realize I may not make it, but if I do, I will die happy knowing you all loved my chapters I have thus-written.

Also, a special thanks to Scottish wish, for she is the awesome. She is beta-reading for me, so you guys won't have to put up with any grammar/ spelling mistakes. So, remember to thank her as well. Now to reply to other people I thank!

Blue-gejutsu: Of course he remembered! Read above, silly! XD

Midnight Shining Star: Glad you liked it! I meant for it to be like-able! Though, I think it might have been a little angst-y… nn;

Muffin Ruler: So many happy dances! It makes me want to do some of my old hip-hop classes!

BeuitifulDisgrace246: Sorry that I don't have a doujin yet… Though I have begun on some of my ideas for character designs! Yay!

Red Asatari: Yep, yep! Doesn't that make you happy?

Imari-chan: It's ok! I think that in the future I should make my statements a bit more clear… He sends a post-card into this site called "Postsecrets", which is a site I have been _obsessed_ with for so long, so I wrote a fanfiction sorta/ kinda based on it!

swtTom0-chan93: He did remember, and he did take it seriously, just as I take some of my dreams seriously! But… as you see above, nothing's easy on these two!

Moonlitstardestiny: Really? Wow! I will keep an eye on the site and see what it says!

Avila7989: I hope this update gets to all of you!

Ky0Kitchi: Love the name! Glad you like it, I like it as well! w

Narutomania: Hope you got my message… If not, tell me and I'll send it via email! Hooray! A second fan! (does happy dance, combined with a reel step)

iNUYASHAS-only lover-KAGoME: Glad you looked at the site! I think it is awesome!

Scottish Wish: I cannot thank you enough! I'm also glad someone else knows the second part… Not may people do!

Suicidal Affair: A manatee is this fat sea-cow thing (sorta like a whale, but more like a hippo)… They're going extinct, but I think they're so cute! I remember loving them as a little kid, so I decided to add a purple one! XD

Sasuke2006: Naruto was the one hit up-top the head, and thou is worried about Sasuke? I find that hilarious! I enjoyed writing the Kakashi/Iruka scene, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!

Tea: Tea! Tee-hee! I had to make her a likable character, or I'd never have a sexy purple manatee! Hmm… Manatee and Tee-hee rhyme… O.o

Herrliche Lilie: If Lee wasn't weird, would he be Lee? I am very glad you like it! (does plain light jig) What? I'm practicing for an upcoming feis (Irish dance competition)!

Mangaluvr: I was hoping I did well with the Kakairu moments… After all, it was my first yaoi pairing that I read! So, I love it!

FXL: Updating… now! MWAHAHAHA!

Kari no Tenshi: Indeed, you are awesome! I ran three miles because my mom's training for a marathon, and I walk/ jog with her. Last night my insane friend came with us! It was quite funny! Yes… be inspired for fanart… BE INSPIRED! XD

Sonicfanatic: Yay! My story's not dumb/ cliché! And I was hoping that would be the case! (does happy dance)

Black Gravitation: Unfortunately, the hot guy ran away. He doesn't like my "boyfriend" (guy that everyone thinks I'm dating, but I don't think I am… I think (?))! So… send more! I loved him while he lasted (sigh). And, I don't know about truckin', but I'll keep on writing!

Naruke: Sorta like those signs that say "don't feed the rhinos", I think I'll feed my fans with a sign that says "feed your fans"! I'll be sure to put it up in my room, and see it every morning! Yay!

LadywolfTerri: He will, but… well, Naruto wouldn't be _that_ easy to get, now would he? (insert crack-ish smile here)

Everything is TROUBLESOME: I think my explanations are in the review replies for each chapter… So, keep reviewing for me, ok?

Luna-chan14: Thanks for your review! Please keep reviewing, and I'll keep on updating.

Sibbie: Thanks! Sorry about the little piggies in bio… I think it'll be fine! Other than that, I suppose it was a touch angst-y… I was sort of going for that… Then again, I **can** be angst-y if I try! XD

Could I ask you guys about these replies? I like to reply (it makes my day to hear replies to my replies!), but if all you say is "Update soon!" could I please just write a list? I'd reply to the others that asked questions and the like, but I think a list for those that just say to update soon might be easier for me to make… So… could I do that, or would you get angry? I don't want to make anyone angry!

Well, respond after you've read! Thanks!


	12. Part 12

Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

_Disclaim: I don't own Naruto, and I'm not making profit off of this fanfiction. I do own the plot, as well various plushies. Yeah._

**Sasunaru-ness ahead**

As Sasuke slept (or more accurately, _attempted_ to sleep), he heard some whimpers (more accurately, moans) coming from Naruto.

_Naruto is teasing me…_ Sasuke thought. _Why in the hell would he be moaning in his sleep_?

"Mm…. Sasuke…" Naruto moaned, slowly and painfully. For Sasuke, this was the final straw.

"Naruto, wake up," Sasuke said as he walked over to Naruto's bed.

"Mm… Sasuke, what is it?" Naruto asked sleepily.

"Moron, you were sleep-talking."

"What was I saying?" Naruto flushed, remembering his rather erotic dream. _Why did it have to be with Sasuke? Why, why, why, why?_

"You were moaning a lot, and you were saying my name." Naruto's eye twitched at that. "So, tell me… was I good?" Sasuke asked. _If Naruto's going to tease me, I'll tease him._

"…" Naruto blushed for a moment, trying to think of an answer fit for the moment. "Y-you bastard!" _Great one, Naruto…_

"You know, my mother and father were married," Sasuke said, sadly.

Seeing Sasuke sad, he decided to not touch the issue any more. "Whatever, I'm going back to sleep." With that, Naruto turned away from Sasuke.

Sasuke lay there for a while, before falling asleep once more. Little did he know that while he lay there asleep, Naruto watched.

**That morning**

"Sasuke, Naruto, wake up and get down here!" Iruka shouted up the stairs. It was getting late, and Iruka needed to get into his work early so that no student would have a chance to set up a prank against him.

"Go on without us!" Naruto yelled back. He wasn't going to leave quite yet. He wanted to watch Sasuke sleep for a few more moments.

"He's right Naruto…" Sasuke said sleepily, awoken by Iruka's calls. "We'll be down in a moment!" he called down to Iruka.

"Alright!" Iruka called back up to the two. Today was the first day of electives instead of homeroom. He was the teacher of a debate class, and Kakashi was in charge of an art class.

Naruto and Sasuke ran down the stairs and to the counter. "Sasuke, get outta my way! I need to make toast!"

"I need food too, moron." Sasuke slowly walked up behind Naruto as he stole some of the toast from Naruto, eating the yummy treat.

"No fair! Iruka, he stole my toast!" Naruto pouted, as he looked at Iruka.

"Sasuke, make more toast for Naruto." Iruka sighed, remembering that his first class would probably be worst. The filing never did agree with him or his students. As for their sanity afterwards… Well, that was a different story.

"Fine…" Sasuke was angry that his status was lowered to that of toast-maker. "Where's Kakashi?"

"He's setting up for an after-school class on sexual education," Iruka stated matter-of-factly.

"You're… letting him teach… that?" Sasuke dropped the toast.

"He offered, and parents were demanding it after some students got drunk last night," Iruka said, hoping he did not anger Sasuke too much.

"I must go. Naruto, finish making your toast," Sasuke said, walking out of the door, before breaking into a full-out run down the street.

"Damn him! My toast!" Naruto mourned over the loss of his toast-slave, as he made his toast.

"Language, Naruto!" Iruka was getting a head-ache already. Hopefully some of the debaters wouldn't be in the mood for insanity today…

**Elective Period, Iruka style**

Well, Iruka was wrong. Debaters were running around, throwing extra pages of topicalities at one another, Sasuke was sitting in a corner, thinking about something (Iruka guessed it was something that put Kakashi and death in the same sentence), and the impromptu people were shoving boxes over.

"Hah! Take that, Shino!" Kiba said as he shoved a box over.

"That was for the Darfur case…" Shino said, quietly mourning over the poor box, containing arguments for the Darfur case.

"Kiba, please d-don't shove boxes o-over… Shino t-tried very hard t-to sort th-them…" Hinata stuttered while talking to Kiba, some out of terror, and some out of nervousness. She had only started dating him over the summer break, and still wasn't totally comfortable around him.

"He knows I'm just kidding! Right, Shino?" Kiba looked over at Shino, who was still staring at the boxes. "Shino?"

"D-Darfur…" Shino was still upset over the box. He had worked so hard to sort it, and all of that work was gone in an instant.

"Hey, Iruka, how does this plan look for killing Kakashi?" Sasuke walked over to Iruka, holding a sheet of paper with some poorly drawn stick figures on it.

Iruka wished that Kakashi was just as miserable as him.

**With Kakashi**

Kakashi was hiding under a desk, in the far back of the room. _If I let them throw things today, they might not throw things tomorrow. If I let them throw things today, they might now throw things tomorrow…God, I hate my life… If I let them throw things today, they might now throw things tomorrow…_

You see, Kakashi was trying to teach the art class about clay, as he wasn't in the mood for painting, when a student got frustrated. He scooped up a handful of clay, and threw it. Thus, a clay war began.

_Well, at least they're using the medium and feeling it…_Kakashi thought bitterly. As he sat there, hiding from the chunks of flying clay, he sneezed. _Who would be thinking about me?_

**With Naruto**

Naruto had signed up for the film editing class, also known as the school news. The school news here did a lot of boring things (like the sports, interviews with teachers, what's on the menu, etc…), but they also had a humor section. The humor section was the whole reason Naruto even bothered signing up for the class.

This year would be the best year yet with the humor, as the school got new cameras, and the students enjoyed playing with them. However, the year-long theme of humor was not yet known.

"I say we do a special over strange woodland creatures gone mad!" Lee said.

Everyone stared at Lee, until Naruto spoke up. "So _you_ were the evil ostrich!"

"No, that was someone else," Lee stated, like it was the most obvious fact in the world.

"A hah! You _knew_ about the ostrich! You _knew_ and you didn't warn me!" Naruto took a deep breath, and then continued screaming. "You're a traitor! You let the freaking bird attack! I got night terrors!" Naruto's dream had involved Sasuke saving him from the ostrich, followed by some erotic behavior as a reward. "And them some!"

"How about a sheriff and a deputy?" asked one of the cameramen. "They could be totally stupid, and make no sense!"

"And… What about the year finale?" Another noted part of the humor section was the year-end special, which counted as a final exam for the students enrolled in the course.

"How about a teacher-squad thing-y?" Lee asked. "You know, like the justice league?"

"But how would the sheriff and deputy fit into this?"

"They could be hosting a show about pointless mysteries! Maybe we could throw in a manatee!" Lee said rather enthusiastically.

"That was you?" Naruto yelled at Lee, once more.

Kakashi, who had managed to slip away from the clay war, was walking to the bathroom when he heard the word 'manatee'. He immediately stopped walking, and started towards the classroom with a murderous look gleaming in his eyes. Without second thought, he shoved open the door, screaming things about manatees. He immediately regretted doing this, when he saw the teacher.

"Ah, my eternal rival! How hip of you to run into my class while screaming about manatees!" Gai screamed at Kakashi.

"Manatee…" Kakashi said, as he twitched. You could tell that the tiny hamster that ran in his head was hiding in fear of the green-clad man.

Looking at Lee, Gai asked, "Are manatees hip?"

"No, Mr. Maito! They are youthful, just like you said!"

"Lee!"

"Mr. Maito!"

"Lee!"

"Mr. Maito!"

"LEE!"

"MR. MAITO!"

As Lee and Mr. Maito were having a moment, Kakashi managed to slip out of the room. He now knew about the manatee. It was evidently a ploy from Gai to further ruin his sanity. This meant _war_.

As Kakashi continued onto the bathroom, he plotted. Perhaps he would have to go get an animal suit of his own. But where? And how?

**Lunch-time**

"Can I sit with you?" Sasuke motioned to the seat next to Naruto, who was sitting across from Kiba.

"Sure, why not?" Naruto said, scooting over to make room for Sasuke.

They continued to eat in silence for a while, before Kiba asked, "Did you two hear about the new _mandatory_ sex class?"

Naruto nearly spit out his drink. Sasuke crushed his glass in his hand, before replying in a low voice, "Unfortunately, yes."

"_Unfortunately?_ Sasuke, the class is being taught by Kakashi! No doubt he'll have some _awesome_ porn materials!"

Sasuke shuddered. "You have no idea… You have no idea what it's like to stare at those trashy books for ½ an hour!" It was quite clear that he was on the urge of a mental breakdown.

"No, it's my dream to do that! Think about all the boobs…" Kiba started to drool on the table.

"Did you have to carry them up a flight of stairs?" Sasuke wasn't quite forgiving about the sheer amount of time they had spent unpacking those books.

"No… Did you?"

"Kakashi is Sasuke's dad!" Naruto piped up, tired of being left out.

"No way! They're too different!" Kiba exclaimed in shock.

"Unfortunately, Naruto is right…" Sasuke said before getting up. The bell rang and everybody left the lunchroom.

**Sex Education**

About 15 minutes after the bell for the mandatory class rang, a voice resounded. "Good afternoon, class. I'm going to be your teacher for this class. Call me Mr. Hatake, or Kakashi," Kakashi said writing his name on the board.

In the room, there were various diagrams of sexual positions, ads for condoms, and (the most perverted thing) a copy of the Kami Sutra for each student.

"You all are to read this book by tomorrow. Learn something new," Kakashi said shrugging.

Sakura raised her hand. "Kakashi, why aren't you teaching us about protection and the like first?"

"That's what the condom ads are for. Now, I want to eat. Feel free to go home." With those words, Kakashi left a bunch of students sitting there in shock.

"I… love… this class," Kiba said with a creepy smile across his face, while he opened up K.S.

Most of the other students went home or examined the diagrams. Many of the guys made comments along the lines of "If a woman can do that, she's the woman for me." Some of the girls said something like "You can _bend_ that way?" Either way, it made for interesting discussion leaving the classroom.

**Sasuke and Naruto**

As Sasuke and Naruto walked home in silence, Naruto was blushing. _If_ he and Sasuke ever got together, would he be expected to do _those_ things? Some of those positions seemed quite painful. Naruto did _not_ like pain.

"Naruto… I'm sorry…" Sasuke spoke slowly.

"It's fine!" Naruto said a bit too quickly.

"No… I'm sorry that Kakashi was showing…" Sasuke paused, looking for a good word to describe the position, "_that_."

"It's alright; you were trapped with his books for a long time!" Naruto said.

"If you say…"

They continued on for a while, just walking in silence. Then Sasuke spoke again.

"Naruto?"

"Yes?" Naruto said with a pretty blush, making tomatoes feel pale.

"Would you…"

"Yes?"

"…"

"Go on, Sasuke, it's alright!"

"Would you stop blushing, and start talking again?"

Naruto stood there a moment. That _did not_ just happen. "Bastard!"

"I am not; I thought we already went over this…"

"Damn you!"

With that, Naruto ran home.

**That night**

Naruto and Sasuke were in their room, and they were trying to figure out what to say. Sasuke normally depended on Naruto for some discussion, so he never needed to come up with anything. But, Naruto was acting different lately.

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

"You aren't Kakashi's real son are you?"

Sasuke gaped, surprised Naruto had not yet figured that out. "Of course not!"

"Ah."

Silence passed a while longer, before Naruto spoke again.

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

"I remember you now…"

Sasuke sat there for a moment, wondering what Naruto meant. He _remembered_? He _finally_ remembered?

"You… do?"

"Yeah… You owe me a kiss."

Sasuke sat there, unsure of what to do. Would he kiss Naruto? He had wanted it for a while. But first he needed to know something. "Naruto… what made you remember?"

**A Kakashi moment**

Kakashi laughed maniacally, holding up some odd blue material. Iruka was awoken by the noise, and ran into his kitchen, hoping a dead cat hadn't stumbled in. Iruka did not like dead cats.

"Iruka! I did it! I did it!"

Iruka took one look at the scene in front of him, and turned to go back to bed. Kakashi sat there a moment, giggling like a maniac.

"Revenge will be mine… Mwahahaha!" Kakashi laughed a while, then he fainted on the fabric, exhausted from laughing so much.

**End Chapter**

I left you guys with a big cliffhanger there, didn't I? Doesn't it just make you want to review to get my lazy butt to update faster? Well, doesn't it?

I personally think the bigger cliff hanger is what costume Kakashi will wear, but that is just me… Fufufufu…

Thanks to all these awesome people:

Midnight Shining Star, blue-genjustsu, Moonlitstardestiny (you rock!), everything is TROUBLESOME, avila7989, swtTom0-chan93, Sasuke2006, narutomania, FMA-lover16, Bloodmistress, mike

You all rock! And you get cookies!

Now for the replies:

Sibbielee113: I feel sorry for them too! But, I love the pairing, so it doesn't matter.

Tea: I assure you that there will be more weirdo plots. There will be many more.

Kari no Tenshi: I use my inspiration no jutsu on you! Cha!

FXL: The teachers called the parents. What else would they do if they found drunken students?

Black Gravitation: It finishes my set of yaoi plushies! Yes!

Herrliche Lilie: Jigging is the easiest dance, in my opinion… Reel is the hardest…

Imari-chan: I can sorta-kinda draw. I'm still not sure about the doujin, though I have officially began some of it.

Sonicfanatic: Loved your inner dialogue! XD

Brokn Innocence: That was how I was feeling… Sort of like a broken record… Glad it didn't throttle you! I love your reviews!

Mangaluvr: Glad you felt special! Your review makes me feel good!

Well, please review! It makes me feel so good to hear what you think! I'm sorry that it is taking me so long to come up with updates, though… Exams are coming up, and I'm writing a ton of essays for A/P classes, my Japanese teacher is in the hospital (she's due today…), and I'm being scared to death by deadlines at work sneaking up on me! So, please forgive my lack of updates! It'll get better over the summer, I promise! Please put up with this… and don't forget to review in the process!


	13. Part 13

Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

_Disclaimy-ness: I don't own Naruto or postsecret. I simply write about them for fun. I do not profit off of the story. _

_Warning: Lemon-ish scene starting this chapter. It should be safe once you see the With Iruka tag._

**In Naruto's bedroom**

"Well?" Sasuke asked, getting impatient. He wanted to know why Naruto remembered, and why he had ever forgotten in the first place.

"Sasuke…" Naruto said, looking sad. "Do I really need to tell you?"

"Yes, dammit! Naruto, I care about you!" Sasuke said loudly. He was afraid to speak too loudly, or else Kakashi might hear him. "Please, tell me."

Naruto looked down before deciding to move. He did not want to tell Sasuke about the dreams, the unpleasant memories, or the pleasant memories. He didn't want Sasuke to know about it. He didn't want Sasuke to know about that time… The time when he… Naruto stopped that train of thought, before bringing his lips down to meet the lips of Sasuke.

Sasuke was shocked when he felt the other's lips on his own. However, he knew Naruto didn't want to tell him. The kiss was awkward, and he noticed it, when Naruto attempted to slide his tongue in between Sasuke's lips. It was then Sasuke pulled away.

"Moron, what are you doing?"

"Don't you see Sasuke?" Naruto said, through lust-clouded eyes. "I want you…" With those words, Naruto pushed Sasuke over.

"You're not thinking clearly, Naruto," Sasuke said angrily.

"I'm thinking clearly… I clearly want you, Sasuke." Naruto spoke in a lusty voice, a voice Sasuke did not recognize.

"Idiot, think. Just a few moments ago you hated me! Come on, you aren't thinking right!" Sasuke said, letting his voice just barely rise. Even if he did want it, Naruto wasn't thinking clearly. He did not want Naruto to regret it, and hate him forever because of it. One night of pleasure was not worth a lifetime of pain… Or was it? Would Naruto really regret it? Sasuke thought these thoughts as he brought himself over to Naruto, who still was not thinking straight (no pun intended).

"Mmmngh… Sasuke… I need you…" Naruto moaned. He wanted Sasuke in him.

"Naruto…" Sasuke gasped as he felt Naruto's hand slide underneath his clothing, feeling him.

"Sasuke…" Naruto let Sasuke's name spill from his lips as though it were solid gold, or another precious metal. He slowly brought his lips to the band on Sasuke's pajamas. He slowly began to lick the skin there, starting with just the tip of his tongue, followed by the whole wet organ, slithering over the pale skin like a snake.

Sasuke gasped, feeling something wet go over his skin. He moaned loudly, but not too loudly. He did not want to lose sleeping next to the moron. Which was why he needed to stop this.

"Naruto… Mmm... stop…" Sasuke moaned out. The moaning only encouraged Naruto more.

"You like it, don't you?" Naruto said, still in his lusty voice. He grabbed Sasuke's crotch through the thick cloth. "Do you really want me to stop?" Naruto asked, beginning to rub Sasuke's member through the coarse material. "Well?"

Sasuke moaned, a lot louder than the time before. He then heard some footsteps coming to the door. "Naruto, stop." He was finally able to manage some force into his voice.

"Why?" Naruto said, just beginning to take off Sasuke's pants.

Sasuke hissed at the cold air coming onto his lower regions as Naruto began to slide his fingers down into his shorts. Slowly, Naruto began to rub at the base of the hard object.

"Iruka's coming…" Sasuke let out a final moan before Naruto moved away, taking with him the sensual fingers that had been stoking Sasuke's base just a moment earlier.

**With Iruka**

_Damn Kakashi… I cannot believe he is plotting revenge on a manatee by sewing… that!_ Iruka thought, as he slowly walked down the hallway, carrying an unconscious Kakashi. He had thought to leave Kakashi fainted on the table, but he didn't want to clean up drool in the morning. Getting up the stairs was troublesome, but cleaning up another man's spit was just disgusting. He decided to let Kakashi sleep with him, as his room was closer to the stairs. He was getting tired of carrying the older man. Pajamas would be an issue, but Iruka would deal with that issue once Kakashi was on his bed. However, another issue arose when he heard a moan coming from Naruto's room. Not a moan of pain, either. A moan of pleasure.

"Naruto? Are you two ok?" Iruka asked in a quiet fashion, so he wouldn't wake Kakashi up.

"Yes, I'm fine!" Naruto yelled back, once again sober from lust.

"Alright… Try not to get too noisy, though!" Iruka decided it was just his imagination. Naruto did not sound like his mouth was full of anything, nor did he sound like he was moaning.

"Ok!" Sasuke answered this time, also seemingly normal. With that, Iruka decided it was best to continue his trek to his own bedroom, Kakashi in tote.

Iruka walked into his room, still carrying Kakashi. Iruka made a mental note to put Kakashi on a diet, and threw him on the bed. Blushing, Iruka thought about the pajama issue. He listed the pros and cons in his head.

All of a sudden, two little creatures popped up in his head. Only, these weren't the usual good-evil, angel-devil type things most people would see. No, that would be too normal. Instead Iruka saw a pony and a donkey.

"I really need some sleep…" Iruka said to himself.

"Wait! Before you decide, listen to me!" said the little pony. It was mauve.

"No, listen to me!" said the donkey. It was grey, like regular donkeys. Only, this donkey had red eyes. And instead of buck teeth, it had vampire teeth.

Then a poof was heard. Iruka saw before him… a vampire duck!

"Is there a gas leak? First a purple manatee, now a vampire duck, an evil ass, and a mauve pony. Let me guess what's next, a green unicorn?" Iruka spoke to the evil/ good little woodland/ farm/ vampire creatures.

"No, he was rejected from the service from spreading too many rainbows," the pony said.

Iruka sighed. Apparently these figments of his imagination were not going away anytime soon. "Well, what is it you want to tell me?"

"I'm here to say that you must change Kakashi into pajamas! He could get cold!" the donkey said. "And you could also see his tight ass! Admit it, you want to see it!"

The pony interjected, "Why change into pajamas? Think, you could wake him up by giving him a blowjob! Then you get the whole bed to yourself!"

Iruka blushed, looking expectantly at the vampire duck. "Well?"

"Well what?" asked the vampire duck.

"Aren't you going to tell me what to do?"

"No, I just think it's funny to see those two fight."

"Oh." Iruka looked at the other two animals, which were fighting. "Aren't you going to stop them?"

"Why?"

"If not, could you leave?"

"Oh… Yes, I suppose we could." The duck turned away from Iruka. "Come on, you two."

"Alright…"

"I guess…"

"Just remember to listen to your heart, and not little woodland creatures!" With those words, the woodland creatures were off. Iruka waved them good-bye, and made a mental note to check for any gas leaks in his home the next day. Perhaps he should listen to the pony…

With those thoughts, Iruka moved over to the dresser, getting out a pair of pajamas for himself and Kakashi. He decided to wake up Kakashi to get some bed clothes on. After all, it was never wise to listen to dis-colored woodland creatures.

**Outside the Umino household**

That night, Sakura had decided to get back at Iruka, whom she had learned was responsible for the sexual education class. Of course, her mother was more the person at fault, but when you need revenge, you need revenge. So, she did the sanest thing there was to do.

She got together her various friends who were also enraged by the sexual education class. Such people included Lee (who was really just there to spend time with Sakura), Gaara (who was really just there to spend time with Lee and to plot against Sakura), Temari (who was really just there to make sure Gaara didn't rape Lee/ kill Sakura), Shikamaru (who was dragged there by Temari with a threat of no sex), and Kankuro (who was just there to laugh at the morons). Then, they plotted. Such plots included discolored animals, vampires, and some puppeteering.

They then began to put their plan into action. Lee was originally going to dress up as a green unicorn, but the outfit took too long, so they dyed the outfit purple, but it turned into this mauve color. So, Lee was a mauve pony, who would be the first to appear. Because Kankuro has a leftover donkey costume from the last Halloween, he decided to wear that. Then, Gaara has spilled some red paint on the costume. Just to be funny, Temari added some fangs. Thus, there was a vampire ass. Kankuro also wanted to use a puppet, so a vampire duck was spawned. The duck would be voiced by Shikamaru, just because it was easier than putting on a costume.

Finally, they put their plan into action. Now, they were sitting outside the Umino household, trying not to laugh too hard.

"That was _awesome_!" Temari whispered to Shikamaru, who was glad that he would have sex.

Gaara looked at Lee, who was flirting with Sakura, and stood up to walk over to the two. He would not lose to the female. After all, he was _clearly_ awesomer. Somewhere, other people were wondering if awesomer was a word (it isn't).

Temari shook her head at the sight. She didn't want Gaara to get hurt, but it was evident that he would if he kept on following Lee. She made a mental note to find Gaara a more suitable boyfriend with less fuzzy eyebrows as she snuggled into Shikamaru's chest.

A few moments later, the group left, for a fear of being discovered was great. As they left, a surprised yell was heard from the window above them.

**With Iruka**

Iruka was attempting to wake Kakashi up, when he noticed Kakashi was holding a pillow. Iruka could simply not bring himself to stop the cute moment. Even if that was _his_ pillow, and he'd miss sleeping with it.

Then, Kakashi began moaning a little. Iruka blushed, seeing Kakashi laying there. Kakashi slowly began to move closer to the pillow. Iruka paused in his thoughts for a moment before deciding to end the scene. Snuggling with the pillow was one thing, but having _sex_ with the pillow? That was another matter entirely.

Iruka moved over to shake Kakashi awake, and tell him that he was about to have sex with a pillow, but when Iruka did so, Kakashi grabbed his arm. Then he started to hug the appendage.

Iruka attempted to get his arm away from Kakashi, but to no avail. Deciding it would be better not to wake Kakashi up, he fell asleep.

Kakashi smiled as he felt the body fall down next to him. So Iruka _did_ like him. Still, something would have to be done about those woodland creatures.

_Tomorrow morning…_ Kakashi thought, as he too allowed himself to be taken by the sweet poison we call sleep.

**Next morning**

The next morning, Iruka awoke to find Kakashi was not next to him again. Iruka once again wondered somewhere if he was _really_ that bad to sleep next to.

Naruto was blushing every time he saw Sasuke, and Sasuke was staying a healthy distance from Naruto.

In truth, Kakashi was in the kitchen getting into his blue ferret costume. At first sight, Sasuke nearly smiled. Just _nearly_. But, he could not smile because of Naruto. What _had_ made him remember?

"Kakashi… What are you doing in a blue ferret costume?"

"I'm going to destroy a manatee. If I don't come back alive, make sure my porn is buried with me," Kakashi said this seriously. Sasuke didn't doubt he was. After all, Kakashi's porn collection could fill a whole graveyard, if one felt like burying pornography over dead people. Luckily, no one had ever heard of anyone that _did_ want to be buried with their porn, so graveyards were safe for the moment.

"Good luck with that," Sasuke said as he made his toast. He remembered making toast with Naruto. That was good toast. Oh, the toast of the past…

**At the school**

Once more, it was time for elective periods. But something was off about this certain day. Some thought that it was that the art teacher wasn't in the classroom, but then they remembered he was late everyday.

They then saw the art teacher in a ferret suit. Wait, not a ferret suit… A _blue_ ferret suit. It didn't help that he was walking down the hall to the news room.

"So, I was thinking we could have the deputy bossing around some cheerleaders, maybe give a little…" Kiba stopped talking as soon as he saw what Kakashi was wearing. In perhaps 5 seconds, whatever respect there had been for Kakashi was gone.

"Where is Gai?" Kakashi said, trying to give off a death glare. The ferret suit was not helping his stoic-ness, though.

Lee began to cry. "Our youthful teacher came down with a cold! Why is the world of germs so cruel? Why? Why?" He began to bang his head on the desk with each "why?".

"Sick?" Kakashi's world was turned upside down with this statement. He hadn't brought a change of clothes, and Gai was _sick_? "Damn that manatee…"

"Manatee!" Lee began sobbing louder, and began banging his head on the desk harder.

"I'm starting to think you _were_ the manatee, Lee…" Naruto said, concerned.

"No, it was Shikamaru!" Lee sobbed harder. People wondered how many brain cells he was losing, and felt sorry for him because of his loss.

Kakashi stopped right there, before running out the door. Shikamaru was in debate, right?

**In Debate**

"Shikamaru, why are you afraid?" Hinata said, looking at her pale friend.

"Ferret…" And with that, Shikamaru fainted. Slowly, Hinata turned around.

"Mr… H-Hatake?" Hinata asked, afraid to know the answer.

Sasuke chose that moment to walk into the room. "Kakashi?"

"I have exacted my revenge," Kakashi said, in a manner that would insinuate a great battle being won, only with discolored animals. "Have a nice day, Sasuke. Here's your lunch."

With that, Kakashi left the room, his revenge exacted.

**End Chapter**

Well, how'd you like it? I thought it was quite good, quite good… XD I'm glad that I finally got around to writing a lemon (sort of)! It was my first, and I'd like to know what you thought! Please tell me in the review, and tell me some things to improve! Thanksies!

Speaking of reviews, here are some awesome people!

Tashayar-chan, blue-genjutsu, Sibbielee113 (sorry, bunnies are orange!), avila7989, chi no hana, loverspastforgotten, swtTom0-chan93, iNUYASHAS-only-lover-KAGoME, MidnightShiningStar, Ky0Kichi, Imarichan, FXL, Moonlitstardestiny (don't die! I want reviews!), FMA-lover16, losthimagain, Hiruka-Rei's-Kitty, sweetmusic-01, Sasuke2006, animefan211, and meisme

Replies:

Kari no Tenshi: Don't die! I just dedicated this to you! You can survive the exams! Just like that song… I will survive… XD

BeuitifulDisgrace246: They aren't quite hooked up yet… Sakura and the crew will have a role, believe it! XD

ladywolfTerri: Fetish club! Yay! Fetishes! Yay! XD

Sonicfanatic: Your inner conversations still crack me up! XD

Herrliche Lilie: Do take some time! Though, the light jig would be crazy easy to learn… Just some simple steps in that one. Even if it is evil… XP

In other news, I'm dedicating chapters to reviewers now! Last chapter is dedicated to Black Gravitation, who I wish a happy birthday (if a bit late…)! This chapter I dedicate to one of my most dedicated reviewers, Kari no Tenshi, who always writes long reviews, and is overall awesome! Just like the rest of you!

Contest: Come up with a new summary to attract more reviewers!

Well, R&R! I can't wait to hear from you guys! Sorry for the wait… I had writer's block, which also explains why this chapter is a little short.


	14. Part 14

Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

_Disclaim: I don't own Naruto, and I'm not making any profit aside from my happiness! _

**With Naruto**

While wondering why in the world Kakashi was wearing a ferret suit and looking for Gai, Naruto was also being amused with Lee for banging his head on the table. Sadly Sakura had to come along and stop Lee from said head-banging.

"Lee! Snap out of it! Now!"

"Sa-sakura?"

Sakura sighed. Why she was even in this classroom, she knew not. However, it had something to do with trailing a very strange blue ferret. Past that, she could not recollect.

"Lee! Why in the world are you banging your head on a desk?" Sakura asked/ screamed at Lee.

"B-because…" Lee started to tear up.

"Because-?" Sakura prompted him to continue.

"Because Gai is sick!" Lee exclaimed, before once again hitting his head on the table.

Sakura threw Lee a look, before once again pulling him up from the table. "Lee, if you keep hitting your head, I think you'll lose all of your brain cells."

"What's the point in living if Gai is sick?" Lee once again exclaimed, in agony.

"Lee, stop it!" Sakura yelled back. If Lee's screams weren't drawing enough attention to them, Sakura's yelling made everyone's eyes turn to them.

"Sakura… Y-you care!" Lee exclaimed, before throwing himself onto Sakura.

"Get off of me! I don't care! I just don't want you to die!" Sakura said, as she attempted to push Lee off.

"That means you do care!" Lee just hugged her tighter.

"No! I don't care!"

"But you said that you don't want me to-" Lee said, and was cut off.

"I don't want anyone to die!"

"Not even that girl?"

"What girl?" Sakura asked, confused.

"When you were drunk, you mentioned a girl… Called her a pig, too…" Lee said, sort of fading out as he spoke.

"Ino-pig? Well, I _hate_ her, but I don't think I'd want her to die."

"Oh… Whoops."

"What do you mean, whoops?"

"I sent some woodland creatures to her door."

"How will that kill her, might I ask?" Sakura asked. She was clearly disturbed.

"Don't you know about how when little woodland creatures are sent to your door, you have bad luck?" Lee asked, in shock.

"Not… really…" Sakura was still disturbed.

"Well, I'll protect you from any strange woodland creatures, Ms. Sakura!"

"Lee…"

Poor Naruto had no choice but to stand there, listening about Lee's stories with woodland creatures. _Maybe he had some problems when he was a child?_

**With Ino**

Ino opened the front door, to get the mail. She saw a rather large box, addressed to her.

"What is this?" she pondered, as she opened it. She thought it best not to open it indoors, because of the rattling and scratching she heard.

A head popped out of the box. Then two heads. Then three. Before Ino knew it, twenty heads had popped out of the box.

"What the hell?" she looked at the heads once more. "Squirrels?"

The squirrels jumped out of the box, and latched onto Ino. As she got up to walk, the squirrels followed her. As she started to run towards the house, the squirrels kept up.

"Look, I'm sure you're very… nice squirrels, but I need to get into my home," she said, as she slowly back away from the squirrels.

The squirrels followed.

"Dad!"

Ino's dad came outdoors. If Ino was yelling that loudly, something must be wrong with the flowers. And if something was wrong with the flowers, he was out of business. His flower shop couldn't sell grass, after all.

However, when he got to the scene, and saw the squirrels, he laughed. "This is a picture-perfect moment!"

"No, it's not! These squirrels won't stop following me!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, really!"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously!"

"Well, I think that they won't hurt anyone."

"They're hurting me!"

"How?"

"By staring at me!"

While the father and daughter argued, the devilish little squirrels were crawling up a tree, devising an evil scheme.

In fact, the head squirrel thought it was so evil, he grew a mustache. After all, a bad guy isn't a bad guy without a mustache.

**With Sasuke**

Shino was still mourning over the great loss of his policy debate box, Hinata was trying to comfort him, and Kiba was laughing. Sasuke could not believe the morons in his debate class. He thought this class would be the serious, quiet class.

He should have known better, when he heard the teacher was Iruka, and Kiba was in the class.

"M-my… debate…" Shino was very sad, and then, he lashed out at Kiba. "Who the hell do you think you are? This was my box."

"Shi-shino, don't hurt Kiba, p-please!" Hinata was freaking out. It wasn't often Shino got angry.

Kiba immediately ceased laughing, and began to put Shino's box back together. "Heh… heh?"

Shino glared at Kiba. "That's a start. Now, get me lunch."

"It's ten in the morning! You want lunch?"

"It better be pizza." Shino spoke in a silent manner.

"O-ok… Just don't hurt me!" Kiba ran away.

"P-perhaps you sh-shouldn't h-have b-been s-so hard on h-him…" Hinata said, stuttering.

"He deserved it," Shino said, as he began resorting files. "What was he thinking? A file about fungus should not be mixed with Darfur."

Sasuke had finished sorting his box, and just stared at the scene. He and Shikamaru were to be partners in crime for this semester. He prayed Shikamaru was not that insane.

**At lunch**

"Lee! Get back here!" Sakura yelled at Lee.

"What is it, Ms. Sakura?"

"We're going to attempt to make some progress with Sasuke and Naruto! Don't eat with them."

At Naruto and Sasuke's table, Naruto was complaining about eating lunch with only Sasuke.

Overall, nothing happened at the lunch, aside from Naruto spilling some skim milk on Sasuke's black shirt. As Sasuke walked to the bathroom, he received several questionable stares about the white stuff.

**On their way home**

Sasuke was still a little angry about the milk incident, which Naruto seemed to show no remorse over.

"So… Anyways, today I learned Lee had issues as a child," Naruto was still rambling about Lee. "Sasuke, are you listening to me?"

Sasuke stopped in anger for a moment. Of course he was listening to Naruto, even if Lee's childhood matters didn't worry him. "Yes."

"Then what'd I just say?" Naruto asked.

"Something about Lee's childhood issues."

"No! I said 'today I learned Lee had issues as a child'. Geez, weren't you listening?"

Sasuke turned towards Naruto, and stopped his words with a kiss. He started to lick Naruto's lip, who proceeded to let Sasuke in. After a few moments, he pulled back. He smirked.

"B-bastard!" Naruto was blushing.

Sasuke smirked. Naruto tasted yummy. "I'm not a bastard; my parents were married, thank you."

"Well, I-I d-don't c-care. I don't do it with guys!"

"Well, what was last night?" As soon as Sasuke said those words, he regretted it.

"The other side of the street."

"Huh?" Sasuke was confused. He did not like being confused.

"Walk on the other side of the street."

Sasuke wasn't to be swayed that easily. "I'm sorry, Nar-"

"Fine, if you won't, I will. And tell Iruka I'll be at Kiba's." Naruto turned heel, and started walking towards Kiba's home.

"Naruto…" Sasuke decided to give him some time alone and also walked on his way to the place he lived.

**Later that night**

It was 9:30, and Naruto still was not home. Sasuke and Iruka were both sitting in the kitchen, worried about Naruto. All of a sudden the phone rang. Iruka literally ran to pick up the phone, while Sasuke was still staring at the door.

"Hello?" Iruka sounded worried, despite his efforts to keep calm. Even though Sasuke had said Naruto would be at Kiba's, it wasn't odd for Naruto to lie. Especially to Sasuke.

"_Hey, Iruka!"_ It was Naruto. Iruka sighed with relief. As soon as Sasuke heard Naruto's voice, his vision automatically switched from the door to the phone.

"Ah, Naruto. Hey." Iruka was obviously calmer, but Sasuke still looked as though he'd explode any moment.

"_Could I stay the night here?"_

"Naruto, it's a Thursday night, and you have school in the morning!"

"_No, school's out tomorrow, remember? You just have to go in because it's a teacher workday."_

Iruka sighed, remembering this. He _hated_ teacher workdays with a _passion_. "Well, I don't see any harm done."

"_Really? Thanks, Iruka!"_

"Just be safe, ok?"

"_Ok! Bye, Iruka!"_

"Bye, Naruto. Love you."

"_Love you too!"_

With that, Iruka hung up the phone, Sasuke looking at him like he was insane.

"What was I supposed to do?" Iruka looked at Sasuke.

"Well, it's my fault. You should have told him I was sorry," Sasuke said. He got up and went to his room, and slammed the door shut.

"Iruka, what was that loud slamming noise?" Kakashi asked, who had poked his head out of his own room.

"Nothing. Just a hormonal teenager."

"Sasuke or Naruto?"

"Sasuke. Naruto is over at Kiba's," Iruka said, still a little sad about the lack of time he'd be spending with Naruto over the weekend.

Kakashi sensed the 'Iruka is sad' waves, and quite literally picked him up.

"Arg! Put me down!" Iruka was trying nearly everything to get out of the taller man's death-grip. Then he remembered.

"Put me down or the porn gets it."

"Now, now. You can't be serious," Kakashi whispered against Iruka's hair.

"Don't try me. You know I'm home more than you. I could strike at any moment."

Kakashi thought about it, and all the sides to the conflict. Side one said that if Iruka was serious, he was screwed. Side two said it would be nice to hold Iruka. And maybe he could do the screwing later. Side three just thought about porn.

Side one won out, but side three was a close second. Kakashi put Iruka down.

"Thank you, Kak-" Iruka was cut off by a kiss to his lips.

Kakashi made the kiss very short. As soon as he ended the kiss, he ran as quickly as he could to his room. He needed porn.

As Iruka heard the door shut, he stood there. Then he blinked.

"What the hell?"

He was answered with silence.

**With Naruto and Kiba**

"Thanks for letting me stay here, Kiba," Naruto said, as he stole a coke from the mini-fridge.

"No problem. But, might I ask what was going on to make you stay here?"

Naruto immediately blushed. "N-nothing."

"I think it's s-something," Kiba said, as he mock-stuttered Naruto.

"Well…"

"Well?" Kiba was very intent on hearing the reason. Hinata was supposed to come over to his dorm tonight. Naruto was the only thing keeping him from her.

"Kiba!" Lee burst in through the window. "Operation Sasunaru is going horribl-" Lee stopped in his tracks, realizing Naruto was in the room.

"Sasunaru?" Naruto looked at Lee, with killing intent in his eyes.

Kiba decided to attempt to cover. "No, he said 'Sassy are you?'! It's an attempt to get the girls to be less sassy!"

"No, I said Sasunaru," Lee said, oblivious to the cover-up.

"God damn you, Lee."

"What'd I do?" Lee looked confused.

"You revealed our plan."

"What plan?" Lee asked, still confused.

Kiba caught on, or so he thought. "That's right, there is no plan! Ha ha!"

"No, I remember a plan, now!"

Kiba realized there was nothing to catch onto. Lee was a moron. "Just shut up."

Naruto stood up, and bowed. "Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I think I've overstayed my welcome. See you Monday." With that, he left.

"Do you think he realized we have a plan about him and Sasuke?" Lee asked.

"No, I don't. And you know what else I think?"

"What?"

"I think that leprechauns exist."

"I'm not the only one!"

"Lee."

"Yes?"

"Go home."

**With Iruka**

Naruto walked into his home. It was 11:06, but he wasn't the only one up. He smelled some cinnamon in the air. Iruka must be awake.

"Ah! Naruto! You're… home?"

"Yeah, I decided coming home would be a good thing. What're you baking?"

"Oh, I'm making some cinnamon rolls, and some chocolate chip cookies. Anything else you want?" Iruka asked.

"Nah, I'm good. Can I help?"

Iruka smiled warmly. It had been a while since Naruto was willing to bake with him. "Of course you can."

**With Kiba**

Hinata was sitting comfortably in Kiba's lap, while they watched a movie. "Kiba?"

"Yes?" Kiba said, kissing her ear.

"Do you think Naruto and Sasuke will ever get together?"

"I'm not sure, but I think anything is possible."

"I love you."

Kiba reassured her with a kiss. "I love you, too."

**With Sasuke**

Sasuke was still not asleep, because of the noise Iruka's cooking had made. However, when he heard Naruto's voice, he became happy. He wondered if he should go down to join them.

The door of the room next to him opened, and closed. Kakashi had evidently joined them. Sasuke hoped Iruka wouldn't give him too hard a job. After all, Kakashi wasn't known for his cooking skills.

He turned over on his bed. If he went down there, it would mean he was part of a family. It would mean the people in this house would be close to him. Would he really take that risk? After losing his own family by a murderer, was it wise to hold others close to him? What if the murderer cam back? What if… What if Naruto was hurt? There were so many 'what-if's floating around.

But, what if he never did get close to anyone again? Would that mean his brother won? Either way, it didn't look good. Maybe he should just use common sense and stay in his room.

However, something was going against all common sense as he got up, and opened the door. He walked down the stairs, and joined the cooking.

Even though he was covered in flour and dough, at the end of the night, with Naruto lying beside him, Sasuke felt at home for the first time in 9 years.

**End Chapter**

Well? Did I use good character development? Did I? (notices reviewers are pissed) Ah, I should probably tell you why I didn't update, huh? (reviewers nod) Ok, I have quite a few reasons.

One: Dance competition. As some of you may know, I dance competitive Irish dance. The next-to-last weekend of May, I had a competition, and I couldn't miss it. If I did, I think S-chan woulda killed me. The thing is, I had to stay (Mom and Dad were in Ohio) at a _very_ Christian friend's house of mine. She was being confirmed into the church, so I spent a great deal of my weekend helping with that. I planned to update on Sunday, after my mom picked me up. However, her flight got cancelled, and I ended up staying at my friend's house until 2:00 AM. I had school the next day, so I couldn't update without killing myself.

Two: Right after the feis (competition), I had exams. The Monday I was in school was spent studying. The Monday night was spent studying. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday: studying. Sorry about exams, everyone! Blame the school!

Three: Sleep. During the school year, I become deprived of this wonderful phenomenon called "sleep". I usually spend my summer sleeping away. Especially right after exams.

Four: Gaia. I've become obsessed. I'm sorry all, but there is some time I have to spend with my Gaia account! I hadn't been on in a while, so I got back on, and there were about 5 million things I needed to do! Avi art, friend requests, and all that jazz. So, I was attacked (noez!). By the way, if you wanna donate, send it to Demonchild203, with an underscore between Demon and child(it might make me update quicker!)

Five: Writer's block. I had no inspiration, and I had no cheese (Sibbie should remember this (hint: _write this song for us, please._). Basically, I was not inspired to write anything. Until today!

So, I be sorry… But, to reply to you under-appreciated reviewers/ awesome people:

Chi no hana: I liked your idea, but could I modify it a little, and mix it with others?

Imari-chan: (glomps back) Thanksies! You're on the awesome people list for life! And, Sasuke sort of is used to it, as you saw in this chapter.

Midnight Shining Star: Thank you for your review!

Blue-genjutsu: Of course it was funny! If it wasn't I'd have to delete it! xD

FXL: Thanksies! It's fun to write, so it's a good thing you like it!

Losthimagain: I'm not on crack, thank you very much (I'm on ramen, the good for you cheap food)! Drugs are bad, so don't do them, kids!

Kari no Tenshi: The chapter! I dedicated the chapter to you, for being such an awesome reviewer! Who I love! (huggles) Thanks for making awesomer a word! xD

Avila7989: Poor Shikamaru, indeed… I sort of felt sorry for him. But, I like torturing the characters I love, because I'm a sadist like that. xP

Sibbielee113: Oh, Sibbie! Bunnies are not blue or orange! They're that ugly puke-green! XD Also, your littlest brother was le groping Mist! I know he's still a baby, but I was laughing about it… Think I might have insulted someone (ack)! So, apologize for me? (big puppy eyes)

Loverspastforgotten: Indeed! They shall! Eventually! … Do you want to marry my story? It's allowed. I think. XD

Tea: I love how I confuse Iruka… It is fun! I hope you liked this chapter, too! I know I did, even though there wasn't as much humor as I wanted… XP

Noroi-Inu: No choice? (imagines whips) oo; Save me! I'm really glad you like it, though! I like it, too (duh)!

NycetaScandiaca: Don't get more sick because of me! I don't want you to get too sick! A dead reviewer is not a good reviewer!

Sasuke2006: I give you… a shrubbery! Mwahahaha!

Silent Note: You do? What's it look like? It is cute? Furry? I loves ferrets! Too bad I can't get one… Abby (pet dog) would kill it… XP

Red Asatari: Sorry, still no lemon! It's building up to one, though!

MusicLuvre: He is a naughty boy! Sasuke should spank him! XDDD

Kai of the Great Forest: They aren't too OOC? Really? That makes me so happy!

Black Gravitation: Fundip? Yay! I love fundip!

uzumaki ryooki: Hah! Another hater of squirrels! You shall join my army! Beware, we gain power! Mwahaha!

SwtTom0-chan93: You shall find out in due time… In due time… (likes being evil)

Amanda Trinh: The funniest you've read all week? Seriously? Yay!

Dark Iasha: I don't know how I come up with this… I think it's my brain, or something like that. Thanks so much for the long review! I loved it!

Other than that, I did manage to draw out this short… thing! It's sort of cool, and a preview of the doujinshi/ character designs! I'm a little worried about how it turned out, but here it is:

w w w . d e v i a n t a r t . c o m / d e v i a t i o n / 3 4 0 8 9 9 4 2 /

Remove the spaces, and enjoy! So, happy reviewing. (Remember my gaia name is Demonchild203, with an underscore between Demon and child if you want to donate!)


	15. Part 15

Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

_Disclaim-y goodness: I don't own Naruto, and I sure as heck don't own Sasuke or Kakashi or Iruka. All I own is the plot and these here socks! And they aren't good socks either. They have tons of lint (cries). Also, if anything in this story insults you, I'm sorry. It's hard to stay politically correct with this story. Onto the story, then!_

**With Sasuke**

Sasuke woke up feeling sticky and next to Naruto. In any pervert's mind (and Sasuke _was_ a pervert), one would expect some sex here, some touching there, and maybe a little bit of _that_, too. However, once Sasuke realized there were some cookie bits in his hair, he realized there was no sex. Unless if it was really kinky. And Naruto didn't seem like the kinky type.

Sighing as he got up, Sasuke realized there was something holding him back. Specifically Naruto's death-grip on his leg. Sasuke was happy, and laid back down for a few minutes.

Then the urge to pee set in.

A man has a few issues in life, like when he will lose his virginity, who to, if he was drunk, and perhaps how much it would cost. Among these needs and concerns includes the urge to pee. Sasuke's bladder release would not come anytime soon with Naruto clinging to him. However, Sasuke could not bring himself to wake up the cute blonde. He just looked so molestable in his sleep.

So, there were 3 possible choices. Sasuke could lie there and ignore the urge to pee, he could wake Naruto up and go pee, or he could go pee with Naruto still clinging to him. However, there were some issues with each solution. The first one wouldn't work because he _really_ had to go. The second wouldn't work, because he liked seeing Naruto that molestable. The third… it could work, if he and Naruto were actually lovers. And they weren't (at least, not yet. Sasuke would have a cow if this wasn't the case eventually). So, he decided on the second choice. The least discomfort for both of them. If only there was a way to pry Naruto off of him without waking the blonde up.

Sasuke saw a crowbar in the corner of the room.

Sasuke wasn't crazy, rest assured. He just had some psychopathic tendencies. He looked at the crowbar, at Naruto, and finally at his crotch (the deciding factor). He looked at Naruto again, only to look at his crotch once more. The crowbar was still in the corner of the room.

Could he really use a crowbar to pull Naruto off? Naruto's grip tightened on Sasuke as if to say "No, it won't. Give up and let me cuddle you." Sasuke sighed. It looked like Naruto was going to have to be woken up.

Right after he kissed Naruto.

Sasuke leaned in, and gently put his lips against the lips of his beloved. He felt the softness of the lips and sighed. _If this is not heaven, I don't know what is. His lips are so soft._ Sasuke reminded himself to ask Naruto about how his lips were so soft, as he began to nibble on Naruto's lower lip.

Of course, Naruto was beginning to wake up. He was feeling something tingly on his lip. _Is it possible for your lips to fall asleep, like your leg?_ Naruto slowly began to open his eyes.

**With Iruka**

Iruka had ended up sleeping with Kakashi. Kakashi had said something about being very lonely, and him wanting Iruka to comfort him. Iruka couldn't refuse. Kakashi had ways of being _very_ persuasive.

However, Iruka's moment of contemplation was interrupted when he heard a very high-pitched scream. He and Kakashi both sat up simultaneously. They glanced at each other.

"So… Are you still going to destroy my porn?" Kakashi looked at Iruka.

"You mean you didn't hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"That scream. I think you should go check it out."

"Why? So you can burn my porn?"

"Because I'm too scared. What if a robber broke in?"

"You're avoiding the question."

"What question?"

"Will you destroy my porn?"

"Why would I?"

"I kissed you without your permission."

Iruka blushed at the thought of the happenings of the night before. "I won't destroy your porn! Just go out there!"

"Fine, fine." Kakashi stood up. He then kissed Iruka again, this time more fully than the night before. Kakashi ended up breaking the bond for air, and after looking into Iruka's eyes, he scampered off.

"What… was that?" Iruka asked himself, before touching his lips. _Oh well. At least I know I'm not bad to sleep with. He didn't leave this time!_

**With Naruto**

Naruto screamed. Sasuke was kissing him. And nibbling on his lips to boot! "Ah! Get off! I told you I don't do it with guys!"

Sasuke broke off, before seeing Naruto all flustered. Sasuke forgot his urge to pee as soon as he saw Naruto's face. And, because he was horny, he did something he normally wouldn't.

He jumped on top of Naruto, and started to suck on his neck.

Of course, Kakashi chose _just_ that moment to walk in.

"Remember to use protection, boys. I don't want any STDs in this household." _Or any male pregnancies._ He added mentally. It wasn't possible, but he felt the urge to think it.

"Save me!" Naruto screamed at Kakashi.

"Why?"

"Because I'm about to be molested!"

"And that's a bad thing?"

"…" Naruto thought about it for a second. If he _had_ to be raped, was being raped by Sasuke really the worst thing that could happen? It could be _much_ worse. It could be Neji. Neji didn't seem the type to be gentle the first time.

"That's what I thought. Like I said, use protection!" with those words, Kakashi left the two.

"I'm sorry, Naruto," Sasuke said, as he got up to go to the bathroom. He suddenly felt the urge to pee again.

"…" Naruto said nothing.

Sasuke shrugged and went to the bathroom. He and Naruto had the day off, and he wouldn't waste it.

**With Iruka**

Upon seeing Kakashi return into the room, Iruka began the Spanish inquisition. "Well? What was going on? What'd you say? Who screamed?"

Kakashi stood there for a moment. "I think Sasuke was about to molest Naruto, but don't worry, I told them to use protection. I think it was Naruto that screamed."

Iruka fumed up. "You… mean… they were about to have … sex… and all you said was 'use protection'?"

"Yes."

"What type of a father _are_ you?"

"One that doesn't care. Besides, Sasuke never really thought of me as his father."

"You aren't his father?"

"No… What would make you think that?"

"I just thought…"

"Nope. I'm not his father. Just a family friend."

"Then, his family…?" Iruka let the question linger in the air.

"Look, you have to work today, and so do I. Let's shower," Kakashi put in a pause. "Hopefully together?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"Get… out… now…" Iruka raised his fist slowly, to accentuate his point.

"Fine…" With a pout, Kakashi was out (A/N: Didn't mean to make that rhyme! XD).

**With Sasuke**

A newly relieved Sasuke walked into the bedroom he shared with Naruto. However, Naruto was nowhere to be seen.

"Naruto?" Sasuke cautiously asked. Kakashi and Iruka had just left for work. Was Itachi finally back to kill his new family? Sasuke prayed against it, as he grabbed the crowbar from the corner and opened the door to his bedroom. _God, no. Not Naruto… Please, anyone but Naruto…_

He walked out to find the house eerily quiet. _Just like that day…_ Sasuke thought. _The day everything was taken from me…_

He slowly made his way to the kitchen, and he held the crowbar above his head as he opened the door.

Luckily, Itachi wasn't there, and Naruto was alive. However, there was one _awkward_ part to the whole deal.

It appeared as though Naruto was masturbating in the kitchen.

It also appeared that Naruto did not see Sasuke come into the kitchen with a crowbar raised above his head.

And (to Sasuke's dismay), it appeared that Naruto was close to the edge.

Any other person would just quietly leave the blonde to the movements of his hand, and excessive moaning. However, Sasuke was not any other person. Sasuke was horny, and Sasuke wanted to see this. So, Sasuke stood in place, watching his blonde moaning, and caressing his member.

"Mm…" Naruto moaned, as he stroked his member at a faster pace. Sasuke could tell he was getting very close to the edge. "Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed, as some white fluid shot out of his pants, and onto the chair.

Sasuke couldn't take it anymore, and fainted from a _very_ excessive nosebleed.

"Sasuke?" Naruto looked over at Sasuke, who was on the floor, with some blood pooling out of his nose, and a crowbar. above his head. "Sasuke?" Naruto began to shake Sasuke.

**An hour later**

Sasuke woke up; feeling like a truck hit him. "Erg… Naruto?"

"Sasuke? Are you okay?" Naruto asked, the concern apparent in his voice.

"Y-yeah… I'm fine," Sasuke said, and then all was silent for a moment.

"S-Sasuke?" Naruto began nervously.

"Yes?" Sasuke asked, ready for whatever the blonde may throw at him. Physically or verbally.

"H-how long were you watching?"

Sasuke paused. _Should I answer truthfully or lie? If I answer truthfully, he could hate me. Wait, he already does…Well, here goes._ "Long enough."

Naruto blushed for a moment. "W-why?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto in disbelief. Naruto wasn't going to kill him? "Well, like I have probably shown, I want you."

Naruto blushed again. "R-really?" He looked away, now trying to hide the _very_ apparent blush.

"Yes, really. Now a question for you, moron," Sasuke said. A smirk was making its way to Sasuke's face.

"G-go ahead." Naruto was once again blushing. _If I keep blushing at this rate, I'll probably not only look like a tomato, I'll turn into one!_ Naruto thought.

"Why were you jacking off in the kitchen?" Sasuke asked, as if he was asking how the weather was.

"Well, um…"

"Go ahead, it's no one but us here, moron."

"Stop calling me a moron, bastard! Anyways, I was jacking off because you started doing that thing to my neck."

"You mean this?" Sasuke said, as he started sucking on Naruto's neck again.

"A-ah, y-yes… t-that…" Naruto said, not believing the amazing sensations running through his system.

"So, would you like help?" Sasuke asked, slowly moving his hand closer and closer to Naruto's crotch.

"W-wait a second, bastard! I-I'm not ready!" Naruto said, as he hastily pushed Sasuke off of him.

"That's alright, I'm willing to wait." Sasuke gave a final nip at Naruto's neck, before standing up and walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Naruto asked angrily.

"I'm going to clean up that mess you made in the kitchen. It's not like you'll help. Besides, you probably need to fix that same problem again," Sasuke said, pointing at the growing "problem" in Naruto's pants. "Unless you want me to fix it, of course."

"L-leave now!" Naruto said, throwing a pillow at Sasuke.

"As you wish," Sasuke said as he left.

Naruto was left alone in the room. Stunned, he put his fingers to his neck. _Does this mean we're an item now?_

**With Iruka**

Iruka sighed. He _hated_ grading papers. That's why he'd normally get the students to trade and grade. Essays were hell. Unfortunately, his debate class demanded the ability to write essays. Just as he was about to read another essay about Darfur for a student congress, he heard a knock at the door.

"Come on in," Iruka said, desperate for something to do other than grade essays. Essays were horrid.

"Hello, Mr. Umino," Kakashi made himself known. "How would you like to go for lunch?"

Iruka glanced at the clock. It was already noon. He hadn't even gotten half of his grading done. _Well, it looks like work is coming home with me anyways._ "Sure, why not?"

Kakashi smiled. _Yay! Iruka's coming to lunch with me. Wonder if he'll let me pay for him too?_

"Where are we going, Kakashi?" Iruka said, as he stood up to leave.

"Wherever you want." Kakashi said quickly.

"Kakashi, you choose. I'd hate to choose a place you hate."

"How about something quick? I have some art to grade, and it looks like you have some papers of your own to grade." Kakashi pointed at the essays.

"That sounds good." _Well, so much for a long lunch away from the sufferings of mankind._

"Well, where do you want to go?" Kakashi asked.

"Like I said, I'd hate to choose somewhere you hated!" Iruka said.

"I'll eat anything. Hurry up and choose. I'm hungry," Kakashi looked at Iruka with pleading eyes.

"H-how about Ichiraku? It's pretty close to here, and it's pretty cheap!" Iruka looked at Kakashi with hopeful eyes.

"That sounds wonderful," Kakashi said as he inched closer to Iruka. He then proceeded to pick Iruka up.

"W-wait! What are you doing?" Iruka started hitting Kakashi's arms, but to no avail.

"What does it look like? I'm carrying you." Kakashi began to walk out the door, with Iruka in his arms. _Let's see if he'll give in._

"Kakashi! Put me down! What if you drop me?" Iruka began hitting Kakashi's back.

"Well, I might if you keep hitting me. I definitely won't if you don't, though."

"What if I weigh a lot?" Iruka blushed. He _hated_ mentioning his weight. Even if he weighed one hundred and forty pounds, and was skinny for his height (about five feet seven inches), he was self-conscious.

"You don't weigh as much as Gai."

"How does he factor into this?" Iruka flinched, as Kakashi opened the doors to the school and continued walking.

"I've had to carry him before," Kakashi said, shuddering at the thought of the smelly armpits.

"Might I ask why?"

"No," Kakashi said plainly. "By the way, we're here." _Part one of operation table is complete. _

"Then put me down!"

"Not until we get to our seats."

"Why?"

"Because I like having you in my arms." At that comment, Iruka blushed.

They ate their lunch in silence, and as Iruka stood to get up, Kakashi was in front of him.

"Oh, no you don't. I'm carrying you back, too."

"I'm fine, Kakashi. I can walk on my own, really."

"Fine. But you owe me for this. Bill, please."

"Kakashi, I can pay, really. It's not that much." Iruka was dead serious. He _hated_ to be in debt to a fellow teacher.

"No, I want to pay," Kakashi re-assured his fellow teacher. He wanted to make sure that Iruka would stay in debt until later on that day. He had some _great_ ideas about collecting.

"Are you sure? I'm more that willing to pay my half, at least."

"No. I want to pay for all of it. I'm sure."

"Only if you're really sure."

"I'm really sure." _Part two of plan, complete. Now, part three. Iruka will do it on a table. _

"Kakashi? Is something wrong? You have a really scary look in your eyes," Iruka said, looking at Kakashi with nothing less than absolute concern and fear in his eyes.

"No, I'm fine."

"Maybe I should take you home early. You really look scary," Iruka said, lifting his hand to touch Kakashi's forehead.

Kakashi grabbed Iruka's hand, and kissed each finer. "I'm fine, really."

Iruka blushed at the simplistic gesture. "I-if you say so…"

"And I do say so."

Kakashi paid the waiter, and they got up to leave the restaurant. They slowly made their way back to the school, Kakashi walking a few steps behind Iruka. _He has an **incredible** ass… I have to have it. _Kakashi thought, as he eyed Iruka hungrily.

As they got back into the school, Iruka noticed Kakashi was still following him. "Isn't your classroom that way, Kakashi?"

"It is."

"Then why are you coming this way?"

"I want to see you back."

"That's very kind of you."

"Thank you. I try."

As the two got closer to Iruka's classroom, Iruka couldn't help but feel nervous. Normally Kakashi would do anything possible to avoid him, or so it seemed. It was a mystery to Iruka as to why Kakashi was following him.

"Um, Kakashi?"

"Yes?"

"I'm at my class. Shouldn't you go back to your classroom now?"

"Let's make sure there's nothing bad in your classroom," Kakashi answered almost automatically.

"O…K?" Iruka was confused as to why Kakashi was so intent on spending time with him.

Iruka opened the door to his class and sighed in mock relief. "See? Nothing in here. You should start… Hey! What are you doing?" Iruka stopped mid-sentence to acknowledge the fact that Kakashi was licking his neck.

"Isn't it obvious? I believe I'm licking you," Kakashi answered before going back to the task at hand.

"I mean, why are you doing it?" Iruka asked. He yanked Kakashi's head up from its current position.

"I'm doing it because I thought you'd like it," Kakashi said, disappointed. _So much for fucking him on the table_. However, as Kakashi got up to leave, Iruka surprised him.

"I-it's not that I don't want it… It's just that this is very sudden." Iruka was blushing to the degree where he could not only be mistaken for a tomato, but also for a red bouncy ball, a radish, or a new shade of lipstick for ladies of the night.

"Is that so? Then, how about this?" Kakashi said, as he slowly undid the button on Iruka's pants.

"Mm… Kakashi… That's… nice…" Iruka was panting and gasping for more. It was very evident he hadn't been touched intimately for quite a while. He responded so wonderfully.

"And… this?" Kakashi asked, as he quickly slid his hand into Iruka's boxers, and grabbed Iruka's member with his hand.

"Ah!" Iruka nearly came at the very light stroke he just received. "F-fuck me, Kakashi!" Iruka grabbed onto Kakashi, and kissed him hard on the lips.

Kakashi smiled against the kiss. _Back to fucking him on the table, then._ He broke the kiss, and licked Iruka's earlobe. "Then I need you to do something for me."

Iruka panted, as though every breath he took could be his last. "W-what?"

"I need you to suck on my fingers. I don't want it to hurt the first time for you, all right?"

"I-it's not my f-first," Iruka said shamefully. "T-this is my second time…"

Kakashi could not believe it. Iruka certainly did seem like the type to have not done it in his twenty-seven years of existence. "Alright, then you should be a little used to the concept, right?"

"N-not really… I n-need to know what to do…" Iruka was panting even harder, and grabbed Kakashi's crotch, to show his evident need for release.

"Alright, suck on my digits, then I'll stretch this," Kakashi used his other hand to ghost over Iruka's opening, "and then, I'll put this," Kakashi moved Iruka's hand closer to the head of his throbbing member, "into this," Kakashi once again moved his own hand closer to Iruka's opening. "Make sense?"

Iruka nodded, and immediately took Kakashi's fingers into his mouth. Kakashi moaned at the warmness of the cavity. Everything Iruka did was very erotic. _Does Iruka know how sexy he is right now? It should be a crime, I swear…_"That's enough, Iruka. I can get them in with this amount." Kakashi slowly slid a lone finger into Iruka's firm opening.

Iruka squirmed at the discomfort he felt.

"Relax," Kakashi said, as he kissed Iruka's neck. Iruka nodded to the command, and relaxed. Kakashi then began to move his finger around. Iruka gasped at the feeling as Kakashi hit a certain spot inside of him.

"You like that?" Kakashi whispered to Iruka. Iruka nodded, and moaned what sounded like "yes".

Hearing Iruka moan was nearly enough to send Kakashi over the edge. However, he needed to get inside Iruka. He wanted to cum inside of Iruka. He moved Iruka closer to the table, and bent Iruka over the table. He proceeded to put in another finger, and began to scissor Iruka.

As Iruka moaned once more, Kakashi entered him swiftly. He silenced Iruka's protest with a kiss, telling him the real pleasure would start soon.

Slowly, Kakashi began to move in and out of Iruka. After a few moments, however, Iruka was pushing up against Kakashi, moaning for him to move faster.

Kakashi was more than happy to comply.

As Kakashi moved faster and faster, hitting Iruka's secret spot every time, he felt Iruka's inner muscles tense. Iruka was close to the edge, and he was going to make it as pleasurable as possible. He grabbed Iruka's dick and began pumping it faster and faster.

Iruka's world exploded into a world of white and pleasure. He could not believe how it felt. It felt like flying, but he had something solid to fall back on.

Just moments after Iruka's world exploded, Kakashi's world joined it. He had orgasms before, of course. Still, none were as intense as this one. As he felt it finish, he also wondered if Iruka knew he was this good in bed.

Kakashi leaned over to kiss Iruka. The kiss was sloppy for the two were tired from previous dealings. However, as Kakashi pulled out of Iruka, he stood to leave.

"Kakashi?"

"I'm sorry, Iruka."

"Kakashi?"

"I know you must hate me now."

"Kakashi…"

"But, I want you to know that nothing will stop me from seeing you. I love you too damn much."

"Kakashi."

"I'm sorry. I promise that I'll be out of your house once I find an apartment to live in."

"Kakashi!"

"I mean, it's not like-"

Iruka decided if Kakashi wouldn't respond to his name, he would respond to a kiss. "I want you in my house, I want you in my life, and I want you in my heart! No more 'I'm sorry's. I want you. I need you!"

Kakashi was silent from his ramblings. He was shocked speechless. Someone wanted him? He found no words to describe how he felt, so he kissed Iruka instead. As he held Iruka, he finally felt a sense of belonging somewhere. _Well, it looks like Sasuke and I are living in the Umino household permanently._

Kakashi couldn't help but smile against the kiss.

**End Chapter**

Whew! That was the longest chapter yet! Man, that was fun… So many reviews, too! 151! Man, it made me all happy. It also made me do my happy dance (I'm serious, A-chan can attest to that).

Along that note, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to MusicLuvre and A-chan. Even thogh A-chan is tickling my neck right now (I think she wants to read it (especially the lemon)). Wait, she moved onto my boobies! No! Not my boobies! (XD)

Well, other than that, I'd like to note a one-shot has come out, and I wrote it. It's short, but I figure it's worth a visit! So, go visit it! I'm also going to post a new multi-chapter story soon, and it's a Leesaku, with hints of Sasunaru! So, I think all you lovely readers would enjoy that (or so I hope!). This is also the reason why I didn't post anything for a week. I was at the beach! It was so much fun… There were so many hot guys I wanted to make make out with one another! XD

Speaking of you lovely readers, here are the replies to the bunches of reviews I got!

Midnight Shining Star: Thanks for reading! I'm glad I can post this, at long last!

Sasuke2006: I really liked that scene, too! It made me giggle a lot…

Blue-genjutsu: Lee's a match-maker and doesn't know it! I will have to write in a scene where he discovers this (even if the world might 'splode.)

Tea: I would get upset, too! You have no idea about the evil-ness of policy debate! I'm glad I get the summer off! (smiles)

Sibbie: Well, at times it's hard to imagine any couple working out! Especially with Sasuke's man-bitchy-ness… XD

Uzumaki Ryooki: It's sort of riverdancing, but we do something that's like clogging, too… It's an insane thing! I wrote the squirrels in because of my fear of them… God, I hate squirrels… I sort of took your advice, but not really… I just thought it would be a good thing to do!

NycetaScandiaca: I hope this chapter came out at a more convenient time!

MusicLuvre: I enjoy your awesome PM! I shall send a reply once I'm all caught up on fanfiction… I really need to check everywhere for updates and stuff… I think I might die, though… O.o

Shadows.4leaf.Clover: Oh! Do be nice and donate! It would be awesome if you did! Other than that, I hope you really liked this chapter!

Kari no Tenshi: Yep. Irish dance. It kills me… Chances are I'll start helping with the summer camps… Fun. Little children clinging to me.

Silver fox aka vash: Nah, I think I'll put him, Lee, and Sakura in a threesome. I might add Neji, but I feel he and Tenten would be awesome together, for some reason…

Black Gravitation: I tried to get those two to do it for me, but they were nowhere to be found. So, I just put it on Iruka. Kakashi jumped on him and enjoyed desert! I sold the tape on e-Bay. Good times, good times… XD

FMA-lover16: I hope you liked this chapter, too!

SweetMusic-01: I feel very special! (glomps) I hope you find time to read and review this chapter, too!

Avila7989: I thought it would make for a cute scene. Glad you liked it!

Imari-chan: Hooray! Someone likes the new summary! I throw a party for you! XD

Chiyo: I might… But you of all people know of my fears! And now I have to worry about you on the road… Dear god, I think I'll die! (Other reviewers, don't worry if I die. Chiyo will probably kill me if I do.)

Chi no hana: I'm glad you liked that scene, too! I was afraid it would be too fluffy, or something…

swtTom0-chan93: Well, you found out what happened! Hope you liked it!

ServantofFate65: Hooray! I got you in a good mood! That makes me a happy person!

Losthimagain: Yes, they are. Except for pot. XD

Bo bo's angel: It appears this squirrel has its own little fanclub going! XD

Red Asatari: Well, here you have a lemon! Hope it was good for you…

Sasura: Yay! A new reviewer! And if your friends liked that scene, get them to review, too! We shall have a reviewing party!

Noroi-Inu: I know… Naru-chan can be such a moron… It made me sad. But, now he's wising up! Yay!

Well, that's all for now, folks! You read, so let's review!


	16. Part 16

Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

_Disclaim-y Goodness: I don't own, you don't sue, alright? Alright. _

**With Iruka**

Iruka solemnly swore that he would no longer have sex in a classroom any longer. The mess was simply (to put it bluntly) too messy to clean up. What's worse is that he _still_ had papers to grade. Sure, Kakashi made it good, but Iruka was seriously beginning to question if it was good _enough_ to have to clean up this mess. Kakashi could have _at least_ helped. But _no_, Kakashi just _had_ to grade those _interesting_ art projects.

"Oh, come on, you know you liked it, _Iruka_," Kakashi said, as he stepped into the classroom.

"Fine, Kakashi. Just bring me the trashcan." Of course, Kakashi complied. So long as he didn't have to clean, who cared?

"Umm… Iruka?"

"Yes, Kakashi?" Iruka asked, while he was throwing away paper towels with some _questionable_ stains on them.

"Did you _really_ mean it when you said 'I want you in my life'?" At this point, Kakashi was looking at his shoes.

Iruka turned away from what he was doing, and he looked Kakashi straight in the eye. "Yes, I meant it Kakashi. Every word."

Kakashi then broke into a small smile. "Guess this means that I'll be canceling that appointment with the real estate agent, huh?"

Iruka smiled back. "I guess so, Kakashi. I guess so."

"Well, that's good! He said he was worried about having to look for an apartment with dogs!" Kakashi gave what appeared to be a huge smile.

"… Dogs?" Iruka looked at Kakashi as though he had two heads.

"Didn't I tell you? I have about seven dogs, and one just gave a litter. Of course, my dogs are like a family, and I figured you wouldn't want little puppy terrors running around your house, if I was just staying there temporarily. So, I had my friend Asuma take care of them while I was away." Kakashi paused and took a deep breathe. "Then again, if you're asking, I suppose I didn't tell me."

"Damn straight!" Iruka was glaring at Kakashi. He didn't hate dogs, but he certainly wasn't _used_ to them.

"Ah, Iruka, here I thought you were gay."

"Th-that's not the issue! Why do you have so many dogs?"

"Well, I heard they make good companions. I just wanted to see if that was true." Kakashi paused for a moment. "I will admit they _are_ man's best friend. Then again, when you were living with I-am-such-a-freaking-heap-of-sunshine-now-get-your-ass-out-of-my-room Sasuke, I suppose _anything_ would seem like a good companion." Kakashi nodded his head, as if he was agreeing with himself.

"… How many puppies?" Iruka asked, seemingly calmer.

"Seven dogs, plus …" Kakashi counted on his fingers. "Nine pups." Kakashi looked blank for a moment. "Hey! That's sixteen dogs!"

Iruka stood in shock for a moment. "Are… you giving away any pups?"

Kakashi stood in horror. "And separate them from their mother? Never!"

Iruka stood there. So, this man was a pervert, dog-loving, not caring father-figure? How many sides were there to this man? "So… What do you suggest we do? There is simply _not_ enough room in the back yard for all the dogs. You know how small our backyard is!"

"Back…yard?" Kakashi's eye twitched.

"Isn't that where you normally keep dogs?"

"Never! They stay in the home. Think of how cold their paws will get in winter!"

"Alright… But, there's even less room in the house! Your bedroom simply is not enough room for _sixteen_ dogs."

"That's why I'm sleeping with you!"

Iruka stood there. Was _this_ how the mind of a psycho worked? First, go into someone's house, whom you had already met once. Then, you steal half of their bedroom… _without_ their permission? It seemed quite crazy for Iruka. "And… the dogs get a room all to themselves?"

"No! The puppies and their mother and father, plus two of the other dogs! The rest of the dogs sleep with us!"

"… Kakashi?"

"Yes?"

"That's three dogs."

"So?"

"_Three _dogs, Kakashi. _Three_."

"That's not more than seven!"

Iruka sighed. There was no getting around this. "Fine."

"So when do you want the dogs?"

"Whenever works."

"Tonight? Great!" Kakashi scurried out of the school.

"He… just left me alone again… didn't he?" Iruka asked himself, as he put the trashcan back.

**With Sasuke**

Sasuke was sitting in the kitchen, eating lunch with Naruto, when he heard a loud bang from the front door. Naruto stood up, and Sasuke (being the paranoid person he is) stopped him.

"Sasuke, what's the matter?"

"Sh." Sasuke (attempted to) shove Naruto under the table. He stood, grabbed the crowbar (which was left there from earlier that morning), and waited at the door.

"Sasuke! I have great news!" Sasuke heard Kakashi's voice, and sighed. At least it was the lesser of two evils.

"What is it, Kakashi?"

"Hello Sasuke! I love the world!" Kakashi moved to kiss Sasuke, but Sasuke slapped him.

"You've gone hysteric. Stop it. Now. You're scaring me."

"No! It's good news, I promise!" Kakashi moved in to kiss Sasuke again, but this time he was hit with a (relatively) hard tap on the back with our old friend, Mr. Crowbar.

"Next time I won't be so gentle."

"But Sasuke, I'm sure you were gentle with Naruto, right?"

Sasuke stood there, before moving in to kill Kakashi with Mr. Crowbar, but Naruto stopped him. "Sasuke! Don't hurt him!"

Sasuke sighed. "Fine…" Even he was not immune to the amazing powers of Naruto's power over him.

"Now, Kakashi, what is so important you're kissing Sasuke for?"

"Naruto! Naruto, Naruto, Naruto…" Kakashi grinned at Naruto like a maniac. "Dear, sweet Naruto!" Kakashi hugged Naruto.

Sasuke glared at Kakashi. How _dare_ Kakashi touch _his_ Naruto.

"Sasuke! Join in!" Kakashi was smiling. The _bastard _was _smiling_.

"No."

"Fine." Kakashi pouted, and continued to hug Naruto.

"What is it Kakashi?" Naruto asked, while struggling to get away from Kakashi.

"Oh, Naruto! Naruto, my boy!"

Naruto sat there, now realizing it was futile to get out of Kakashi's death grip.

"Spit it out, Kakashi." Sasuke was _not_ happy with Naruto in Kakashi's arms.

"But I don't have anything in my mouth!" Kakashi thought for a moment. "Oh, I better call to get the dogs here!" With that, Kakashi left.

"Dogs?" Naruto looked at Sasuke for an explanation.

Sasuke stood there for a moment. Kakashi would _never_ introduce the dogs to a new environment unless they were staying in the place for a while (a while meaning their new home). That's why he would always have Mrs. Haruno or Asuma (their other neighbor) take care of the dogs. "I think we're moving out…"

"What? That can't be it? Why would Kakashi be happy about that?"

"I… I don't know…" Sasuke was evidently shaken.

Naruto seemed sad for a moment. "Wait… Why would he call for the dogs now? Shouldn't you move your junk in first?"

"I guess… But Kakashi's weird." Sasuke stood up. "Want to help me pack my stuff?"

Naruto stood. "Alright…"

Somehow, it didn't feel right. _Kakashi had a crush on Iruka, didn't he? Why would he leave now, unless… Oh, no…Don't tell me he molested Iruka. _Sasuke paused in his thoughts for a moment. _Wait…If he did molest Iruka, how could he have found an apartment this fast? Especially one that allows…How many puppies were in that litter? 7? No, I think nine…Seven other dogs…sixteen dogs. My god, was it that bad? Did he even work today?_ Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows. _I'm not leaving Naruto today. That's it. I'm calling Iruka, apologizing, and then I'm going to stop Kakashi from moving. _

"Naruto, can I borrow your phone?"

"Why?" Naruto asked, concerned.

"I need to make plans."

"Umm… Alright." Naruto handed Sasuke his cell phone. _I don't get it. Sasuke only has a few hours left with me and he's calling some other kid? What if Sasuke just wants me for sex? Ah, I knew I couldn't-_ Naruto's thoughts were cut off with Sasuke's talking on the phone.

"Iruka?"

"_Yes, Sasuke?"_ Iruka answered on the other line.

"I'm sorry for whatever Kakashi did to you."

"_Huh?"_ Iruka sounded confused. _How does Sasuke know what Kakashi and I did?_

"I mean, please don't force him out of your home…"

"_Umm… Sasuke?"_ Iruka now sounded nervous.

"I have to go now. Don't worry. I'll yell at Kakashi."

"_Wait! Sasuke!"_ Iruka heard a beep on the other line that signified Sasuke had hung up.

Naruto stood to the side, as Sasuke walked downstairs. Meanwhile, Iruka was desperately trying to reach Kakashi.

Well, Iruka won the race.

"_Kakashi?"_

Kakashi sighed with happiness when he heard Iruka's voice. "Hello, love!"

Sasuke heard those words and stopped at the door. Kakashi was seeing someone else? No wonder Iruka kicked him out. _I'll wait for those two to finish up. I'll talk some sense into Kakashi, and then I'll kill his mystery lover._

"_Kakashi, have I done anything to make it seem like I'm kicking you out?"_

"Of course not! Why?"

"_I just got a call from Sasuke. He acted like you're moving out."_

"Moving out, dearest?"

Sasuke flinched outside of the room. _Oh, great. Now his new lover's moving in with us. I pray it's not someone like that Kabuto. He was **way** too weird. God, not another Kabuto…_

"_Yeah… It was very strange…He also apologized for you. Does he have psychic abilities?"_

"Hmm… I don't think he'd know…"

Sasuke was about ready to blow up at Kakashi. _He's just rubbing it in! I feel horrible for Iruka…_

"_Well, at least make sure he knows you're staying here. I don't want to come home and find Naruto and Sasuke all up in knots because they think you're leaving here. As it is, I have to worry about midterms."_

"Alright, honey. No need to worry. I'll take care of it."

Sasuke now was in horror. _Is he going to kill Iruka? No, no, no! Why is it that every time I have a family, they turn into murderers? Wait… This time, Naruto's at risk! Naruto!_ With that thought, Sasuke ran up the stairs.

"_Alright… you mind starting dinner tonight, for me?"_

"You don't want me to. I once burnt water."

"_I'll make it worth your while if you do a good job." _Iruka said, hinting at something even better than cheesecake.

"Alright, Iruka! I'll get right to it after talking to Naruto and Sasuke. See you later?"

"_Of course! I should be home in about an hour. I just have a few more papers to grade."_

With that, Kakashi hung up. _Guess I get to talk to Naruto and Sasuke. Goodie. _

**With Naruto**

Naruto was looking through Sasuke's things, when Sasuke burst in through the door. "S-Sasuke?"

"Naruto! Get down! Kakashi's a murderer!"

Naruto's eyes widened a little. "Huh?"

Sasuke was holding Naruto tight. "Let me tell you this, now, Naruto. If anything were to happen to me or you, I'd like you to know… I love you, Naruto. I love every part of you! I love the way you look, I love the way you walk, and I love the way you get all flustered! I've loved you since I was five years old!"

Naruto gasped at the confession. The dream _did_ have a base in reality. Sasuke _was_ the one who wrote that. "Sasuke… I-I…"

Kakashi chose just that moment to walk in. "Sasuke, get off of Naruto. I want to tell you something. It seems there was a misunderstanding…"

"Damn right, Kakashi!" Sasuke spun around, and glared at Kakashi. "I didn't know I was living with a murderer!"

"What?" Kakashi looked very confused.

"Admit it! You're going to murder Iruka and Naruto, then leave me all alone, while you run away with your secret lover!"

"Kill… Iruka?" Kakashi said, as if the two words were never to be used together.

"Yes. Wait… Wasn't that what you were talking about on the phone?"

"You mean I was talking about killing Iruka while I was on the phone with Iruka?"

"…"

"Tell me, why would I kill Iruka?"

"To show no proof that you raped him?" Sasuke seemed confused, and was now blushing.

"Raped… Iruka? No, he seemed quite willing." Kakashi nodded his own head, as if to agree with his own statement.

"Then, why are you moving out?" Sasuke seemed utterly confused. Naruto seemed to be disgusted at the fact that Iruka had done… _it_ with Kakashi. The only time they were alone was in the classroom!

_Wait..._ Naruto thought. _If Iruka was alone with Kakashi only when they were in the classroom, then… Ack! I'm never entering either classroom again!_

"Moving… out?" Kakashi was confused, yet again. "Sasuke, why would I move out? What made you think that?"

"Well, you were calling for the dogs, and you only do that if we have a… home?" Sasuke pointed at the house.

"Home." Kakashi nodded.

"Oh."

"Right, then. If you understand that, then I'm going to go make dinner."

"No!" Sasuke grabbed onto Kakashi.

"What? Why not?"

"For the love of God, Kakashi, you're an awful cook! You're going to burn down the home!"

"No, I won't. Cross my heart and hope to die!" Kakashi smiled childishly.

"… I'm going to make dinner."

"Alright, then," Kakashi said, as he left the room and turned towards his own.

"Don't tell me you meant for this to happen?" Sasuke yelled at Kakashi's retreating form.

"Yep. I did," Kakashi waved Sasuke off, as he turned towards his room. "Hey, Naruto? Could you help an old man with something?"

"Sure!" Naruto said, but just as he was about to leave, Sasuke stopped him.

"Wait."

"What is it, Sasuke?" Naruto looked at Sasuke.

Sasuke leaned down and kissed Naruto on the lips. "That."

Naruto nodded, and scurried off to help Kakashi, while Sasuke stood and smiled. _Maybe I'm not cursed after all?_

**End Chapter**

Whelp, Sasuke and Naruto are now an official couple. However, I still did leave you with a few questions, right? If not, I'll list them… XD

What does Kakashi need Naruto's help with?

Will Iruka make it home?

Is Sasuke's cooking good, or as bad as Kakashi's?

Are the puppies cute?

If so, will you end up hugging them?

What of Project: Sasunaru? Will those involved be out of a job?

Are you tired of questions?

Yeppers, that should just about do it. xD Now, to reply to you lovely reviewers.

Sasuke2006: I'm glad it made you laugh! I shall bring happiness to all the people of fanfiction! XD

Midnight Shining Star: Hotness is good, isn't it? XD

NycetaScandiaca: I'm actually thinking about making a story based on those chapters! I think it'd be awesome, and a fast write. Do I have your permission to use that story line? Thanks for pointing out all the typos! I hope my beta gets the beta-ed version out soon… Other than that, I'm glad you liked my chapter! It was fun to write!

Noroi-Inu: Yep, they sure did! Believe it! XD

Avilia7989: As always, a good review. Thank you!

Kari No Tenshi: Indeed! Kakashi needs action, being the bloody pervert he is! Though, I don't think it was that bad… Just a few paragraphs.

Tea: What things will happen… Well, it involves insults, bitchy Iruka, and puppies.

Chiyo: That's… assuring. I'm still running away if I see you in a car. I might make another chapter like this, when I'm riding up to vacation.

Silver fox aka vash: It is cute, isn't it?

Makkura Arashi: Love your name! Sorry about the late update! XD

MusicLurver: Of course he chapter was dedicated to you! You talk about boy-sex with me! And you put up with my insanity on a (now) day-to-day basis! XD

FXL: Indeed it was!

Black Gravitation: Oh! Energy drink! Thanksies!

Sweet-Music01: I finished another one-shot! Go read it if you haven't already! XD

Phantomsnow: I thank you for reading!

swtTom0-chan93: It's like they're in jail. But willingly. And maybe they'll put handcuffs on their captors. X3

losthimagain: Glad you like it!

uzumaki ryooki: You write long reviews… Thanks for those! X3 To answer your question, some men do get nosebleeds when sexually aroused. I should know (one of my friends does; I feel so sorry for him!). Your review made me giggle. Cover your eyes, indeed! XD Hmmm… I have mad skillz when it comes to typing. It's like breathing. I can't stop. Ever.

Red Asatari: I'm sure your exams went fine! If I can get an "A" in all my classes, I'm sure you can do better!

Sibbielee113: You should know now what Kakashi wants Naruto to help him with (solemnly nods). You guessed it. Porn re-positioning time. XD

Sasura: (gets out cream) (splashes it on Naruto) Lick it off Sasuke! X3

Blue-genjutsu: You know Sasuke will pressure Naruto into _it_ sooner or later. (nod) If not, I have failed you as a Sasunaru authoress!

Sexyspoonswillrullusall: Can I marry your screenname? X3

Feikaze: A new reviewer! Thanks for your support!

Imari-chan: The party we threw for you was crazy, man. Sasuke started humping Naruto, and Naruto moaned. And it was good. X3

Well, review! I really want to get 300 reviews this chapter (this going out to those who have me on their alert lists, yet don't review)! Thanksies! X3


	17. Part 17

Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

_Disclaim/ notes: I don't own anything but the plot, and most of the jokes. I cannot believe I've passed 300 reviews! I love you guys so much! (hands out cookies) If you guys want art, a story (preferably a one-shot), or anything else (nothing too bad) feel free to ask! _

**With Naruto**

"Well, Kakashi, what was it you wanted help with?" Naruto asked Kakashi warily. He knew Kakashi was a pervert (who else would have a teenaged sex ed. class read the Sutra?), and he wasn't sure if he felt comfortable in the room with Kakashi.

"I… need you, Naruto." Kakashi spoke slowly, as though he were making a point.

"Ka…kashi?" Naruto was looking at Kakashi, fear in his eyes. Didn't Kakashi hook up with Iruka?

"After all, I can't carry all my porn into the safe alone!" Kakashi grinned at his statement, as if to mock Naruto even more.

Naruto immediately glared at Kakashi. _I was about to scream "RAPE!" for nothing?_

"What?" Kakashi looked at Naruto then pointed to the wall. "Don't you see the safe?"

Naruto looked at the wall Kakashi was pointing to. "Erm… Not really."

"Well, that's because you didn't see this!" Kakashi took a book out of the shelf, and pressed a button which was hidden behind the book. The wall then flipped around to reveal a rather large vault. Naruto's jaw dropped.

_When the hell did he put this in?_ Naruto stood in awe, staring at the giant, titanium structure.

"I put this in the moment dear Iruka started threatening my lovely books."

"More like smut…" Naruto mumbled.

"They are not smut!" Kakashi said with a shocked expression on his face. "They're art!"

Naruto looked at Kakashi. "Art? Does art talk about boobs non-stop? Does art say…?" Naruto picked up one of Kakashi's books, and began to read aloud, "'When Kimiko realized the Tazuno was cheating on her with that mistress, with heaving breasts, she immediately sought comfort with Junko. Burying her face into Junko's ample chest, Kimiko began to cry wet tears. Tears that showed the lacy structures of Junko's bra, which was beginning to get wet, piece by piece. Bit by bit.

'Kimiko was afraid of Junko catching a cold, and removed Junko's shirt and bra. Junko's heaving breasts popped out of the structure, showing the erect nipples.'? Well, does art say things like that?" Naruto was glaring at Kakashi.

"Well… yes. It talks about the intricate patterns on Junko's bra later on in the book." Kakashi looked at Naruto, as if Naruto would find some form of understanding.

Naruto just stared at Kakashi. "… So… Why?"

"Well, my dear Naruto, if Iruka is threatening my books, and I am to stay with you two, I need them to be protected. Now help an old man move all these educational materials," Kakashi said as he picked up the first of many pornographic materials.

Naruto, who was speechless, could not do anything but pick up a book, and help Kakashi move his precious reading to the vault. _I'm probably going straight to hell for this…_

**With Sasuke**

Sasuke stared at the kitchen. This was _just_ cooking, right? He'd seen his mother and Mrs. Haruno do it millions of times. It couldn't be that hard.

… Right?

Well, Sasuke did not know where to start. So he started with what he felt was best. He took out a pot and some water. _Where do you put a pot if you need it to boil?_ Sasuke wondered. _Aha! The oven!_ With that, Sasuke poured the water into the pot, and stuck it in the oven, setting the timer for 30 minutes.

_I'm so good._

**With Iruka**

Iruka had just graded his last paper, and was on his way home when he smelt something burning. Of course, he assumed it wasn't coming from his house, so he walked on happily. After all, he just got together with his pervert of a crush, he had finished all his work, and his house was no longer empty. Sure, Naruto still kept him company, but Iruka was very sad. So, now that he has a boyfriend, Iruka is _very_ happy.

However, upon returning to his home, Iruka would find himself not-so-happy. In fact, you could even say he was angry. Then again, anyone would find themselves angry if they came home to a burning pot with some brown stuff in it in the front lawn.

"Kakashi! Get your ass down here!" Iruka screamed at the house, which was seemingly unharmed.

Kakashi poked his head out of his new home and looked at Iruka innocently. "Sasuke did it!"

Iruka sighed. Maybe adults really were like children. Kakashi sure acted the part. "What is that brown stuff?"

"Water and salt… I think," Kakashi answered. However, he wasn't really sure. After all, brown goop could be anything if he and Sasuke were behind it.

"Water? How do you burn water and salt?"

"I think he put oil on it… Somehow, it caught fire in the oven," Kakashi said casually. "Then, I think I've done that before."

"You've done it three times!" Sasuke said, or rather, yelled at the poor man.

"Really? I thought I've done it more…" Kakashi said thoughtfully, looking at Sasuke. The whole scene would seem amusing to most.

However, Iruka was still fuming. "My house was almost burnt down, and you're wondering how many times you've set water on fire?"

"Well, duh. Sasuke will not out-do me," Kakashi said, smiling at Iruka. "Especially in cooking and in bed."

"Those are two different things!"

"You mean incredibly good, and incredibly bad?"

"Yes! I mean, no!" Iruka exclaimed, with a flustered look on his face.

"Aha! So I am good in bed!" Kakashi happily exclaimed.

"That's not the point here!" Iruka screamed.

"Then what is the point?"

Iruka paused. "I don't remember…"

Kakashi looked over at Sasuke and Naruto (who just recently joined the group of people in the front lawn that smelled of burning things). "And that's how you don't get in trouble."

Naruto stood in awe. This man knew how to get Iruka angry… But not have to do extra chores for a week. He was jealous.

"Kakashi, you're a moron," Sasuke said, before going inside, Kakashi and Iruka following shortly after.

_I'm the only one he can call a moron! _Naruto thought angrily, before stomping into the house. _How dare he?_

Of course, while Naruto was stomping towards the merry home, which held a pervert, a freakishly calm boy whom he loved, and an angry father-figure, a car pulled into the driveway.

"Hey kid, can you help me with these mutts?" the bearded man who was driving the truck asked.

Naruto's face paled. In this truck, he saw a lot of fur. Fur belonging to sixteen dogs, to be exact.

And he got to bring in the dogs.

_Lucky me…_

**With the pervert, a freakishly calm boy whom Naruto loves, and an angry father-figure**

Kakashi was happy looking at Iruka's butt, when he heard a truck, a jolly laugh, and barking. After perceiving these sounds, he stood.

"My babies!" Kakashi then proceeded to run out to see his prized dogs.

Iruka heard the barking as well, and then looked at the stove, then at Sasuke who was leaving. _Looks like we're ordering out anyways…_ Iruka thought, before walking outside to join his new "family".

However, upon arriving outside, he realized just how many dogs _sixteen_ dogs were. He was about to faint, when he heard the horn of a car pulling in to his driveway. _Great, another one of Kakashi's friends, I'm guessing._

"Iruka! Hey, Iruka!" Kurenai said, leaning out of her car.

_I must be hearing things._ Iruka thought. _Unless the French teacher drives into my driveway screaming my name._

"Iruka! You forgot your god… damn." Kurenai stopped yelling when she saw the bearded man with many dogs in the driveway.

"On second thought, why don't we just call it a day? I mean, you're tired of grading papers, I bet…"

"Kurenai? Is that you?" Asuma, the bearded man, asked.

"Wait… Kurenai… You know this man?" Iruka asked Kurenai, a bit confused. Maybe the dogs were clouding his thinking, and he was hearing things.

"Define know." Kurenai looked at Asuma, as if to say 'What the hell are you doing here, I thought you were dead'.

"Dated?"

"Yes." Kurenai said, still glaring at Asuma.

"Stop glaring at each other! It's bad for the dogs," Kakashi said fiercely, while one of the puppies licked his face.

"Do you want some tea…?" Iruka left the bearded man to finish off the question.

"Asuma."

"Oh! Asuma?" Iruka recognized the name. Kurenai took a whole semester to get over this guy. Iruka didn't see that much appeal in Asuma, though. He clearly smoked (the smell was suffocating), he had a beard (no doubt it would scratch you), and he had a meaty build. Either he was really good in bed, or Kurenai was crazy. Iruka assumed the latter.

"Yep, that's me," Asuma said, walking in three of the dogs. "Will you guys help?"

"Sure, sure!" Naruto said. He proceeded to grab the leash closest to him when he heard a low growling noise. _Oh, crap._ The dog was huge, growling, and looking at Naruto with a killing intent.

_Am I going to die?_

**Later on, inside the house**

Asuma and Kurenai had left together after coffee. Turned out their relationship's breakup was a total misunderstanding, and they realized how stupid they were. So, they celebrated with a drink. Iruka prayed Kurenai would be at work on Monday.

Naruto was cowering in fear of the dogs. The big dog he had "led" into the house ended up leading him to his doom. Or rather, his 'almost' doom.

The dog led him to the insane cat lady's house that lived next door. The dog (Naruto in tow) ended up running for its life. Luckily, Naruto and the dog (whose name was Shin) both made it.

By this time, everyone had settled down. Most of the dogs were sitting at Kakashi's feet (much to Iruka's discontent; the dogs were very protective), Iruka was trying to get said dogs away from Kakashi, Naruto was fending his food from a pup that "ran away", and Sasuke was attempting to punish the pup for stealing food from his dear Naruto. Indeed, it was a calm, serene scene. It would take quite the jolt to get the scene moving again.

The phone rang.

Kakashi got up to get the phone.

"_Kakashi!"_ screamed the voice on the other line.

Well, there's your jolt.

"Gai?"

"_My youthful rival! How marvelous it is that you have found your own love! Your own flower to protect!"_

"Gai…?"

"_You must be very happy! I only wish you the best! May no evil squirrels show up at your doorway, uninvited!" _ Naruto thought back to Lee, and decided that he picked it up from Gai. _Poor kid… Never had a chance._

"Right… Gai?"

"_Oh, my youthful rival! How wonderful! You have burned your youthful energy to its fullest, allowing the lotus of love to blossom!" _

"Gai?" Kakashi said nervously. The dogs were starting to growl at the phone.

"_Is that the youthful whimpers of Iruka? I pray you were gentle while making your youth explode!"_

"No, Gai. Those are my dogs."

_Click._

Kakashi walked back to his seat, where Iruka had made it to, finally, only to be "shooed" off by Kakashi. He pouted and left the seat, only to start growing mushrooms in the corner (A/N: Anyone that can name the anime where this is sort of said gets the awesome position where you get millions of cookies (hint: My Lord)).

"Is Gai afraid of your dogs?" Naruto asked Kakashi, in a serious tone.

"Maybe."

"Is that the reason you have so many?"

"…"

"Those poor, poor animals."

"Not only that, though! Sasuke would never talk. I got bored."

"… Those poor, poor animals."

At this point, one of the cutest little puppies had slithered over to Iruka, and started licking him. Of course, the puppy was not aware of the evil mushroom army that Iruka had started. Little did the puppy know she just saved everyone in the house from potential mushroom warfare.

"Aww…" Iruka started to hug the puppy. Even if he was angry at the puppy's relatives, the over-all cuteness of the puppy out ruled that. After all, it had big eyes and a stubby little tail that wagged. How could she be a bad puppy?

Well, puppy chose that moment to use the bathroom.

"Kakashi?" Iruka sounded like he could be plotting revenge with his mushroom army.

"Yes, love?" Kakashi said, nuzzling one of the male puppies, who just got nipped at by one of the bigger dogs.

"Are these pups housetrained?"

"They should be. Why?"

"Come look at this carpet."

Kakashi took a look, and noticed that the puppy was wet. "Aw… Did the scary man hurt you?"

"Kakashi?"

"Yes?" Kakashi said, hugging the puppy protectively.

"Clean up her mess."

"Why? You were the one that scared her."

"She's _your_ dog, Kakashi."

Kakashi sighed. "Fine."

Iruka turned his back, and went upstairs to change his pants and shirt. Whoever knew that a dog could plot that well to destroy a home?

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked, still holding back the eager puppy who was about to attack Naruto for his now-empty plate.

"Yeah, Sasuke?" Naruto said, placing his plate down, to show the puppy that he could have some now. The puppy eagerly ran over to Naruto's plate and began to lick.

"I don't like watching Kakashi clean up dog piss. Can we go upstairs?"

Naruto blushed. He had a feeling that Sasuke didn't _just_ want to go upstairs. "Um… Sure! Let me just put up this plate."

Sasuke watched Naruto saunter over to the kitchen. Or rather, he watched Naruto's ass. _Does Naruto know how incredibly sexy his butt looks while he walks? It just goes every way… Too sexy._

"Sasuke?" Naruto's voice drew Sasuke out of his thoughts about a certain part of Naruto's anatomy.

"Yeah, moron?"

"I want to go upstairs."

"Alright." Sasuke showed his predatory grin, and stalked after Naruto.

This left Kakashi alone in the living room.

_I wonder if they'll use protection…_Kakashi wondered, before going back to scrubbing the yellow spot on the floor. He could never hate the cute, little dog that sat before him, but he certainly could be angry at it. "Scram."

**End Chapter**

I know, I know. You all hate me. Well, be prepared to hate me more. One more week until my next update. Then another week and a half. Why? Well, I'll tell you why! It's because my family is on vacation, and where I'm at has NO wireless, and I only go into two once for the 2 and a half weeks I'm there. So, consider this a warning. You may have to wait for the smutfest! No!

Well, yeah. Sorry. xD

Well, I have to reply to all those reviewers. However, I don't have the time to type it all out here. I will only reply to anonymous reviewers here, and I'll send a reply to all those that reviewed non-anonymously. However, I will still write your name (and if it was a splendid review that made me all warm and fuzzy, a reply). So, sorry! I can't type out all my responses and stuff in this chapter, because I'm about to leave. So sorry! This new system will also allow me to update a heck of a lot faster!

Thanks to these non-anonymous reviewers (you made my day, each and every one of you): phantomsnow, feikaze, Midnight Shining Star, Blue-genjutsu, losthimagain, avila7989, Sasura, Red Asatari, silver fox aka vash, Kari no Tenshi (who gets a cookie), Black Gravitation, Kuroneko Kurata SNN, Imari-chan, Sasuke2006, Sesshomarubaby18, FXL, Kawaii-Yami-Neko, sAyUrI aNbU, Sailor Shiroi Cosmos (who gets awesome sauce), Dark Iasha, and swtTom0-chan93.

Replies to all those who I think need to be replied to in public or were anonymous:

SexySpoonsWillRuleUsAll: (kisses spoon) Hooray! I'm married to a screen name!

Tea: How do you love the puppies, now that one of their kind has drizzled on Iruka? I think I feel really bad for Iruka… Then again, this is coming from someone who knows the pains of having a puppy or turtle pee on you (not joking about the turtle, either).

MusicLuvre: (gives Neji a bowlcut) Now go have your mansex with Gaara! Or else! Or else you'll have to have mansex with Naruto… Or Sasuke. X3

Nekimo-chan: It's fine if you pressure me… God knows I need it. xD

Chiyo: Honey, you were my inspiration for the animals. Because I know your house. And I think you have all those animals to make me afraid. xD

Cc128: **EVERYONE, READ THIS REVIEWER'S REVIEW!** I never thought my story would make someone feel sad! I mean, I really want people to laugh and go "aw" every once in a while! I'm so sorry for making you sad! But, at the same time, I feel really happy for you! You got the chance to see him again (unlike me). You see, I still have a few feelings for this one guy from my childhood. I got into anime because I heard he was into it. So, I started posting on fansites and stuff in hopes to find him. No luck yet, but I hope I'll find him soon. Of course, I have a wonderful boyfriend in my life now, so I wouldn't do anything. I just miss him. I wish you luck in finding your price! (cries, and starts to grow mushrooms in a corner)

Yeah. There are my notes to everyone. Whoo! Read, and (of course) feel free to leave a message in the form of review! I love getting emails, as well (email in profile)! Thanks for supporting my fanfic! Also, look into my other fanfictions, like the one I posted on the fourth (angsty, but I have humorous notes), or Escaping Reality (due to come out today). I should also have a crack-shot out by morning.

PS – 303 reviews? You guys rock! Feel free to make it to 350 (I know I have that many on the story alerts list, hint, hint)!


	18. Part 18

Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

_Disclaim: I don't own Naruto, and I don't claim ownership of anything mentioned within this fanfiction, except for the plot and purple manatee. Evilanimeperson claims ownership of my sexy, sexy writing skills, though. xD_

**With Sasuke**

Naruto was leading Sasuke upstairs, while Kakashi looked on from below.

_Oh, I forgot to say it._ "Use protection, boys! Remember, I have condoms in my bedroom!" Kakashi shouted while rubbing one of the female pups (the same one who "attacked" Iruka) on the stomach. Then he followed in a baby-ish voice, "Who's a good girl? You're a good girl! Yes you are! Yes you are!"

Sasuke looked at Kakashi, who had just ruined his lusty mood (the reminder for the protection didn't do too much, but the baby-talk to the puppy just pulled the plug). But, then he remembered that Naruto was waiting on him upstairs. So, not wanting to prolong the chapter of his life any longer, he followed. However, he kept a mental note to kill Kakashi.

"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted from upstairs.

"Coming, Naruto!" Sasuke ignored how sexual that must have sounded, because Naruto _was_ waiting on him. Other times he would have focused on the perverse moments in his mind. But he had _other_ perverse ideas to focus in his mind.

Sasuke followed Naruto up the stairs, hoping he would get something out of Naruto. Or rather, something _in_ him.

**In the Bedroom**

Sasuke and Naruto were both sitting down. Neither knew what to say or do. Both were so nervous all they could do was look at each other when…

"You stupid animal! Lemme go!" Iruka screamed from the hall. At this, both Sasuke and Naruto jumped.

_Crap, Iruka does live here! _Sasuke thought. After all, how on earth was he going to get any with the protective mother hen in the home? Iruka came in handy when he was in trouble, or if Kakashi was in one of his moods, but Sasuke really regretted Iruka's existence at that moment. Naruto, too, seemed to be having second thoughts.

However, Sasuke knew that if he acted now, he could attempt to get to "really know" Naruto.

So, Sasuke started kissing what he thought to be Naruto. However, Naruto's lips were rather cold. And wet.

Sasuke was kissing the dog that he hadn't noticed followed Naruto up the stairs.

Needless to say, upon seeing this, Sasuke determined that he would never kiss an animal again. It was very wet and cold and yucky.

Of course, Sasuke was taken out of his private moment with the animal when Iruka stormed in.

"Sasuke, your dear father will not…" Iruka trailed off as he noticed the exact position of his son, and the other resident of his home. So, he did what any person would do normally.

He fainted.

**With Kakashi**

Kakashi was doing nothing wrong. In fact, he had nothing strange going on (well, unless sex in a classroom counted as strange… Which it didn't! Well… that's what Kakashi told himself), but when he heard the thump, three things came to mind.

One was that Sasuke was being rough with Naruto, and that would mean Iruka was mad at him. But, that couldn't be true, because then he'd be hearing moans.

The other was that one of his doggies had met a horrible fate with an angry lover (namely, his dear Iruka). Of course, if that was the case, he would have heard an angry yap from a puppy.

The final fate was that Sasuke was frenching a dog, whilst seducing Naruto, and Iruka walked in on them and fainted. However, Kakashi wrote this off as his own strange superstition. What were the odds of that actually happening?

"Kakashi! Sasuke was molesting your dog, and I think Iruka's dead!" Kakashi heard Naruto's cry.

This proves it. All of his teachers were right. He was _so_ a genius.

**With Iruka**

Iruka had just awoken from his Sasuke-kissing-dog induced mini-coma. It wasn't that he had never seen anything as strange (he _had_ gone to college, after all), it was just that he hadn't seen anything that strange in a while.

… Right?

Iruka wasn't getting old, was he? He started to panic. "_What if Kakashi doesn't love me anymore because I'm one of those old gay men? No… that could never happen. He and I love each other. …Wait… Love? Could it really be love?_" Iruka was very confused by his own thoughts.

Iruka jumped out of his reprieve when he felt something wet on his head. Of course, his first instinct was that one of the dogs was licking him, so he swatted at the wet… thing.

What Iruka didn't expect was that there was skin there. The skin brought itself away quickly, and something along the lines of "Well, if you didn't want me," was mumbled.

Iruka quickly sat up. He wanted to say "wait!" but no words would come out.

Kakashi just left Iruka lying there. Iruka, not seeing any sense in trying to walk (his legs felt like jelly), laid back down, only to fall into a fitful sleep.

**With Naruto**

"I can't believe you thought that dog was me, Sasuke!" Naruto shouted at Sasuke. Sasuke was making mental notes to always wear earplugs. "Am I really that ugly to you? If I am, why didn't you tell me? I could have done something, like cross dress or something out of one of those books that Kakashi reads! Why can't you just express your feelings?"

Sasuke, who was still attempting to clean out his ears, looked at Naruto with a look that stated "if you don't forgive me, then I'll never forget it, and I'll make your life hard because of it just by being very cute".

Naruto sighed. "Sasuke! I know you're good looking, but not all of us are that sexy! Can't you just take this one thing seriously? I mean… I lo-"

Sasuke paused his look. "Love?"

Naruto blushed for a moment, before turning away. "Lo-loathe. I loathe you."

Sasuke looked at Naruto. "Well, I love you."

Naruto glanced in Sasuke's direction to see if it looked as though he were fooling around. Sasuke didn't seem to be fooling around.

"Sasuke… Why didn't you say so?" Naruto launched himself at Sasuke, and started hugging him.

Sasuke, taken aback by Naruto's actions (after all, just a minute ago, Naruto was talking about killing Sasuke). But, Sasuke wasn't one to complain. He just wrapped his arms around Naruto, and allowed them both to drift into a comfortable sleep.

**With Kakashi**

Kakashi was devastated. He lost Iruka's love! How could a man not be devastated after losing the love of his life? Iruka was the only thing he had… And now he was nothing to him! Iruka swatted his hand away!

Kakashi decided to sleep in the den with his dogs, instead of with Iruka that night. However, he wouldn't sleep on the furniture. No, furniture was for people who Iruka loved. He was just a hamster to Iruka. Good for a little, but not in the long run.

So, he did the most logical thing.

He started to tear up paper to make a "hamster cage". After all, what better was he than a rodent? A lowly, loser rodent.

"Kakashi… what are you doing?" Sasuke had gotten up for a glass of water, and was standing at the entrance to the den, only to find Kakashi ripping up his school report for English class.

"I'm making a cage for a hamster…"

"Kakashi… This might be a shocker, but we don't have a hamster."

"I'm the hamster."

"Kakashi… You aren't a hamster."

"I am so a hamster!"

"Kakashi, you're only fooling yourself." With that, Sasuke left Kakashi to sleep in the den, in his self-made hamster cage.

"I am so a hamster…" Kakashi muttered, before slipping into his sleep.

**In Kakashi's Dream**

Kakashi awoke to find himself in a hamster cage! Because, after all, he was a hamster. He was running on a wheel. And all was good with the world.

**With Naruto**

In the Umino household, mornings normally began with a shower, and then breakfast. This morning, the shower was a good shower, but breakfast… well, breakfast was hamster food.

Naruto looked at the breakfast Kakashi gave him. Then he looked at Kakashi. And finally, once more, just to make sure that he wasn't dreaming, he looked at the seed.

"Kakashi… This is gerbil food."

"No, it's hamster food."

A silence sat for a while…

"Kakashi… I'm not a hamster."

"Don't you understand? I'm a hamster, and all hamsters must give hamster food to their young ones!"

Naruto looked at Kakashi for a moment. "Kakashi. You aren't a hamster. Please realize that you are human."

"I am a hamster. And a hamster I will remain."

"Kakashi, you have to teach art today."

"Hamsters can make art."

Naruto just gave Kakashi a strange look before giving his seed up to the puppies. He then got up to leave. No point in talking to a hamster-man.

**With Iruka**

Iruka had awoken around six in the morning, only to want to sleep some more. His worrying had kept him up all night, and he didn't welcome the sun at all.

Nonetheless, he showered and put on his clothes for the day. Hopefully, no one would be too insane today. Debaters had a tournament coming up. Nothing could happen.

Of course, he didn't expect what he saw in his kitchen. Kakashi was sitting in a pile of shredded paper, Sasuke was poking at a plate of seeds, and the dogs were yipping to get out. Iruka first let the dogs out, then gave Sasuke some real food (to which Sasuke ate happily), and finally walked over to Kakashi.

"Kakashi, what are you doing?" Iruka asked Kakashi.

"I'm a hamster."

"Get out of your paper pile."

"No. It's my cage, for I am a hamster."

"Kakashi, if you're a hamster, I won't be with you."

"You aren't with me anyways, remember? You swatted my hand away. I'm just a lonely hamster."

Iruka sighed. "Kakashi, I thought you were a dog."

"Then I should let myself outside, to sleep with the dogs… They aren't much better than a hamster, though…"

"Kakashi… you aren't an animal! You're a human! You're _my_ human!"

"But… I'm a hamster-dog."

"Kakashi, you're not a hamster-dog!"

"I am so! At least… to you, I am…"

"Kakashi…" When Kakashi attempted to interrupt him, Iruka stopped him. "Let me finish."

Kakashi nodded.

"Kakashi, I love you. But, if you're a hamster-dog, I'll feel bad about your mental state. Please be a human again."

"Only if you kiss me."

"What?"

"I want a kiss. Then I won't be a hamster-dog anymore."

"Kakashi, I'm not going to kiss a hamster-dog."

"Fine! Then a hamster-dog I shall remain."

Iruka hated himself for what he was about to do. He really didn't want Kakashi to have his way, but they did have to leave for work in a few moments. He leaned in to give Kakashi a peck on the cheeks. "There!"

"I am a human again!" Kakashi nearly exploded with happiness at his new-found opposable thumbs.

Sasuke, who had witnessed this whole scene sighed and went about his business. _Where has Naruto gone to, I wonder…?_

**With Naruto**

Naruto had been afraid of the hamster man, so he started to run away from his home, only to run into Kiba.

"Kiba, what are you doing here?" Naruto questioned.

"I had a question for Kakashi about the latest art project. I don't really understand lips."

"Well, good luck with that."

"Why? Is he fucking?"

"No."

"What is it?"

"He's a hamster." Without another word, Naruto left Kiba behind in confusion.

"… Ham… ster?"

**With Sakura**

Sakura was eating her breakfast in the cafeteria, only to be joined by Naruto.

"Hey, Naruto! What's up?" Sakura appeared to be in a very good mood today. Naruto wondered why that was, but he just ate.

"Naruto, I asked what's up?"

Naruto swallowed his juice, and then started his answer. "Well, Kakashi's dogs are here, Iruka fainted, Sasuke made out with a dog, and now Kakashi thinks he's a hamster."

Sakura laughed. "Why would Kakashi think he's a hamster?"

Naruto looked at Sakura, his expression giving nothing away. "He's a rodent. He is therefore a hamster."

Sakura looked at Naruto once, before picking up her food and moving two tables away. Unfortunately, Lee was at that table.

Upon seeing his love move to his table, Lee began to declare his love. Sakura didn't really care.

**With Kakashi**

First period art had begun for Kakashi. All he really wanted to do was take a nap and give his students some practice with sketching figures. Of course, fate wouldn't keep it at that.

Upon walking into his classroom, Kakashi spotted three of his students sitting farther away from him than usual.

"Hey class, what's the matter? I won't hurt you." Kakashi tried to look disinterested, but the act didn't work.

However, only one student moved up. And that one person was Lee.

"Mr. Hatake! Thank you so very much! You have made my love for the lovely Miss Sakura a possibility by becoming a hamster-man!" Kakashi looked at Lee as though he had at least five heads, a tattoo and a pierced… well; the fangirls fill that one in.

Then, out of nowhere, Kakashi felt himself being pummeled. "Hatake!"

"Lee!"

"Finally! You return the power of youth, Hatake!"

"No, Lee!"

"Yes! Hatake!"

"Lee, get off!"

"Oh." With that, Lee got off of Kakashi, and the youthful moment was over.

Kakashi wiped off his pants and shirt. "Now, then. Let's sketch some bodies. Preferably in a sexual manner."

"Kakashi, what about you being a hamster?" Sakura asked from the back of the class.

"What about me being a hamster?"

"Naruto said that you were a hamster!" Lee exclaimed.

"Why, I have no idea what he was talking about."

With that, more people moved up to the front.

_Why would I be a hamster?_ Kakashi wondered, as he began the basic human figure on the board.

**End chapter**

Alright, I noticed how all of you probably want to kill me. Right about now, if my internal clock is right. But, I _do_ actually have a reason for not updating. In the order of how I died… here's my list…?

1. **Laziness**. Yeah, I was lazy whilst taking my vacation, and I only finished two one-shots (well, three if you count that Yondaime one I did a while back). And I plan to make some more.

2. **Summer Reading**. I underestimated my summer reading for school. I thought, "Oh! Only 4 books? I can do that in about a week, maybe write a little, eat some food, and sleep a lot." Well… I was horribly mistaken. I spent more time reading than sleeping, actually! Just ask A-chan! O.o;

3. **School**. Yeah, I started school. And I have an AP class. Which I have a high C in. I'm trying hard, but I think I'll die. I also have A's other than that. I think that AP world history just sort of hates me. But, it's my favorite class! xD

4. **Anime conventions/ friends moving away**. I raped 118 people at an anime con recently, which took a great deal of my time (note that if you think I might have raped you, please tell me! It would make for a great review xD). After this convention, I wouldn't get to see Chiyo anymore, so I had to talk to her, and cram her in a car underneath my smelly elbow.

5. **Lack of study hall time**. I normally write this fanfiction during my study halls if I'm bored, and (of course), this year my study hall is right when everyone hates me (IE: early in the morning).

(These last two are in no order, really)

6. **Pretty Boy Club**. We're on gaia, look us up, we rock. Give O P E R A T O R and R O B O T cookies, for they rock. And Sai-chan, too. She rocks. But, this club did take away from free time, as I am a mod, and a sexy mod at that. X3

7. **Lack of Inspiration**. I found my new inspiration on Saturday (thank you _so_ much J-chan (you know who you are!)), and I felt inspired to write.

8. **Third World Conditions for School**. Yeah. I had to make bricks in the hot days, and eat very little. Not much time for writing in this time period. Because I woulda died if I attempted anything that resembled thinking. xD

And with that, let's get to replying to anonymous reviews!

Narukitsune: I like puppies too! That's why I felt I should add them. The number was inspired by Chiyo-chan, though! xD

Chiyo: The number was inspired by you, and you _hate_ animals? I find that funny… xD

Crystalia: You get a cookie, indeed! I added another scene from Ouran here, but I drew it out. I drew it out a lot. xD

Raven: Yay! I'm glad you like my story! I think if people were all reading it, I would get much love-love! xD

Moozy: Don't worry, though! I will update more frequently! I promise! Because updating is my ninja… way… It's alright! I hope you can get your account back soon:O

MuzicLuvre: No! I killed Milady! (dies with her) xD

alex's little duckling: Ah! I shall have to re-read that series now! xD  
narutomania: Nah, it's alright if you skip around a little (I do that with my school stuff! xD)

tea: The mushrooms will return next chapter! Worry you not! xD  
personw/cookies: If you have cookies, give 'em here! Now! But I have to give you one for finding the scene from Ouran:D

Nekimo-chan: With me you need to pressure me! Otherwise I'll be lazy! So thanks for reviewing!

Well, read, relax, and review! Review! Even though I don't really deserve it, review! xD There are also some one-shots up, for those of you who weren't just satisfied with this one chapter!


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